I'm Going To Date Myself

Hey there, ho there. How ya durrin.
Never mind, It's not #backthatazzup time yet. (PS. see you tomorrow, maybe?)

Today is going to be an interesting one thanks to a little chat I had with my spirit animal, Whitney. No, I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about the little lady who not only shares my name but also my birthday. Color me amused by that one. Still.

Anywhoodles, let's chat about something a little deep today. Not ocean deep, nothing that serious. This is kiddie pool deep, I'd say.

Like I've mentioned before, I've been labeled as a "relationship person" for as long as I can remember. Not that I ever really tried to always be in a relationship, it just always seemed to happen that way. I don't know if it was subconscience or what, but I just always found myself locked down with the next Joe Schmo soon after the last asshat kicked rocks.

With that being said, it's no surprise that this is the longest I've been completely single since Tyler M. held my hand for the first time back in 3rd grade. It's a serious change of pace, honestly. There are times when it feels so strange and unnatural to literally have no one to check in with. No one to explain my whereabouts to. No one to count on to cheer me up when I've had a horrible day. No one to take me out for dinner. It's just me.

I'll be honest with you, some days I want to go running back to my ex because of this and it's not something I'm proud of, or even something I'd actually do, but sometimes it's really easy to get caught up in that picture in my head of where I thought I'd be by 26 and how far away from that picture my reality really is. I'd be lying if I said that I never get lonely, because I do, but that's part of being single, right?

I'm really lucky to have an amazing group of friends who are constantly at an arms reach if I ever start to get down on myself or feel lonely. They're typically always up for doing something, whether it's getting me out of the house or just coming over and keeping me company, and I seriously feel like I hit the jackpot for having such a support system.

Here's the clincher... Why do I feel the need to constantly need people around me to feel good? I don't. I genuinely loathe this trait about myself and I'm ready to kick that habit harder than LiLo needs to kick her drug habits.

So, over the next two months, or so, I'm going to date myself. Because if I can't be happy and love dating myself, why would anyone else want to? I'm going to do all of the things I love about having a significant other (aside from, you know, the whole bedroom shebangbang...), but I'm going to do them all alone. Just me, myself, and I, kickin' it old school.

I'm hoping to document said dates here on the interwebz to keep myself focused on me. Because if you can't be completely selfish when you're single, when can you? Amiright?

I think I'll start with taking myself to a movie, or maybe even to one of my favorite restaurants.
Lord, I just hope I don't bore myself. Suddenly I'm nervous to go on a date with myself.
Shit's getting weird.