Offers from Clorox, Wendy's and Toys R Us

Friday 30 November 2012

Clorox is looking for your life's messy moments in their Bleach It Away Campaign. Share your messy moment and immediately receive a coupon for .50 off Clorox and the chance to win $15,000. Every day one messy moment will be chosen as the featured messy moment of the day and the submitter awarded with a $50 gift card. You can also submit a messy moment on Twitter to @Clorox and use #bleachitaway to be entered in a drawing for a $50 gift card in a weekly Twitter sweepstakes.

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For the 2nd year Wendy's and Toys R Us have partnered to provide 8 new holiday-themed toys and 2 money-saving Kids' Meals offers during the holiday season. You can print a coupon for a $1.99 Kids' Meal and inside the Kids' Meal find an offer for a $10 TRU gift card when you spend $75 on qualifying purchases.

 

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Pump the Brakes on that Anxiety

Don't adjust your computer screens - don't panic - this is not a test of your emergency broadcasting system - Whitney has just been hijacked. But don't worry, I promise to make this almost as painless as getting your eyebrows threaded.

For those of you that don't know me, I'm Brooke, and I blog over at Tales From My Fairytales (which Whitney waved her pink sparkly wand over and made look absolutely fabulous).

I'm a cowboy boot wearing, southern speaking, sports loving Kentucky girl with jacked up to Jesus hair, a deep love for Jake Owen, all things outdoor, Mexican food and chocolate. In no particular order.

If you've been around these parts for long, y'all know that our girl Whitney has been blogging about anxiety  - so while she's out doing sparkly princess things - I'm here to talk about how she can pump the brakes on her overwhelming feelings of anxiety.

One

We all know Whitney loves her boxed wine. And who doesn't? But sometimes you can't roll up into the movies, sporting event, trip to the mall or hair appointment with a box of wine the size of small baby. 

I have the solution.

These are roughly 3 glasses of wine - or one and a half Tervis Tumblr's full - they fit in your purse, and are a great way to get your buzz on.

Two

Drown your sorrows in a bathtub full of bubbles. Because don't we all look like this in the tub?

PSA: do not google image bubble bath at work

Fill that tub full of bubbles, turn on the musical stylings of Mumford and Sons (or Lil Wayne), sip a glass of wine and feel the anxiety leave the tips of your toes. If you can find a hot man that resembles Jake Owen to find his way in the tub with you, well, I'm not one to tell you how to spend your time.

Three

Go out dancing with your girlfriends.

Nothing helps me more than dropping it like it's hot. Busting a move or just simply getting my groove on.

Four

Text your girlfriends.

It's team no judgment around these parts. It's great to have a set of girlfriends in your back pocket that you can text about ANYTHING. So if you feel like your curling iron is still burning - text your girlfriend. If you feel like the man behind you is following you - text your girlfriend (that way the police can trace your phone and your whereabouts, duh).

I promise there will be none of this on the other end.

Five

If all else fails - head straight to Chipotle, buy the biggest burrito they have - and eat til your heart is content. 

I'm all about eating some carbs when the troubles of the world feel like they are weighing your shoulders - may as well move that feeling from your shoulders to your stomach. 

Hope this solves all your anxiety-ridden problems today, pretty princesses!

Until next time,

Brooke

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Caring Santa at Simon Malls

Thursday 29 November 2012

For the 3rd consecutive year Ability Path has joined forces with Simon Malls across the country to host  "Caring Santa" for kids with special needs and their families. Noerr Programs is providing the photography.

Caring Santa is a special photo session that is set up privately and is sensory-friendly. Dim lights, no music, play stations while kids wait, and pre-scheduled appointments to limit the wait time.

This year's participants include 81 Simon Malls, 2 military exchanges, and 6 independent malls.

They aren't in every state, but you can search by state and see if there is a Caring Santa near you to sign up.

The events for the military - called Santa Cares - are being held at Ft Bragg in NC and Ft Campbell in KY. Both of those events are this Sun, Dec 2, from 0900-1100.

 

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The Inevitable.

Guys. GUYS!

Yesterday? Yesterday was by far the most amazing day I have experienced as a blogger.

So many amazing stories, so many beautiful new faces I got a chance to interact with.

Thank YOU all for sharing your personal stories with me, it was a really incredible day for me.

Here is just a small sample of some of the amazing feedback I received, amongst so many personal emails and comments...

Seriously though, I can't express how grateful I am for each and every one of you stepped forward and found a way to make me feel so normal and not alone. This blogging world is really, really amazing.

With all of that said, I think I have one more thing to cover on this topic before I shove it aside and go back to writing about how I returned a stale box of wine last night...

The inevitable.

Here is my list of the inevitable facts of being an anxiety sufferer:

**Disclaimer: this is all in good fun and is not meant to be taken seriously what-so-ever.

1. You absolutely did leave the oven on and your house is burning down as we speak.

Also, your hair straighteners, Scentsy warmers, irons, etc. They are all on, even after you've checked them 3 times over before you left the house, and you need to go check just one more time because your house is definitely going to be ashes when you get home and your pets will be gone. 

2. Those emails in your inbox will explode permanent ink all over the place, like those security tags, if you do not check it right now.

Yep, that's right, the world can not go on if you don't check your email at 3am, when you wake up tossing and turning, because there is most likely something life threatening in there.

Or, you know, just an email from your long lost Arabian relative who has a large fortune to send you once you respond with all of your personal information.

3. That unsaved number calling you is absolutely an evil monster calling to steal your virtue.

Or your first born, which ever comes first. Yes, unsaved numbers calling your phone are always means for a minor panic attack. I mean, there's no chance it's just a spam caller - even if you are on the national "do not call" list.

4. That semi truck approaching you in the next lane over is absolutely going to tip over on top of your car.

Speed up, immediately think of excuses to tell the cop when you get pulled over and get the hell away from that evil truck. You and your vehicle will be mashed potatoes if that semi gets anywhere near you. Also, don't forget to get out your spare napkins from your glovebox because I know you are perspiring like a whore in church right now.

5. You know that vehicle behind you that just made the exact same 3 turns as you? Yeah, they're absolutely following you.

ABORT MISSION and start making weird turns around the neighborhood until you lose them. This is not a joke, this is serious business. I mean, I know you don't actually watch many scary movies because they evoke many, many feelings of anxiety but this has to be what those movies are about.

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Good for a Laugh

Wednesday 28 November 2012

If you need a good laugh...

I felt kind of bad laughing at this guy, but he was laughing and his friends were laughing, and well...I just had tears running down my cheeks listening to them.

Warning: most of this is in German (I think!) but there are a few (loud!) words in English. Those just happen to be a couple of cuss words. So if you watch this around your kids, or at work, you might want to have the sound turned really low, or off.

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Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed, not even just whelmed.

Today is going to be one of those days I take a break from my typical light-hearted jib jab.

Why? Because there's a real life person that lives under my sarcastic skin, I promise.

A vulnerable and sensitive post.

Oh boy, here she is...

Anxiety. I've got it.

I've got the kind the doctor considers to be moderate to severe.

Moderate on my good days - severe on my worst.

I've got the kind of anxiety that proves to be an every day battle.

Anxiety is a massive bastard. Somedays he even introduces me to his colleague, depression.

It's a battle I didn't even know I faced until I turned 22.

22 is when I realized that getting cut off while driving is not means for a total meltdown on the side of a local highway. 

22 is when I realized that laying in bed at night, mind racing back and forth, panicking about an email box full of mail just wasn't normal. 

22 is when I realized that constantly thinking my house was going to be burglarized while I was sleeping wasn't normal.

22 is when I went and got help. 

Help meaning drugs, if we're being honest.

One drug by the name of Lexapro.

At 22 I began a numbing, empty relationship with a med named Lexapro that lasted for two years.

If you aren't a math buff, as I am certainly not, I'm 25 now and no longer in said relationship.

Why? Well, simply put... "I'd rather be crazy than numb." -My Ty Ty BFF

I am not saying the drugs are bad, because they aren't at all, they simply didn't adjust to my body.

For me the meds took the life out of me. I was empty.

Not sad. Not happy. Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed, not even just whelmed.

Sure, the insomnia was cured. The panic attacks? They vanished. 

I had absolutely no interest in feeling anything.

I wasn't worried about anything. Ever.

Two years of numbness later.. I went off the meds.

Today? Today I have anxiety attacks regularly.

Anxiety attacks stemming from forgetting my lunch at home all the way to not having my rent check turned in at least 5 days prior to the first when it's due.
I still think there's always someone behind me waiting to attack, I still lay in bed stressing about my Brita pitcher that I forgot to refill.
I still carry around my pepper spray like it's a bomb that will inevitably save me from anything.

Yep, mostly I panic about things I know are silly.

Most nights, even with the help of melatonin, I wake up somewhere around 3am worrying about something. Anything. Could be something as simple as bringing something to the post office the next day.

It's a burden, it's an absolute thorn in my life's side, but at least I am feeling.

My relationship with anxiety is an absolute mind over matter thing.

I try meditating when I can't sleep.

I try taking very deep breaths when I feel overwhelmed. 

I try not letting little things effect how I behave.

I try reminding myself that anything good that can happen will happen.

Somedays are great, somedays are not.

Such is the life of the anxiety sufferer.

At this point in life, I'm happy to be able to feel these struggles.

One day? Well, one day I may be fed up with this anxiety and go back on the numbness train.

Today, I try my hardest to be as whelmed (also see: normal) as humanly possibly.

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Bow Tree Skirt {Tutorial}

Tuesday 27 November 2012

Hey friends, guess what?

Yesterday on my lunch break I went to Hob Lob in search of a tree skirt for Charles, my Christmas tree.

Turns out, tree skirts are a complete rip off.

I'm talking $60 for a piece of fabric.

I don't know about you guys but my budget doesn't have $60 to spare for something I will only use for the next month.

-Insert my ballin' on a budget mindset here-

So, I took a detour and headed to the fabric isle, trying my best to remember all of those things I learned while obtaining that degree I don't use in Fashion Design.

All I knew is that I was not interested in sewing so I really had to pull out my creative juices.

Today, I present...

Here's what you need:

3-4 yards of tulle

Straight pins

That's it. Guys, I made this for under $5.

1. Wrap tulle around the tree stand as if you were prepping to tie a normal bow.

Leave one "tail" longer than the other.

Be sure to surround the tree stand so it's fully masked with pretty tulle.

2. Take 3 straight pins and connect the tulle in the center - like this:

3. Form each side in to a bow shape using straight pins to help keep it's form. 

Be sure to pin the side with the longer "tail" last so that it's sticking out.

4. Wrap your long tail around the center to create the final bow appearance and pin in the back as much as necessary. 

Note: I used a couple of extra pins to tack back extra fabric that stuck out.

Let the straight pins be your amiga, compadre, BFF.

And viola! You have yourself a Christmas tree wrapped in a bow.

Tilted star and all. Just kidding, that's Charles and his swag.

Like it? Love it?

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"Bittersweet Subconscious"

"Bittersweet Subconscious"

Dreamt about you yesterday.
Found some time to hide away.
Found a place far from the chase
Where the mind invites a slower pace.
Thoughts of you sweet to the taste
Like candy chewed standing in place.
Bitter are the yearning moments.
Careful in chaste. No land of atonement.
Soft and delicate your pose.
Remnant petals from our rose.
From dormancy, the ones we chose
Befriend the wind and find our groves.
Cherry blossoms in the fall.
Hands sink deep within the wall.
Sorry that I missed your call.
I just needed time to stall.

Didn't want to wake up.
Our ringtone chose to shake up
My seldom surrendered faculties.
Wanted back my fantasy.

Dreamt of you tonight.
Felt more like a nightmare.
Felt like you didn't care.
Why did you cut your hair?
Swag in your bag,
Swerve on my nerves,
A woman full of fads
Claiming Barbie doll curves.
Wanted back my baby.
Only God could save me
From abhorrence so enslaving
In contempt of my fair lady.

Multicolored wigs,
as shapely as a twig,
and an insatiable itch
To cackle like a witch…………

My eyes twitched for hours.
Took a cold shower
and laid back down
After a few sighs and a frown;

But nothing was better
Than that daydream I had
While writing you love letters.
Sat among an angel's feathers.
Found myself surrounded by clouds.
Suddenly swept up in a swarm.
Spoke to my favorite storm.
She brought you to me.
Everything was so bright;
But I maintained pristine sight.
Dark as ever on this night,
So we collected shards of light.

Since we had light works,
We'll illuminate the sky.

And if it's light work,
You'll feel it in your thighs.

And if this light works,
We'll place it up so high

That Celestial vapors burn pure
Whenever God's angels cry.

How often my heart swells
Amid stints of pure hell
Where the only getaway
are those moments in the day
When I push it all away
And gently scrape the sides
Of this ever active mind
Where fond thoughts of you reside.

I wake up alone late nights.
I pull through with you each day.
I waive no anguish when I say
That my dream is so far away…………

…………I miss you. ♥

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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First Sleepover

Monday 26 November 2012

Kayla has been away from us overnight before. When she was around 3 or 4 she stayed a few nights with my in-laws. I know she really missed us that time because when we were reunited she wouldn't let us out of her sight! Both kids have also stayed with my mom a couple of times when we were living with her during Joe's deployment. Most recently they stayed with my mom the first night Joe and I went to the convention this summer.

 Last month we had an impromptu sleepover for both kids when we were helping out friends of ours. It worked out nicely because their daughter is Kayla's age and one of their son's is Lucas' age. They all enjoyed the double sleepover that night.

But Kayla hasn't been over to a friend's house for a sleepover before. A big girl sleepover without any family members around is such a milestone, isn't it?

I knew she would do fine as she's talked about sleepovers for what seems like forever. I knew she wouldn't be homesick for us because she's rather be anywhere but home! Seriously, when we are returning from any overnight trip she gets upset as we're heading home. She'll frequently say "No go home! Go back to hotel! I want to sleep at a hotel!"

I knew she would be excited about getting to sleep over her friend's house - and she was. It was all she talked about for the 2 weeks prior!

It was a big success. As sleepovers always go they stayed up late ... and then these girls got up way too early (5AM?! Really!?)

When I was driving Kayla home I heard a big yawn from the back seat. I asked her if she was tired. She said "No!" I asked if she was a little bit tired; she insisted she wasn't.

Several minutes later I heard another yawn and was going to ask her again if she was tired, but decided to just leave it alone. When we were a couple of minutes from home I glanced back at her (this was only a 15 minute drive) and she was out. Head-hanging-over-out. It was only 11:15! I wonder how much sleep those girls actually got.

Then she passed out on the couch for a few hours. Thankfully she didn't have any trouble falling asleep that night!

Pictures from a successful sleepover:



(Ahoy.jenni - if you're reading this - I wanted to email you but can't find your email. Send me an email please! You can find mine in my profile. Thanks!)

 

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My halls are decked.

Well, hey! It's been a hot minute since I've been around these parts, hasn't it?

Turns out that mixing a gluttonous holiday and a head cold from hell equates to something along the lines of a blogging vacation. Go figure.

Have no fear, I'm back and I have fun pictures to show you.

I know we all love pictures more than reading my random jib jab most days anyways.

So, while I was neglecting this sweet blog o' mine - here's what I was up to...

Friday my mom and I chose to ignore the fact that I was a walking germ ball and headed to the mall for a little Black Friday shopping. Really, I didn't do too much damage.

And then I saw these Ray Bans.....

Damage done.

Ella likes them too.

Saturday was painful to the 100th degree. 

If you don't know why, well, I watched the Florida State vs. Florida game and we lost horribly.

I still love my Noles...

Except now I owe this guy a week full of home cooked meals.

Womp womp. 

Yesterday my halls got decked, or something like that.

I went to a Christmas tree lot and picked out a cute little 4 1/2 footer - which I have named Charles.

(there's a tree on top of my car, for those of you who missed it... *uhem*KAIT*uhem*)

I wrapped Charles in some lights and a bunch of pink and gold ornaments.

I also put some balls in a vase.

Vase balls.

And I made my backdoor a little festive.

Andddddd, I got new lamps. These aren't holiday related at all but my living room is FINALLY coming together. My sofa, ottoman and tv stand get delivered on Thursday and I can't even describe how happy this makes me. Really though.

And really, that's it.

I'm moving real slow today thanks to having the last 5 days off. Oh, and my Florida blood is frozen this morning. Not that you Northerners have sympathy, or anything.

Alright, I'm out of here. See you tomorrow!

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I'm Free

Thursday 22 November 2012

Even though I didn't spend many Thanksgivings with my dad over the years, since we were separated by long distances, I am missing him today.

There are many of us out there who have lost a parent, or any loved one, this year and are getting through this first Thanksgiving (and holiday season) without them around.

Sharing this for all of us in the hopes that we are surrounded by loved ones and happy memories to help us get through this time.

"I'm Free" (I don't know who to give the credit for this)
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free;
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
If my parting has left a void,
then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss;
Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow;
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much;
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me:
 God wanted me now, He set me free.

 

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I'm thankful for the shades that hide my hungover eyes.

Wednesday 21 November 2012

So, it's the day before Thanksgiving and, from what I can gather, the blog world will be dead tomorrow.

To avoid the risk of writing my super thoughtful, and not at all sarcastic, thankful Thanksgiving post and having no one around to read it, I'm going to post it today.

I know, don't all jump out of your seats at once. 

This year I am thankful for...

 the person who figured out that 4 bottles of wine could fit in one convenient box - with a spout.

Day & NyQuil for helping me forget I am, yet again, under the Thanksgiving curse for another year.

Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty, Moonshiners, and every other entertaining redneck reality show.

my washer, which is currently washing the sheets Ella decided to vomit on at 7am this morning.

those of you posting photos of people in tents outside of stores. That shit is hilarious.

green bean casserole, which I am likely to destroy easily 4 servings of tomorrow.

RayBan aviators - for all of the times they have hidden my hungover eyes.

Jenelle's mom from Teen Mom. Barb has some seriously brilliant one-liners. "High! High!"

Blogger for occupying so many hours of my time each day. Except for Saturday & Sunday, duh.

Ty Ty, Brookie, and Samilicious. 'Nough said.

yoga pants that will allow me to stuff my face tomorrow and not feel like I'm going to bust a button.

Eat lots of food tomorrow, loves. I'm out!

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My Thanksgiving curse.

Tuesday 20 November 2012

Notice anything new around here? No? Alright then, moving on.

Yesterday, throughout the course of my work day, I began to feel a little tickle in my throat. 

A very unwelcome tickle. 

I woke up this morning feeling pretty shitty and the tickle is a full on sore throat at this point.

Yep, a short two days before the day it's socially acceptable to stuff your face with anything and everything in sight and I'm popping vitamin C like it's my job.

This would shock most - unless you are me.

You see, my Thanksgiving track record is less than impressive. 

After last year's fiasco, I'm convinced I have some sort of Thanksgiving curse on me.

Last year my sweet mother and myself got into a nice little disagreement which caused my eating KFC alone at my townhouse for Thanksgiving. 

Last year, around Thanksgiving time, was also the time I was going through that fun engagement mishap.

Screw the butter knife, the tension that surrounded last year's Thanksgiving could have been cut with a plastic spoon.

Then two years ago I managed to catch the most violent stomach flu I've ever known.

This beast of an illness hit me at 2am on Thanksgiving morning.

Yes, I had a flu that wouldn't even allow me to keep down an ice chip on the biggest eating day of the year.

Who the hell do you have to piss off in the universe to manage that?

Three years ago I decided I was a vegetarian.

Really Whitney? You pick THE HOLIDAY SEASON to go through this short-lived phase?

Yeahhhh, that was some real bad judgement.

Still regretting that to this day. I mean, I was healthy and I DIDN'T eat half of my favorite foods.

I hang my head in shame reminiscing this year.

I plan on kicking this sore throat's ass by chugging hot tea like it's natty light and this is my freshman year of college so that my Thanksgiving this year will break this curse I'm under.

If I don't get to enjoy turkey, stuffing, potatoes, green bean casserole and enough pie to feed a small country this year, I will be quitting this holiday once and for all.

Also, I need to be able to take down a bloody mary or 10.

My dad is the dad who can't handle the pressure of cooking the turkey and ends up having some type of tryptophan meltdown somewhere shortly after the Purina Dog Show ends.

I need some vodka to cushion the inevitable meltdown.

Anyways, here's to vitamin C and my dad's famous "Over the lips, through the gums, lookout stomach here it comes. Yay, God." prayer. 

Go away, Thanksgiving curse.

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Photo Booth Fun

Monday 19 November 2012

We ended the PurpleStride walk with some photo booth fun. It was a nice way to decompress after the walk ... and the kids really enjoyed picking out silly hats and glasses!

 

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My favorite physical activity aside from beer pong and flip cup.

Well hey there, party peoples! 

I'm back from Seattle, also known as the trip I spent more time in the air than in the actual town I flew to. If you didn't know, I was there shooting a wedding for two people I have known since we were knee high to a curb. It was a beautiful wedding but considering I left my hotel at 2:30AM yesterday and didn't return to Florida soil until 8:30PM - I can barely remember my own name right now.

With that said, I want to talk about airports and flying.

When I wasn't doing this - 

(Which, lezbihonest, was 9 out of my 10 hours of flight time.)

I was doing my favorite physical activity aside from beer pong and flip cup.

Also known as people watching.

Flying is quite possibly the greatest form of birth control besides attending a small child's birthday party.

 I swear over the course of the 20-something hours I spent in 4 different airports this weekend I saw more child leashes than I've seen at Disney during Christmas time and I've heard more screams than opening night of the Blair Witch Project.

Color me informed - parenthood is no walk in the park.

Though I'm not sure that the one child I crossed paths with that I actually enjoyed will agree. She became my favorite somewhere during a conversation with her bigger brother while she explained that when she grew up she wanted to be a princess and a mom. Homegirl was my kind of peeps, I could tell.

Once I got over the initial shell shock of being in a sea of whining, screaming small people, I settled in my small airplane seat where I was forced to shove my partially broken earbuds in my ears to avoid casual conversation with the seemingly lonely business man sitting next to me.

At least I managed to score a couple of free diet cokes and a bag of stale pretzels.

Killing time on a 5 hour flight can also cause for extreme boredom.

Enter: SkyMall.com

If you've never picked up an issue of SkyMall from your conveniently placed seat pocket you are missing out on some of the world's most insignificant and unnecessary items to purchase ever.

I would personally get serious entertainment if I saw someone lugging this through airport security.

Do you run this thing through the x-ray machine or what?

Leg and thigh massage, anyone?

Thanks to SkyMall you no longer need a significant other. Just strap on these ever so flattering boots and thigh cuffs and prepare to have your world rocked.

Want to teach your cat how to use your toilet? Who doesn't?!

Litter Kwitter... What could go wrong?

Have you ever tried to put shoes on your cat or dog?

No, just me? Well, I can tell you one thing for certain... They won't stand there like this for you.

I once put Ella in a pair of socks and she walked around like each paw was stuck in gum. 

My favorite.

Just because they chose the name "Butch".

Really though, whoever has the job of selecting the products SkyMall carries must have one hell of a creative thought process.

And that's all I've got for you today, friends.

If anyone has an IV of RedBull, feel free to send it my way. 

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PurpleStride Savannah

Sunday 18 November 2012

This weekend we drove to Tybee Island, GA for the Pancreatic Cancer Network's PurpleStride 5K.

It was a chilly and windy walk/run on the beach, but I'm glad that we went in memory of my dad.

They had a short kids' run and then there was the 5K Run/Walk. The wind really started to get to Kayla so Joe took her back up on the pier and Lucas toughed out the rest of the walk with me. Ok except on the way back when a police officer patrolling the beach offered us a ride back ... and Lucas wanted to ride on the jeep; so we almost made the 5K.

It was an emotional day thinking about, and remembering my dad, and wishing he was still here with us.

Glow sticks to light it up purple for hope and remembrance of loved ones.

 

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