Today Was A Fairytale

Sunday 30 June 2013

Hi friends!! Today I'm introducing you to Kelly from Today Was A Fairytale!
She's adorable and so sweet. Enjoy!

1. What made you start a blog?

I started my blog back in November of 2008 after I moved 9 hours away from my family to be with my hubby {then boyfriend}. I wanted a way for them to stay up to date with all the stuff going on in my life. That being said, I didn’t really start getting into posting on a regular basis until June of 2011 after I got engaged. Since then it has become a way for me to vent, share stories and document our lives as newlyweds. I have met some amazing people through my blog and built friendships with people all over the US. People that I wouldn’t have met any other way.

2. If you could be one food, any food, what would you be? 

I’m going to have to say chocolate because it’s sweet and always seems to make things better.

3. What is your all time, number 1, favorite song in the world? 

“I Was Here” by Lady Antebellum {here’s the video http://youtu.be/4XZ12nrz47U}

4. If you could pick up and move anywhere, where would you go? 

Right now I’m super home sick so I’m going to say back to Idaho with my family {taking my husband with me of course}. If I wasn’t so home sick, I would probably say Italy.

5. Do people in your "real life" know about your blog? If yes, what do they say about it? If no, what scares you about telling them? 

A few of my close friends and family know about my blog, but don’t read it and haven’t really said much to me about it if they have read it and that’s ok with me. It’s not that I’m scared for them to read it, it’s not like I post bad things about them, I just like having something for myself.



Go check out Kelly and say hello!

Blog  |  Bloglovin  |  Twitter

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Superbook on ABC Family

Friday 28 June 2013

I was recently asked if I would like to receive DVDs of episodes from the Superbook Summer Series to review.

I hadn't heard of Superbook before, but was intrigued by the description and went to the website to check it out further.

This series is based on CBN's classic cartoon with the new series featuring Bible stories brought to life using state-of-the-art animation. This is an award-winning series that engages children and teaches them about the truths in God's word.

Superbook airs on ABC Family from July 1-5 at 9:30am ET.

We are making our way through the DVDs, but so far my children are really enjoying them! Full review coming soon.

 

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My NFL Orientation Speech

Last night I went out for a friend's birthday and drank margaritas.
Margaritas on a school night... not my brightest idea ever. Especially when you drink 3, eat tacos, and your entire bill only totals $10. I should really be chalking that up to a win but I have a feeling it's going to be biting me in the ass here in a couple hours. Stay tuned.


Today I'm about to make my friend Sarah feel real proud because today I've got to talk about football a little bit. Don't go running for the hills, those of you who aren't into the sports thing, this shouldn't be difficult to follow.

Here's the deal, there's a idiot football player by the name of Aaron Hernandez who's super talented at what he does, got drafted to the Patriots right out of college, just resigned a big, fat contract with said Patriots and, oh, he's also currently residing in a 5x5 prison cell and being accused of 1st degree murder.

Did I mention that homeboy is a Florida Gator? Yeah, obviously that explains a lot.
PS. Go Noles.

Anywho, as I'm watching this story unfold, I can't help but to think there should be some sort of orientation when you get drafted in the NFL. You know, like when you go away to college and you have to go sit in a room full of other scared freshman and listen to a bunch of teachers and older students chat about how to survive college.


So, I've decided I'm going to give my speech to the NFL newbies right here, right now. Because I'm positive the NFL is totally going to pick up this post and hire me as their new NFL orientation speaker. Duh.


Hey guys. How's it going? Pretty good, I assume, you all just signed some pretty awesome pieces of paper and I bet you're all feeling pretty damn good right about now, and not just because you're now guaranteed to get laid pretty much whenever any of you please. 

You guys are about to make money, lots and lots, and lots more, of money. You're going to be able to do just about anything, and anyone, you want to do and that's just spectacular. We're all so very happy for you and excited for you all to embark on this fun filled new journey. Really, we are. 

Let's all just remember that sometimes, there's some things that even Peyton Manning's bank account can't bail you out of. Like murder, for instance. Guys, you're going to have some strange seeds coming out of the woodworks who want to be part of your posse and those strange seeds are probably going to have some pretty stupid ideas. Don't give in to those stupid ideas, your futures are brighter than the yellow in the Oregon jerseys. 

If you so feel the need to "be strapped", how about we just stick to maybe one hand gun and a few bullets? We really, really don't need automatic weapons or any other heavy duty assault weapons. It just isn't necessary, unless you're up to no good... which none of you are going to be. Right? RIGHT. 

Which reminds me, let's all say the following 3 times in a row: Hugs not drugs. Hugs not drugs. Hugs not drugs.

Because remember, you can get all of the strange ass you want now. You're going to be beating them away with a stick... but please don't actually beat them, that's also not good for anyone's reputation. 

Don't let me down guys, you've got this. Congrats to you all again.
Hugs not drugs! Smooches and toodles to all of ya. 



And to end this, let's #backthatazzup.

It's #backthatazzup Friday!

The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.

The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.

The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!

Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!

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Oh oh. PS I just realized I can link up with SARAH this week!!

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"Calibration"

Thursday 27 June 2013

"Calibration"

If I needed a quick fix,
I wouldn't be here right now.
Fight now.
Pull rank after you drank
Much more than you could handle.
Handle pans with shaky hands
And be sure to praise the same God
That you will curse for your condition.
Affliction self imposed.
Stairwells and curled toes.
The industry is your excuse
And funding your only motive.
So fundamental.
Elementary, my dear.
Tears dried upon request
After clutching the broad chest
Of a bevy of clientele.
Buying what you sell,
they make steady rotation
of what some say runs the nation.
Patron behind the scenes
With souvenir stained jeans.
Blotches where stone washed
But never washed away.

At least not today.

If I had the time,
I'd spend a few dimes.
Short change simple and plain
For a tighter set of chains.
Passed on the chance to gain
To make room for the pain.
Never heard a safe word;
So here you go again.
Rinsed under the rain
Then ran away from the sun;
Acting as if it was fun
Until gunned down.
Spun around to fade away.
Way too many jump shots
Will ensure the foul is flagrant
And that's charity plus possession.
Nine tenths in court
And you'll get no support.
No need to argue the call
When you turn over the ball.

And now you start to bawl.

If it really never mattered,
My opinion would be shattered.
What one shapes would be splattered;
Smeared across from your indifference
Upon the first blink
and the next breath.
The next step would involve resolve;
But that's above expectation:
The one thing you truly covet
But never seem to reach the summit on.
Dawn will expose
Every time you smite your nose.
Before dusk, you'll chase
Every iota of grace granted in pity.
Privy to objection
But more at home with complacency,
Casualty of what the latent see
As a means of satiation.
Until commencement of cremation
Or the pallbearers and coffin,
quite often
You will frequent this destination.
Circumstance will have his slave.
You will enlist yourself as knave
And cry out to be saved
When you are bound to misbehave.

Save face for the gullible faction.
Your traction and turbulence is earned.
From what you have learned,
gravity will test you often;
Bogged down with a frown,
plastic crown and messy face.
Shining beacon of taste
With so much promise misplaced.
Sulked in despair, choices line your hair
With an intricate display:
Clusters of dismay intertwined
like vines in disarray,
The haphazard hodgepodge lodged
Deep within strands that meet the chin
And a slight grin to pull it all together.
Ties severed you keep in your lap
To overlap the missing gap
Just to remain in contention
But you can't conceal suspension.
Life holds unlimited retention
But only you can break the straps. †

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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Tired of Labels

Your child is born with an extra chromosome and receives a diagnosis of Down syndrome, or Trisomy 21.

You enter the school system, and usually around the ripe old age of 5 years, the school wants to do testing and evaluation on your child. This testing includes an I.Q. test. At 5 years old. Yet kids with no disabilities, or special needs, or risk of a developmental delay enter Kindergarten without having their I.Q. tested and being labeled.

Your child is given an I.Q. score and labeled with mental r*tardation (MR) and further labeled within the mild, moderate, or severe range.

Times change and the label of MR changes to mental or intellectual disability, but there are still ranges to attach to that label, to give more of a label.

Then you might live in a state where the school districts place your child in one of three - what they term - programs. (i.e. self-contained classrooms.)

But it can't be labeled just a plain old self-contained, or special education classroom. No, the classroom has to be broken down with labels, too.

The 3 types of programs are based on where your child's I.Q. score falls. The classrooms are called Educable Mentally Delayed (EMD), Trainable Mentally Delayed (TMD), and Profound Mentally Delayed (PMD). If the classrooms are labeled as such what does it say for the students inside those classrooms? Can you imagine your child being labeled as "trainable"? Aren't animals considered trainable? And why "educable"? Why aren't the general education classrooms labeled as "educable"? Aren't all students "educable"? Isn't that why we send our children to schools - to get an education?

At some level, maybe state, they have changed the labels of these classrooms to be "Mild, Moderate, and Severe". Yet everyone still refers to them as "EMD, TMD, PMD" rooms.

If your child doesn't have enough labels yet, society wants to label them on their level of functioning.

They will ask if your child is "high-functioning." I think "High-Functioning Autism" is a diagnosis now. If not official it is at least an acceptable label as I've seen "HFA" in articles.

I've heard mention of high-functioning and low-functioning, but I've never heard of anyone say someone is middle-functioning. Why not? Can't you be in the middle of high- and low-functioning? Why do you have to be either one or the other?

How come people without disabilities or special needs aren't labeled as high- or low-functioning? Isn't there a range of skills amongst that population as well?

Who determines what is high- and low-functioning anyway? What if you're in a wheelchair but have average intelligence? What level of functioning are you then if you have low mobility?

What if you have below-average intelligence but are physically capable of so much, or are gifted in some area of the arts? What level of functioning are you?

What if you have above-average intelligence but have no common sense or people skills? What level of functioning are you?
 
In this blog post I mentioned how the reporter said, "Garrett (a young man) is very highly functioning for someone with Down syndrome. He reads at the 3rd grade level and has the cognitive ability of an 8 or 9 year old."

"Very highly functioning for someone with Down syndrome." Really? What makes him so high-functioning if he has the cognitive ability of an 8 or 9 year old? What made the reporter say that? And what relevance did it have to the story? What if there are plenty of young adults with Down syndrome who have a cognitive ability older than an 8 or 9 year old? What if his same-age peers with Down syndrome have accomplished more than he has in terms of schooling or independence ... does it make them very, very highly-functioning? Did this reporter have such a low expectations or preconceived notions about people with Down syndrome that he came away with his interactions with Garrett so impressed that he felt the need to label him 'very highly-functioning'?

I've been asked in the past, or had comments made to me, about Kayla being 'high-functioning.' I don't know if she is or not. Based on what? Her I.Q. score? Compared to what? Compared to her typical same-age peers? She does a lot of things they do, but there are a lot of things she doesn't do. Compared to same-age peers who have Down syndrome? Again, she can do things that other kids with Down syndrome her age can't do, and they are able to do things she can't do. There is a wide variety of skills and abilities amongst the Down syndrome population just as there is in the typical population.

Kayla isn't high- or low-functioning. She functions period. She does what she is capable and able to do; sometimes with supports, accommodations and modifications, and sometimes without any supports.

Why do people with disabilities have to continuously be labeled and have label upon label stacked upon their shoulders? Can't they just be? Can't they just exist as is without having to fit in to boxes and labels?

 

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Stored forever in the depths of the interwebz.

Holy bananers, it's already Thursday... and I usually never feel that way but can I get an amen? Amen.

Today I've got to talk about something that sort of came up over a little G-chatting with one of my favorite sarcastic, blunt, bitches, Brin, who enjoys going through my old entries and mocking my baby posts from when I wasn't quite comfy with this whole thing. It's cool though, if anyone is going to mock me, I'll take it from her.

So, last night I went out on a date.
First one I've been on in a hot, hot minute. Probably since, oh, December? To say I'm rusty would be a vast understatement. Luckily, I didn't fall on my face or die from awkward silence. And that's all I'll report here on that...


Anyways, the point of today's post is to chat a little about some things you should probably try and leave out of your blog. Mainly, men.

Single ladies, ladies in new relationships, etc. etc. etc... take my word for this, leave your possible prospects out of le blog. Unless that shit is real serious, or unless you don't mind taking a trip down failed memory lane, you gotta leave the dudes out of your posts.

I didn't listen to such advice back when I started this blog and now I get the pleasure of seeing my ex's mug here on occasion, as well as anyone (um, Brin) who decides to get click happy around here. There's nothing fun about that, nothing at all. And it's not like I can just go back and delete eleventy posts, that would make for a sad unicorn. Though I wont act like I haven't considered going back and changing whatever it was that I was calling him in any given post to something like "douchelord" or "assface". I figured that would probably confuse new readers though, so I refrained.

I mean, we already know how I feel about telling people in the real world about this interwebz hangout, but what happens if/when I do start seeing someone and what if it gets all cereal serious and stuff, and I'm forced to reveal my double life? "Oh hey, check out all of these posts talking about things I did with my ex." Can I get an awkward?!

That's the thing about being a blogger, other people just have stories in their heads and maybe a few photo albums on Facebook that can easily be deleted or hidden. Us bloggers have all of our stories out there, written in ink, stored forever in the depths of the interwebz. We can easily be found if someone searches hard enough and with one click our lives and stories are revealed for anyone to read. Obviously this is something we choose to do, we enjoy doing it, I just think it's pretty easy to forget exactly how permanent it can be.

I guess my point is, don't let those giddy, new emotions fog your brain.
Well, unless you don't care about seeing his face pop up under the "you may also like:" section of your blog for months and years after you decided to end things. Personally, I'm not much of a fan. Maybe that's just me though.


I'm off to find the best #backthatazzup jam for tomorrow. You should too.
"I totally regret linking up for #backthatazzup Friday", said no one ever.

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It's All in the Stars

Wednesday 26 June 2013

Shit's about to get weird here today. 

Real weird.

Actually, I almost tweeted this yesterday and then I realized that I'm really freaking insane and if I was going to put such a thing out there, it needed to be here and it needed to be explained in way more than 140 characters so that I have a slim chance at looking maybe, possibly, just slightly a little less insane. 

(Proof reading this post right now... nope, no way does this even attempt to make me look less insane. I'm never going to get a date again, basically.)

Here's the thing, blog. I have a little obsession with horoscopes, and by little I mean that I check my horoscope on multiple websites every single morning and pretty much relate much of my life to the stars. And I'm not talking about the kind that walk on a red carpet.

Oh, I'm a leo, by the way. Here's what the stars have to say about me:

Dead on, by the way. I'm by far the epitome of a leo, as far as characteristics and traits go.

Typically my daily horoscope is dead on as well, in addition to just about anything I've ever read and researched about my star sign.

I'm procrastinating from my confession, by the way. You know, the one I mentioned I wanted to tweet? Yeah, alright, here it goes...

A lot of my friends turn to Google when they meet a guy, to dig up the dirt on them and find any and all incriminating photos of their potential new love interest. Me? Well, I turn to the stars. Once I get that Facebook friend request, I instantly click that "about" tab and find the birthday of said guy, then I run my happy ass to my favorite horoscope pages and research all I can to decipher what I could possibly be getting myself into. 

Bat shit cray, I know. 

Hear me out though, I've done the star sign research on a couple of guys I've dated in the past and, basically, if I would have done said research before I put in the time with them I would have understood why they are the way they are much earlier in the game. Obviously it's not always accurate for everyone, I've had a few strange seeds in my past that don't really fit the bill on many characteristics, but I chalk that up to them just being strange seeds. 

So, yeah, basically you all can just go ahead and slap the crazy sticker on my back today. It's cool, I know I'm slightly a freak. Or really a freak. I think we all already knew that though. 

I should probably go now before I get too deep into this and make myself look even more nutty.

See ya on the flip side.

Spay and neuter your pets.

Go check your horoscope.

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Poof! Be gone.

Tuesday 25 June 2013

If you're new here, or never read (like, ever), you may be unaware that I am single. Being single is actually something I've been enjoying for the first time in my life, as opposed to searching for my next future ex-boyfriend every night I go out. Alas, finally, I'm getting the hang of this single thing and it's definitely fun for me at this point.

One of the down sides to the single thing is creepers, as I've admitted in the past. For me, I think I come across them more often because I go out pretty often and seemingly the creepers are always out and on the prowl. Also, I don't think many, if any, of these creepers actually care whether you're entirely single or have a ring on your finger. You know, just for the record.

Low and behold, you don't even have to go out and be social to come across said creepers. Come to find out they can find you anywhere, like Facebook chat for instance.

Guys, real life, this happened last week. I went to high school with this idiot and haven't seen or heard from him in a solid 5 years, at the very least. 

What inda actual FUQ?

Sure dude, 2:30 am? Definitely come get me in that new car of yours. Because that's exactly what gets me interested, your new car. Oh wait, no, never mind. Not happening, bro. Be gone.

Of course now, in typical fashion, all of my whitty comebacks are starting to surface and I can't help but to at least write them somewhere. Where better than here, obviously? 

Instead of ignoring sir creeps-a-lot like I did, here's some things I should have done:

Solid and to the point -

Shame the game - 

Pull the sleeper on him -

Play the blonde card - 

And if all of those failed, I should have just thrown NeNe Leakes on his ass - 

I don't doubt this will be my last creep encounter, so now that I've got myself a few notes stored away, stay tuned.

I'm off to dodge the creepers and get this Tuesday show on the road.
Here's to hoping it goes faster than yesterday.

*insert NeNe gif from above here*

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"Among Some"

"Among Some"

The new day will come.
At least that's what premonition tells me.
Memory serves with consistency.
Consistently,
I have observed your trials.
Choked down like vials
filled to the brim with poison,
You retch as you absorb them.
Them?
They that harbor your ill fortune.
Your bewildered flux in motion
A direct result of your devotion.
Stalwart dedication.
Inward excavation.
Strong enough to lead whole nations;
But too hollow to remain stationed.

Abandoned your sense of whimsy
For musings of the stern.
You've calibrated your focus;
But what have you really learned?
Earned your place among the counsel
Yet salvation still eludes you.
What of the prestigious structure
If it only stands to groom you?
Void the soul in firm control
Of that which holds no purpose.
Law and rule issued by tools
That fortify this hapless circus

But the new day will come.

Just beyond it all
lies the path on which some fall
Because they were not ready.
Steady hands mark balance.
Challenged are the victors
for they know they can deliver.
The ignorant are driven crazy.
They can't shake feeling lazy
But ambition has a slew of definitions.
For the many privy to free will,
Many fall to self imposed constriction.
Their complaints become their contradiction

But the new day will present itself.

How much help after it hurts?
Enough to wash away the dirt
And display one's rugged face
In the full allotment of grace?
Pray away what is displaced.
Eviscerate it all.
Each shard.
Every trace.
Run away.
Remain misplaced.
Then rue for all that will ensue
As if they need that bitter taste.
From our pasts we are flung
To clasp against life's rungs;
But some fall among the latter
That will not reach for the ladder.
They absorb all of the chatter;
Making grand what shouldn't matter;
Standing still where they are shunned
Before reaching for the gun.

But the new day……………………
…………………………………………
…………………………………………
……the new day knows nothing of requiem. †

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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Dream Catchin and Stuff

Monday 24 June 2013

I wasn't sure I was going to make it around here today, not because I'm hungover (shocker, I know) but because work has been crazy nuts today. Alas, I decided to dedicate my lunch break to banging out a post here. You're welcome.

This weekend was spent around great company, as per usual. Friday night I had girls night with two of my besties at Buca di Beppo and I stuffed myself full of more chicken parmesan and stuffed shells than anyone should probably ever consume before a night out. Oops.

Saturday morning we got up pretty early, for us at least, and headed to the island for some fun in the sun. I got to wear my new party shades inspired by no other than my girl crush, Sarah.

We stuck around the island until about 3 and then headed back home to get ready for the Orlando City soccer game which I have zero photos of. You're welcome, times two.

I wasn't exactly aware until this weekend but soccer games are a complete shit show. Who knew? I didn't... Well, until Saturday night. I am now well aware and I dealt with the aftermath all day yesterday.

And by aftermath I mean hangover, if you are unclear.
So, I spent the majority of yesterday trying to finally decorate my bedroom, which has had completely bare walls since I moved in... in October. I know, it's really bad.

In addition to getting this new printable printed and framed, I also picked up some fancy scrapbook paper to frame. I know, I know, my Pinterest is showing. Ooops.

Lastly, I've been dying for a girly-ish dreamcatcher for a hella long time but haven't had much luck finding one that I really love, so I decided yesterday was the perfect opportunity to get my ass in gear and finally make myself one.

After gathering what seemed like a billion different materials, here's what I ended up with:

 I'm pretty happy with it!

And really, that's all I've got for you today. I got way too much sleep last night and all I can think about is my 5 o'clock glass of wine and whatever else trouble I choose to get myself into this Monday evening.

I'm off to go dream about next week and the 4-day weekend my boss just decided to let me know I'll be getting, which is going to make this week seem like a damn marathon, I'm assuming.

Focker out.

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Conversations With Lucas, Part III

Lucas, "Can I have some crackers?"
Me, "No, you just had bread."
L, "What does that have to do with it?"

Lucas said he wished he was a girl. When I asked why he said that girls do more fun things (couldn't give me an example though). Then he said boys get in trouble.
I said, "If you don't do things you shouldn't be doing you wouldn't get in trouble."
L, "That's just the way we're made."
Me, "What do you mean?"
Lucas, "That's the way God made us."

Kayla was upset that we were going back home after spending some time at the Children's Museum. Joe said we were going to "emoh." (Home spelled backwards). The kids started asking questions about what they could do there. We said there were books, dress-up, puzzles, toys etc. there. They were getting excited. Then Lucas said "I think we're going home. You're just saying all that to try and make Kayla happy."

Lucas slept in one morning; I asked why he slept so late. He said he didn't know, but he was opening and closing his eyes and opening and closing them till he went back to sleep. "Maybe I was in the middle of a dream and didn't want to wake all the way up. Cause if I woke up and went to sleep again at night the dream might not be there again.'

Told Lucas we were going to book fair at Kayla's school and he could bring money from his piggy bank. He said he didn't want to bring any of his money; when I asked why he said he was saving it to buy a car and a house.

Playing with scavenger hunt cards while we were driving. Lucas had to look for a person riding a bike, he called out he saw a bike. Since we were on the highway I asked where and he said, "On that sign!" I told him that was good thinking outside of the box. He asked, "Thinking outside what box? where is the box?"

"I actually want to tell you something, but I actually can't explain it because I don't think you'll get it."

Upon returning home from the store Lucas greets me with, "Look Mom!"
I say, "Oh you're silly...wearing your shoes w/your pajamas."
Lucas, "NO! I TIED my own shoes!" (Can we slow down with the growing up already!?)

"Where is the Table of Continents" in this book?

"I want to see Jesus one day."
Me, "Well, if you believe in Jesus in your heart, when you die you'll go to Heaven and see Him."
L, "I said I want to see him one day. One day means when you're still alive. When you're in Heaven you go to sleep and it's forever."

Lucas tells me that after tying his shoes he wants to go to the stairs before we leave because he wants to ask God something. He comes back to me and says, "I couldn't hear God say anything to me."
Me, "Well sometimes we don't hear God right away, and sometimes he answers us later by the things that happen - we just might not hear his voice directly speaking to us."
Lucas, "Well I need an answer right now!"
Me, "Why? What did you ask God?"
Lucas, "If I could be Flash Gordon."
Me, "How come you want to be Flash Gordon right now?"
Lucas, "Because he's fast and I think he's faster than cars and then we won't be late."

Hearing the mail truck Lucas says, "I wonder if God sent me a letter today."
Me, "I don't think there are post offices in Heaven that can send mail here."
Lucas, "Well God can just come down here to use the post office."

I was driving home with just Lucas and had something on my mind. He was chattering away and asked me something. I responded and then asked him something. He said, "I already told you that! Weren't you listening to me when I was talking about it?"
Realizing I had been caught I sighed and said the only thing I could say, "I'm sorry. I was distracted with something on my mind and wasn't paying attention to what you said."
Lucas, "Well can you pay attention to the road?"
Me, laughing, "I AM paying attention to the road while I'm driving. I promise you that."
Lucas, "At least I made you laugh!"

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What's a baloney bin?

Sunday 23 June 2013

Happy Sunday, my friends!! Today I have someone taking over here whose blog thoroughly makes me giggle out loud. Homegirl is witty and sarcastic, just how I like it.

Don't take my word for it though, check out Sarah from The Baloney Bin!

1. First thing's first, you have a very unique blog name. Tell me what inspired it!

Baloney is a slang term for nonsense, and I consider the Baloney Bin to be a receptacle for silliness. I write about my life, and while I find life to be beautiful, strange, scary, and heartbreaking, I also find life to be wonderfully absurd. Like those moments when you find yourself sitting in a stall in a public bathroom and really having to go #2 but you do everything in your power to hold it in because you don’t want others to hear you #2-ing.  I’m not the only one who does that, right?
Or when you wake up with no plans on a lovely sunny morning and so you spend an indeterminate amount of time gazing out of your second-floor bedroom window, just daydreaming away…until you notice that your neighbor’s kid is running around the yard naked and it looks like you’ve been standing there staring at the kid like a creepy perv for the past five minutes.
My blog name came about because I am delighted by zaniness. Also, I have a grudging fondness for bologna, the meat. 

2. What's one of your favorite posts you've written and why?

My favorite post is Sweet Valley High: The McCalls Move to Town.[LINK: http://baloneybin.com/?p=669] I wrote it after discovering that I am more like the fictitious Wakefield twins than I ever dreamed. My nerdy 12-year-old self, with the giant pink glasses and frizzy hair, would do a poorly-executed cartwheel of joy to know that one day she was going to have things in common with her literary heroines.  Even if you've never read the Sweet Valley High books, I think you’ll like this post. 

3. If you could be a Seamonkeyologist like you've mentioned you'd like to be, what would your job consist of? Explain these monkeys of the sea to me, please! 

First of all, I absolutely love this question!  Whitney, let me tell you, when you purchase/adopt Sea Monkeys, they offer you a mail-in Seamonkeyologist degree. For $16.00 plus tax, you get the diploma and title. I’m pretty sure my job would be to wear a white lab coat and do highly scientific studies on Sea Monkey behavior. I’d publish my findings in the academic journal Sea Monkey Digest.
Unfortunately, my career plans are on hold because I don’t want to shell out the $16.00. Gah, higher education is so expensive!

4. What are some of the street smarts, life lessons you'd like to install in your husband, Brent. Top 4, ready, go. 

Back story: one day I asked Brent if he thought he had more street smarts than me. He scoffed and said, “Of course I do.” I beg to differ. Here are the top four lessons I could teach him:
1) Real men watch the Gilmore Girls. He’ll find that out when he tries to join a street gang and they reject him because he fails the most important interview question: “Name your favorite Gilmore Girls season and give supporting evidence.”
2) A White Russian does not consist of soy milk and rum.
3) Lake monsters do not really exist. It is perfectly safe to swim in a lake. Except if you are this lady whose kids I used to babysit – she was wading in a lake and stepped into a dead cow.
4)  He needs to learn how to break dance and that we should take lessons together. How could would that be?

5. What made you get in to this blogging thing?

I started about a year and a half ago and was inspired by all the stunning blogs out there. Young House Love comes to mind. Blogs with gorgeous layouts, amazing photography, and interesting content. I wanted a blog like that! 
At the same time, I knew I wanted to focus on writing. I have a full-time day job, but I was, and still am, working on a book (aren’t we all!) and feeling burnt out. I’m a slow writer; the type who can spend two hours on a paragraph and was hoping that the medium of blogging would allow me to write short, fun pieces and get me out of my writing rut. It did that, and introduced a sense of purpose and satisfaction that I'd never experienced before. Best of all, I've met some really cool people online through blogging. I love it. My imperfect little blog is far from the gorgeous website I envisioned, but it is a work in progress, and I'm really glad I started!



Go check out Sarah's blog and say hello!

BlogLovin

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Some Things & #backthatazzup

Friday 21 June 2013

Yesterday I finally took the plunge and got my hairz did. It's been a hot minute since these roots have gotten to bathe in bleach which means I'm feeling like a new woman today.

Exhibit A:

Dress: Sugar Love Boutique (most comfortable and flattering dress ever, PS)

If only the humidity in Florida right now wasn't making it nearly impossible for me to actually leave my hair down. I ended up resembling Diana Ross after this morning's walk with the dogs. Cute.

I managed to avoid purchasing any magical hair washing unicorns and I managed to not avoid taking down 3 glasses of wine. Unfortunately I had a serious first world problem yesterday when I went to the gas station to pick up my norm hair appointment essentials, aka Chardonnay, and the damn place didn't have any Chardonnay. DAFUQ? I had to settle with Pinot Grigio which, if I'm being totally honest here, wasn't so bad.


In other news, Kimye named their kid North and I'm just beside myself. Do I laugh it off and give them props for their witty sense of humor or feel horribly bad for this kid who will forever be known by a direction on a compass? I just don't know. Here's to hoping the kid has a better cry face than her mama...

Yikes.


Oh and if you live under a rock, I suppose you are unaware that Vine was put to rest yesterday when Instagram released the update of their app which now has a video option. Yep, sucks to be the dude sitting high and proud over in the Vine offices, thinking he's got it made. Might wanna bust out the Ramen, pal.

And now it's time for #backthatazzup... AKA arguably the best day of the week. Not that I'm biased or anything.

This week's song is brought to you by my homegirl Miley. I don't really want to chat about the music video that was released to this song... aside from saying that I want the shades she's wearing in it. Other than that, let's just not discuss. She's still my bestie, duh.

Gimme demz!

It's #backthatazzup Friday!

The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.

The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.

The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!

Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!

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Rehearsal and Performance

Thursday 20 June 2013

I am so proud of Kayla. So proud of her during rehearsals and during the Snow White play - wardrobe malfunction and all.

I had no idea what to expect out of this whole experience. I had no idea what to expect from Kayla. Rehearsing for a play was new for both of us. It was a whirlwind week ... but so fun!

Rehearsals on Tue and Wed were 2 hrs. Rehearsal on Thur was 4 hrs with 1/2 hr snack break. On Fri they were there for 4 hrs with a 1/2 snack break and then immediately performed the play. They were there from 2:30 until 7:45: whew!

I was the only parent who stayed for the rehearsals. Everyone else dropped their kids off and left. Yes, I can be a bit of a 'helicopter mom' at times. As I said, we've never done this before so I didn't know what to expect from Kayla.This was a new environment and new adults and kids that she would be with. Several questions went through my mind.

Would she listen and pay attention?
Would she follow directions?
Would she be impulsive and run around instead of sitting still?
Would she focus?
Would she talk and disrupt?
What would she do during the times her group wasn't actively involved in rehearsals (when they weren't on stage).
Would she get bored and decide to wander off?

I have to say - she blew my fears out of the water.

Not to say that my fears weren't valid. Case in point: This week she is at Vacation Bible School. On the 2nd day she told me she ran away and they chased her. Yes, one of the adults confirmed her story. Another volunteer took her to the bathroom and then she bolted. Ran for the steps and went up the balcony in the sanctuary and hid. Testing boundaries? I have no idea; she's not usually such a runner anymore.

So I stayed throughout most of the rehearsals to keep an eye on her and intercede if I needed to. Which I didn't. The 2nd day I went out of the gym where they were rehearsing and sat in the lounge area. She only opened the door once with Kelly running after her telling her that her mother was sitting right out there. Kayla only wanted her water though; she didn't realize I had left her bottle inside.

During their 4-hr rehearsal on the third day I waited until after they had their snack break before I went to get myself something to eat. She had been doing so well sitting in the theater all that time. Most of the time it wasn't her group's turn to rehearse so they had to sit in the theater chairs quietly watching ... and waiting ... and waiting. She did so great. She stayed in her seat. She was quiet. She was captivated by the acting going on on the stage.

Just one little snag when I left to get something to eat and came back to find her still sitting in the seat when her group was on stage rehearsing. When I asked why she wasn't up there I was told because she wanted to be on stage sitting next to Snow White. Sigh ...

She re-enacted scenes at home. She quoted other characters' lines. Seriously, I was surprised when we were driving home and, unprompted, she said the turtle's line, "What's the hurry? Wait for me?" (Pause) and then continued on, "Slow and steady wins the race." And she remembered every word.

She learned her cues, and hand motions, and the group song.

During the performance she had a wardrobe malfunction. The frog foot came off her shoe. I was so proud of her for staying in character and continuing on with the scene instead of getting up and going to find someone to fix it (which I can imagine her doing). She didn't yell out that the foot came off, she didn't yell out that she needed help. She just held it up so we could see that it came off.

And I admit it took every bit of this 'helicopter mom' to keep my butt in my seat! Because I wanted to help. I wanted to quietly walk up to the front of that stage and fix the foot for her...because I wanted to make sure she stayed seated. We hadn't talked about what to do in a situation like that. But somehow, she just knew. She knew to remain seated with her cast mates.

She took off the huge frog gloves and attempted to fix it herself. It came off again, the second time she was on stage. Thankfully, the last time she was on stage she was without the frog feet so they wouldn't have to distract her anymore.

Here is Kayla's first acting gig:

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

And with a clearer picture, here she is during the group song. She doesn't take after me as I would lip-synch! She's a bit off in her timing, but she did it. And if you listen closely you can hear Kayla's voice singing. Singing along like everyone else. So proud of her.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

I have a feeling there will be more plays in her future!

 

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My Bloglovin Conspiracy Theory

So, unless you aren't an avid blogger and/or blog reader, or if you live under a rock, you may not have heard that Google Reader is getting the boot from the interwebz.

What is Google Reader? The hell if I know but as soon as this shit surfaced everyone and their mom was shoving their Bloglovin link down everyone's throats, proclaiming it is the only way to really stay connected with said blog.

And then my GFC number started dropping (gasp) and shit got real.

Well, here's the deal. I'm convinced this whole thing is a total conspiracy.
My theory? Someone behind Bloglovin is responsible for Google Reader's demise because never in my blogging life have I seen so many people harp on something so much. The tweets, the Facebook spam, the posts. People have lost their shit over this and are convinced that GFC is now going away. Which it's not, by the way. So really, it's just this thing that most of us never utilized to begin with that is making everyone all nuts.

Just look, if you go to Bloglovin right now there's a big old, bright blue notification to get everyone to switch their readers over...

Way to go, Bloglovin. Someone, somewhere, paid someone off to bring Google Reader to dust, I just know it. Solid scheme you've got going on here, Bloglovin, but I'm on to you. Can't get much passed this girl, no you can not.


Here's the thing, I've never used any type of reader to read blogs. Ever.
Sorry if that bursts a few bubbles but it's the truth. My current "unread" count on Bloglovin is over 2,000, if we're being honest here. I just can't get in to using a reader, and I've tried, I really have but that's just not my style, I suppose.

The truth of it is, some days I only get around to reading a handful of blogs and those are the blogs that stand out in my head not on a reader. They're the blogs that stay fresh in my head because the content draws me to them. I want to type their link in my browser and read what they've written for the day.

And because I'm a visual learner and like a good example, let me take a moment to explain to you how Whitney Reader works...

Exhibit A: This Chick

Can't even get enough of her. If I only read 5 blogs in one day, her's has to be one of them because I know I'm going to be entertained. It was only recently that I really got addicted to her blog but I'm hooked harder than a fish on a line now and I can't get enough. So much so that I actually sat down and went through about 50 of her old posts the other day just because her content is so. spot. on.

I'm pretty sure I found Sarah somewhere on the Twitz, probably being retweeted for one of her brilliant posts. Either way, Whitney Reader finds a lot of new blogging obsessions through Twitter. 

The other way Whitney Reader works is by having a blog roll on my sidebar...

Exhibit B:

When I find blogs that I get hooked on, I add them to my blog roll to remind me to visit them. It works for me and makes me feel organized on days when I've got time to do a lot of reading. Plus, it's fun to show love to some of my favorites! I've found so many kick ass blogs from other people's blog rolls so I like to think that maybe some of my new readers will get click happy and click on over to some of my buds.

If you know me at all, you know how important I think blog rolls can be. I feel like they're kind of like a you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours kind of thing... funny thing about my back... Jay kay. Really though, when I see my blog on someone else's blog roll, it absolutely makes my day. And I realize that sentence probably makes me sound like a real loser but it is what it is.

Do I follow people on GFC and Bloglovin? Of course and I'll never stop. I will always show my support for bloggers I love and obviously I am forever appreciative for those who add me to their readers as well. As much as we all say "oh, it's just a number", I think we all know it's nice to see that number rise and so I will never stop showing my support in that fashion. Yaheard?

Anywhoodles, that's my Bloglovin conspiracy theory and also the Whitney Reader explanation. You know, because I know all of you were curious. Or something.

I think I'm done rambling for the day.
Over and out.

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Skyrockets in Flight (woooh)

Wednesday 19 June 2013

Can we talk about the Fourth of July for a second?

Yes yes, I know it's the day of independence and I'm absolutely thankful for the freedom I have being an American, but with that awesome freedom comes some pretty great times. 

Fourth of July might just be one of my very favorite holidays, mainly because of the memories I have to relate to it. My first few years out of high school, the fourth was a time when I got to see all of my friends who had moved away to college. We'd all come back in town, pack up our cars, and head to the beach to witness one of the most epic fireworks shows put on by one of our friends whose dad was in demolition.

These shows always got a little tricky because the boys would be the ones lighting the whatever-it-is-you-light to make the fireworks go BOOM and they always lit them with cigars. Safe, I know. Well, one year, one of the morons guys put the whatever-it-is-you-light in the tube upside down and it almost took out the whole crowd. You've never seen a group of barely 20 year old's run so fast in your life until you've seen a firework ignite and rocket right at them as they're casually chilling on a sea wall.  

Keep in mind, these fireworks are highly illegal for personal use here in the sunshine state and, well, it was also quite the adventure when the beach patrol would come chasing after the boys to confiscate said illegal fireworks. I hang with many law abiding citizens, clearly. Pretty sure we already knew that though.

Fun fact: I once chipped a tooth on a beer bottle one of those summers on Fourth of July. Sand + clumsy and partially drunk Whit + glass beer bottle = bad combination. For the record. Luckily I didn't eff up my tooth too bad and I'm still hanging with the evidence, which is a little chip on the back of one of my top teeth. 

Ooops.

Awesomely festive tank via The Shine Project

Fourth of July is also one of my favorites because there's usually hot dogs on the grill, cold beer in the coolers, and lifelong friends all continuing to add memories to our never ending mental scrapbooks. That combination alone is truly one of my absolute favorites and one of the reasons I always look forward to this holiday.

Getting a day or two off of work isn't so bad either... 

And don't give me the hot dog schpeal, it'll never change my pure adoration for said concoction. 

This year? Well, this year I'm hoping to continue some of my most favorite traditions... sans chipping any teeth or taking cover from angry fireworks that haven't been properly lit. 

Hot dogs on the grill, ice cold brews, great company and memories I'll never forget. 

Dammit, I love 'Merricaaa and I love celebrating it.

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Blog Advice Giveaway!

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Heyyooo. Today I've got something really friggen cool for those of you who do blog and it's actually being brought to you by my genius bestie, Erin.

You all know I'm not exactly the biggest fan of huge giveaways and I rarely participate in them but I couldn't pass this one up, and not because it's my bestie's idea, but because it's actually an amazing opportunity for bloggers!

Have you been looking for blog advice but don't know where exactly you should be looking?

Are you a brand new blogger just starting out and find yourself needing some guidance?

Has blogging been a part of your life for a while but you'd like a little help in where to turn to next?

Do you simply just want to grow your blog?

Well then you've come to the right place my friend because this giveaway has your name written all over it!

Erin rounded up a group of ladies who have been around the ballpark a time or two when it comes to blogging in order to put this one of a kind giveaway together. We all have some tips, tricks, advice, and guidance that we'd love to shell out in order to help you grow into the best blogger you can be. Whether this be through a Skype session, a back and forth email exchange, a blog critique, a Q&A session, a phone call, a personal jet to pick you up for a private meeting, etc - we're covering all the bases.

All you need to do to enter is check out the participating bloggers, see what awesome package they're offering as a prize, and get to entering the Rafflecopter. And the best part about this giveaway?

THERE WILL BE FIVE WINNERS!

Each randomly selected winner will be paired up with three of the participating bloggers as well as with Erin.

Therefore each winner will receive four separate blog advice prizes! We're splitting up the prizes so that one winner isn't bombarded with sixteen different sets of opinions and sixteen different sets of ideas on advice. Because that might get a little chaotic and like they say..."nobody got time for that".

Are you excited? We hope so because we certainly are! Let's get this thing started shall we?

Without further adieu, here are the sixteen ladies who have teamed up to put together the "Blog Advice Giveaway".

Erin at Two Thirds Hazel

What you'll win: Each of the five winners will be able to email Erin at any point until the end of eternity (like farther than to infinity and beyond) to ask questions and seek advice.

Brandi at Mama Laughlin

Brandi is offering a phone call or email where you will receive tips from her

on how to grow your blog using the social media form of Pinterest.

You will receive a back and forth Q&A session with Ashley via email 

providing you with the answers you've been looking for on anything blog related.

Mandy at House of Rose

Your blog will be reviewed by Mandy (and her husband!) via recorded screen capture video 

and then they will offer tips on how you can improve. 

Check out an example of this one of a kind opportunity here.

Erin at Living In Yellow

Erin is offering a one hour blogging consultation (done via video chat or phone call)

which will provide you with Q&A, tips and advice.

Whitney at I Wore Yoga Pants

Whitney will provide you with a back and forth Q&A session

giving you the answers you've been looking for on anything blog related.

"Prefer the phone? Let's chat! What about a fun Skype session? Sure! 

Or a good ole email is fine by me too! 

Sky is the limit. Well, I guess in this case-technology is. 

I will take a thorough look at your blog and do my best to answer any questions!"

Raven at Don't Quote the Raven

You will receive a Q&A session via email. 

Anything you ask, Raven will answer...in detail!

Aunie at Aunie Sauce

You will receive a Q&A email session with advice catered to your blog

providing you with a ton of advice and numerous tips to help you grow.

Taylor will visit and review your blog, providing you with an email containing

advice customary to you and your blog.

Stephanie at Beautiful Mess

Receive a three-post editing session:

Pick three of your upcoming blog posts. Send your drafts to Stephanie for her to proofread, 

edit and make suggestions as to how you can easily make your writing more personable, 

appealing, humorous and overall, just more fun to read!

Shanna at Because Shanna Said So

Shanna will answer your top five questions whether this be anything from 

sponsorships, social media, tips to grow and/or how to monetize your blog.

Niki at Glossy Blonde

Two weeks of email consulting during which Niki will answer any questions 

you have about blogging and/or building your brand.

Chelsea at Olive and Ivy

An email with personalized advice and tips catered directly to your blog, 

or a Skype session, or a back and forth Q&A session, etc. Whichever you prefer! 

If you are unsure of what to ask a blog critique can also be given.

Jessica at Jessica Who

 With Jessica you will receive a Q&A session via unlimited emails.

Yes, you read that right...unlimited!

Michelle at The Vintage Apple

You will receive a back and forth Q&A session with Michelle via email 

providing you with the answers you've been looking for on anything blog related 

so that you have the knowledge and tools to grow.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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