Twitter Queen Status

Hi everyone!

While Whitney is out hanging with her BFF Erin, she asked me to hold down the fort for a little bit. Let me introduce myself, my name is Brittany. I write a lifestyle blog called Where My Soul Belongs. I'm a lawyer and moved to the Seattle area from Nevada about 9 months ago. The best thing I've found about the PNW is that if I have to confess that I have a blog, people actually know what it is and don't think I'm a loser. This came up recently when a friend followed me on Twitter, saw that I have over 11,000 tweets, and called me the Twitter Queen. (OBVIOUSLY he's never met Whitney!) I thought I'd take today to tell you how you too can reach Twitter Queen status. First: Pray for your friends.

@whitneyellen @twothirdshazel Dear Lord Jesus, Please bless Whitney & Erin's weekend together & let them not be hung over tmrw. Amen. /DONE
— Brittany (@Brittany_WMSB) June 7, 2013

People like being prayed for, from what I can tell. They also like to party like it's 1999 without being hung over. I didn't follow up to see if it worked, but it's the thought that counts, right? Second: Invite yourself to everything.

@mathewsbambina Is this a real question? YES.
— Brittany (@Brittany_WMSB) June 4, 2013

It doesn't matter where they live or what the event is. If there's wine involved, just invite yourself. It will be a good time. And if not, at least you'll have wine. ... of course, you won't actually be able to attend most of these events, but it's the thought that counts. Third: Call out your ex boyfriends when they do stupid things.

If ex boyfriends didn't want to be exes they should consider sending flowers BEFORE you break up. Just a thought. twitter.com/Brittany_WMSB/…
— Brittany (@Brittany_WMSB) June 6, 2013

You've all been there, right? The jerk stops paying attention to you while you're actually his girlfriend. Then you break up with him and suddenly he knows where to find the florist. A little too late, buster. Fourth: Retweet all the things. I retweet a lot. I went to a blogging conference on Saturday, so this number is inflated. But between Saturday morning and Sunday morning I hit RT 19 times. I'm just sharing the knowledge of those smarter and wiser and more interesting than I am. You're welcome. Fifth: Admit your weaknesses. People like royalty, and we'd love to have you in the Twitter Queen Club, but they don't like hearing about your perfect life all the time.

Bad day? Nothing that drowning yourself in Indian food buffet can't fix.
— Brittany (@Brittany_WMSB) June 6, 2013

Let your followers know that it's not all wine and BFFs and backing that azz up on Fridays. Sometimes, you just need to stuff your face at a buffet and hide your feelings under a pile of naan bread. Plus, maybe one of them will invite themselves and you won't have to be the fat kid eating buffet ice cream all by herself when the lunch hour is over. Fifth and a Half: Do it all over the period of three days.

And that's it! Easy peasy! Good luck out there. I look forward to having you in the Twitter Kingdom with Whitney and me!