Cypress Gardens

Tuesday 31 January 2012

We've had some beautiful weather here lately so we've been able to get out and about on the weekends. This past weekend we went to Cypress Gardens. Since it is technically 'winter' (I use that term lightly when talking about winter in SC) there wasn't much that was green or in bloom. I can imagine how beautiful it must look in the spring. It was still a beautiful day to explore and take a self-guided swamp boat adventure. Although I was pretty leery to do this considering the alligators!

 

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Teamwork?

Monday 30 January 2012

At only 3 (ok very close to being 4) years old Lucas seems to be quite the schemer already.

When he's watching TV he pretty much owns the loveseat. The whole thing. It's all his because he lies down on it with a throw pillow and blanket. He has claimed is spot ... all snuggled in and comfy. Most of the time he likes watching TV with his little whale.

The other day he had assumed the position on the loveseat and realized he didn't have his whale. He asked Kayla if she would go upstairs and get his whale for him. She said no. He asked again. She said no again. He pleaded in that sing-song way kids have of saying "pleeeeassseeee." She relented. As she often does because she's just an awesome big sister that way.

As she ran up the stairs Lucas said to me, "See mom? I was team-working!"

I told him that wasn't teamwork, it was him being lazy and not wanting to go upstairs so he asked Kayla to do it for him. He said, "Yeah, that's teamwork!"

Then today they were "organizing" (ie cleaning up) the playroom. I heard him say to Kayla, "Can you clean up cause my neck hurts?"

She said, "Ok." He responded, "Ok I need to get a drink of water."

Little stinker. He did come downstairs to get a drink of water and then went right back upstairs to help her finish up.

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Announcement (Megaupload Server Shutdown)

Megaupload, one of the internet's largest file-sharing sites, has been shut down by officials in the US.

Uploaded by MrKimDotcom on Dec 7, 2011
Read the unbelievable story about this video: http://bit.ly/rTa78D
Censored by UMG - Mega suing UMG - Reinstated by Youtube.
Here is the latest story from December 29th: http://bit.ly/vnBlGO
STOP SOPA - STOP PIPA - FIGHT FOR YOUR INTERNET.

Enjoy the Mega Song. We wish you all the best for 2012.
Thank you for using Megaupload.com.

Song produced by Kim Dotcom and Printz Board.
Vocals by Printz Board, Kim Dotcom and Macy Gray.

Thanks to:

Will.i.am
P Diddy
Kanye West
Chris Brown
Jamie Foxx
Kim Kardashian
Lil John
The Game
Floyd Mayweather
Serena Williams
Ciara.

You can find the HD 1920x816 version of this video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0Wvn-9BXVc

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More On Inclusion

Thursday 26 January 2012

A follow up to my post Inclusion vs Segregation.

The following video A Vision For Abby is from the Possibilities video series. The videos "focus on the lives and accomplishments of individuals with developmental and intellectual disabilities. ...Each video shows the myriad possibilities and options that all people have as they grow up, become independent, and pursue their life's dreams and goals." There are 4 videos, including one with a young girl with Down syndrome just starting out in school.

Meet Abby, a 21-yr old adult with Down syndrome and is an assistant in a preschool classroom. She was never placed in a special-education curriculum, and graduated in 2009.



Then there is this article, Inclusion: The Right Thing For All Students. It is written by Cheryl M. Jorgensen, Ph.D., a member of the affiliate faculty with the National Center on Inclusive Education at the Institute on Disability at the University of New Hampshire.

(Words in bold are my own highlights) "The largest study of educational outcomes of 11,000 students with disabilities, the National Longitudinal Transition Study, showed that when students with disabilities spent more time in a general education classroom they were more likely to score higher on standardized tests of reading and math; have fewer absences from school; experience fewer referrals for disruptive behavior; and achieve more positive post-school outcomes such as a paying job, not living in segregated housing, and with having a broad and supportive social network. These results were true regardless of students’ disability, severity of disability, gender or socioeconomic status.

Furthermore, as the recent WNYC story states, the achievement of students without disabilities is not compromised by the presence of students with disabilities in their classrooms. Some studies even show that implementing inclusion on a school wide basis improves achievement for all students.

And just as important as academic outcomes are the attitudes and values that all students learn when they are educated together."

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baltimore vs. northampton vs. self promotion

Wednesday 25 January 2012

I have figured out the definitive difference between Baltimore and Northampton, which comes in the form of two opposing bagel prosciutto sandwiches. Northampton's bagel prosciutto sandwich comes with sliced green apples and sharp cheddar and dijon mustard and is on a wheat bagel. Baltimore's comes with cream cheese and tomatoes and is on a seasame bagel that somehow tastes like an onion bagel. Also the two visions of prosciutto are a little different: Northampton's is very thin and lean, while Baltimore's is thick and marbled. I don't even need to tell you about where to eat these bagels, the crowd in these eating places, or the streets outside, because simply telling you about these bagels tells you all that other stuff. These differences represent themselves without value judgments.

And speaking of Baltimore, PGP is doing a $5 Book of the Month January special on All Good. There are only a few January days left, so go spend a little bagel money there if you're not hungry right now.

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Special Exposure Wednesday

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Inclusion vs Segregation

Tuesday 24 January 2012

Last week NBC Nightly news aired a story on Ryan, a 6 yr old with Down syndrome who was recently in an ad for Target. (story and video clip at that link).

According to a Target rep they have been including people with disabilities in their ads since the early 1990s. I shared a picture (on Twitter) of an ad they had last summer that included an adorable little girl with Down syndrome. Ryan has been modeling since he was 3. He has also been in Nordstrom catalogs (and Nordstrom has been using child models with Down syndrome since 1997).

In the above article it is mentioned that Ryan goes to school (and as the video clip puts it, "a school for Down syndrome children...") at The Arc of Essex County Stepping Stones School.

In this extended edition of the news piece (this part I don't believe was aired on TV) his parents discuss a little bit about sending him to this particular school.



The description on their website is that the school "provides education supports to children ages three to ten who have Down syndrome or other cognitive impairments." It says children with other cognitive impairments, but from the glimpses on the video it looks like all the kids in his classroom have Down syndrome.

Reading about this school I have to admit that for a few minutes I thought ... 'Huh. Interesting. What if a school like this was available for us to send Kayla to. Would we?"

Initially I thought there sure are some positive aspects to sending my child to a school like this.

- I imagine IEP meetings would be a piece of cake. I mean, there would be no discussion about how much time out of the school day your child would be 'included' in the general education classroom vs the special ed classroom.

- My child would have access to "Expertly trained staff utilizing the most up to date and effective techniques and strategies for children with Down syndrome." So the teachers and therapists and assistants would have training, and probably attend workshops/conferences, (maybe through Down Syndrome Education International) and read books (like Classroom Language Skills for Children With Down Syndrome, Teaching Math to People With Down Syndrome, and Teaching Reading to Children With Down Syndrome) geared especially for teaching children with Down syndrome. My child wouldn't be the first child with Down syndrome to be in their classroom.

- My child would be surrounded with other children just like her. She would walk through the halls and not be the only one, or handful, of students with Down syndrome.

- Everything would be tailored and designed to educating a child with Down syndrome.

Ryan's parents made this school decision with what they believe is the best choice for Ryan. And it looks like he's happy there and thriving and that's wonderful.

But yet, even though in some ways it seems ideal, that's not where I would ultimately want to send my child. I'm not judging Ryan's parents for making a different choice either - it's their choice and it's working for them. And this is only my opinion of why I wouldn't send Kayla to a school that was just for kids with Down syndrome.

- Where is the diversity? Where are the peer models?

- Aside from speech therapy, (and the adults in the school) where would she hear and receive and pick up on appropriate speech patterns and language from her peers?

- She wouldn't have the experience of a typical classmate teaching her things like swinging.  (Ok I'm well aware that being in a school with all students who have Ds that she could very well have picked this up from another student w/Ds .. this was just one example of her experience at a typical school.)

- The Stepping Stones school only goes up to age 10. So then what happens after that? All of a sudden you're in a regular public school; would it be an easy transition?

- I want Kayla and Lucas to go to the same school (and I'm still frustrated that she's not at her neighborhood school as it is.)

- Meanwhile typical students and teachers at the public schools are missing out on an opportunity to know and educate a child with Down syndrome. How will perceptions change?

- Research shows that inclusive classrooms have just as much benefit for the typical students as it does for those with disabilities.

- This is actually the complete opposite of what I want for Kayla. I want inclusion, not segregation. While I'm sure it would be nice for her to be surrounded by all peers with Down syndrome that simply is not the way society works. My vision is for Kayla to be fully included through her schools years, and admittedly we're not there yet. It's just ideally that is what I would like for Kayla. But I realize not every school is fully on board with full inclusion. For full inclusion to work the attitude has to be there from administration to teachers to have it implemented in a way to benefit all students.

From Down Syndrome Education: Training for inclusion needs to be a priority in the training of all teachers. Training teachers in inclusion leads to better teachers, who are more skilled at meeting the diversity of learning needs that will be found in any group of typically developing children, as well as being able to include children with disabilities in their classes, schools and communities.

Last weekend I attended a workshop on preparing for inclusion in life. This covered elementary school through college and beyond. The presenter said a number of things that made an impact on me. One of which was about changing the world.

She said, "The world isn't ready for inclusion because society doesn't have experience with people with disabilities. We have the power to change that. The more familiar people get with people with disabilities in society the more accepting society will be. It is not enough to enable students with disabilities to reach their full potential. We must re-educate future employers, neighbors, friends, and parents."

Students who grow up having other students with disabilities in their classrooms are more likely to hire those with disabilities.

We have to start changing the mindset of future teachers, employers, doctors ... society in general ... that there is a place for those with Down syndrome/disabilities and that place is belonging right in with the rest of society. They don't need to 'earn' their place in society. People with disabilities should be included in all aspects because disability is natural.

I think this sums up inclusive education nicely: If we wish to make a difference to the life experience of children and adults with disabilities, all children need to grow and learn together, so that the neighbours, friends and workmates of adults with disabilities have the opportunity to value the person first, to realise that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and that everyone has a contribution to make to a caring society. Anyone can become disabled through illness or accident and everyone will become less able with age. Developing caring, inclusive, communities improves the quality of life of all members of the community. From DSE's Education for Children With Down Syndrome: An Overview

What are your thoughts?

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Gluten-Free Saver Deal

Monday 23 January 2012

Today's deal from Gluten Free Saver: $9 for $17 from Katz Gluten Free.

The voucher is good until Apr 29th and can be used immediately at Katz Gluten Free. They have bread, pies, cookies, cakes etc. I think I need to stock up on pizza crust for Kayla; it seems there is always pizza at some event or another that she needs to bring her own GF pizza!

I don't recall that we've tried any of the Katz products yet, so I was excited to see they offer a sample pack of items that you can get for free by using code SAMPLE and just pay shipping!

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Cowok Bikin Pusing - 2011 (Indo Movie)

Saturday 21 January 2012

Date Released : 2011

Movie Quality : VCDRip

Starring : Julie Estelle, Laudya C Bella, Aming, Marcel Chandrawinata, Nino Fernández, Marissa

Genre : Drama

Format : MP4

Size : 450MB

Cecile (Julie Estelle), Tasha (Laudya C Bella) and Justin (aming) true friends are always supportive of all things, including love. Cecile had just broken up with her ​​fiance Marco (Marcel Chandrawinata), was dating 5 (five) year warranty ga ga for a guy for cheating! Tasha and Justin trying to entertain Cecile is on the rebound. They ga wits to help Cecile, destroying lives Marco and the women who were his affair.

Busyness and Tasha Cecile Cecile's care patisserie bitter sweet chocolate was a great help to forget about Marco. Until one day met Cecile Oka (Nino Fernandes) at his cake shop. Oka and Cecile have suffered the same love story. Oka caught his fiancee Angela (Marissa Nasution) in the same bed with another man. The similarity of suffering love them, make Oka and Cecile became closer.

CD1

http://www.mediafire.com/?a89jjrcgkdrrity

CD2

http://www.mediafire.com/?ml1mdq7q4w9xjg8

CD3

http://www.mediafire.com/?f2re9fdava9oa6d

CD4

http://www.mediafire.com/?bxo69w9mreeq0jd

CD5

http://www.mediafire.com/?hjmnjeq29d2xjt2

pass:

filmmediafire

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I am Dad - 2011 (Kmovie)

Date Released : 2011
Movie Quality : BDRip
Starring : Kim Seung-woo, Son Byeong-ho, Im Ha-ryong, Choi Jeong-yoon, Kim Sae-ron, Cheon Seong-hoon
Genre : Action | Crime | Drama
Format : MKV
Size : 400MB

PLOT

Corrupt detective Han Jong-sik (Kim Seung-woo) takes care of a gang and gets kickbacks to save his daughter. One day he gets news from the organ transplant coordinator that they have found a heart for his daughter (kim Sae-ron). However, he finds out the donor is magician Na Sang-man (Son Byeong-ho) who he put false charges over and was in jail.

Sang-man lost his young daughter and wife and became a vegetative state himself. Jong-sik guesses he wouldn’t allow the transplant so he plans a way to get rid of him. Just as Sang-man is about to go over in the hands of a gang and get surgery, he realizes the plan and disappears with Jong-sik’s daughter.

CD 1

http://www.mediafire.com/?4udkh4o9gm4ujl9

CD 2

http://www.mediafire.com/?onzb4kttccspnc8

Indo Subtitle

English Sub

Pass

filmmediafire

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dead auxiliaries in heaven, opportunistic comedians in the basement

So I've got a whole trove of stuff to catch up on, which means I need to wear my special pink skull power wristband to type it all. Actually nevermind I took it off immediately after I took that picture because it's too small for my wrist and I was about to pass out.


—The last Glitterpony for now is out, very bittersweet. A fine swamp of poems up in there. All the faves and new faces too. Sampson Starkweather says "light is awesome! / there should be a mind Olympics" and in so saying invents a new school of poetry called The School of Poetry That's Impossible to Disagree With. I have a couple poems in the issue, with 2/3 saucy-mouthed titles: "Why Fuck Around?" and "You Must Motherfucking Change Your Life" and "Know and Make Known." These are from a new school of poetry that involves taking chickpeas and pouring some masala paste on them and cook-stirirng things in a pan of warm olive oil until your dinner is evenly coated and easy to have made.

—Back on December 9th I did this "New Voices in Fiction" thing at Brown University with a great bunch of folks: Matt Bell, Rachel B. Glaser, Lily Hoang, and Matt Salesses. It was kind of a trip to read and have my work taught at Brown. Deep thanks to all the organizers and coordinators and cool Brown MFA students we met, especially Evelyn Hampton and Sarah Tourjee. One kid came up to me and aggressively grilled me about changing the ending to "The Peaches Are Cheap," which was exciting. Here is what else happened, according to my text message draft notes: "Hometown jigsaw and orbitwheels. The keep-yr-distance-bug-vaccuum. Jimmycake benedict." I only remember what the last one means, because the last one is about food.

—Then around Christmastime I went back to California, and within California went to the Bay Area to eat burritos and visit cool people like Chelsea, Jimmy, Mike K, Lorian, and Elliot/Erin. While there I did a reading at SF's hippest new tweegoth secret spot, the 851 Squat, beautifully decorated by Janey Smith and friends. Thanks to Mike K and Janey for inviting me. There were some interaction opportunities ("C'MON!") and some sexy stories. Here is a video of my reading (thanks to Evan Karp for recording), which is 13 minutes long, so you know, get a samosa or something (I mean to eat instead of watching it, not to eat while you're watching, geez, what do you think I am, aggro or something):






—Some thanks to bow at faces: thanks to the big DC for including Look! Look! Feathers in his list of favorite 2011 books, and thanks to Michael Fillipone for mentioning We Are All Good in his list of every book he read in 2011 and saying that when I open my mouth, "America comes out." Which, geez, I know my stomach's been weird since I got back from Thailand, but I hope MF doesn't have any information I don't. I still need to do my Every Book I Read in 2011 list for HTMLGIANT. There are around 92 books, so less than last year, but hey, I had to figure out the Baltimore bus system, gimme a break.

—The super cool Carrie Lorig asked me to make a playlist for the University of Minnesota MFA blog, and how could I say no to that? My playlist is called "A POETRY ADVICE THEMED PLAYLIST THAT IS SINCERE AS A JAR OF SWEET PICKLES BECAUSE I DIDN’T LEARN THE WORD GHERKINS UNTIL I WAS 23 AND BY THEN IT WAS TOO LATE." Sources inform me that gherkins aren't actually always the same thing as sweet pickles, so be careful about taking any of my advice. But do listen to the songs, which are really good.

—A long time ago Gene Kwak asked me some very sharp questions about place and place's role in my writing, and in January that back-and-forth went up on Hobart. Some of the stuff I say is a little gherkins-y (see above), but at least one true thing is when I say that I feel at home whenever I visit somewhere.

—For January I've been guest editing Everyday Genius, and I felt like the most genius thing I could do was acknowledge my own lack of genius and farm the selection process out to some actual geniuses, so I asked Gene Kwak, Evelyn Hampton, Nat Otting, and Carolyn Zaikowki to harvest some content, and they did an amazing job finding stuff. January isn't quite over yet, so check out what's there and stay tuned for more.

—In a few weeks, Mark and Laura and I are driving up to New Hampshire, where I'm going to do a guest workshop/reading at their alma mater, the Chester College of New England. I'm very excited, as New Hampshire has a very endorseable weirdness that floats over its entirety. Also we're going to stop in Northampton on the way back, so it will be cool to see friends and do snowy high fives there.

—Finally, the 2012 Magic Helicopter Press catalog is up! Do the checking of it outness! Especially the April 2012 forthcoming book of Jordan Stempleman poems No, Not Today. Speaking of how I'm unable to publish a book that doesn't have "today" in the title, major props to Ofelia Hunt's Today & Tomorrow for winning the Alt Lit Gossip 2011 Best Debut Novel award. Keep the channel on Alt Lit Gossip's Tumblr for all your alt-lit gossip needs. I wish the rest of life were so accessible. Like I could go to cheapindianfood.
tumblr.com for all my cheap Indian food needs. For now I guess I will have to yell at the microwave.

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Pamela's Products

One of the better brands I've found on this gluten-free journey is Pamela's Products. The first thing we tried was the Baking and Pancake Mix. This made for some yummy gluten-free pancakes (and there are plenty of other recipes on the site for this mix as well.)

Another of their yummy doesn't-taste-like-gluten-free products is the Chocolate Brownie Mix. What's even better is this can be ordered in a single-serving pack. It's microwaveable and done in about a minute. This is great for a quick and easy brownie mix for on the go. All you need is a little bit of oil and water and a microwaveable bowl or cup. I love these! I took a single-serving pouch when we went to Chicago. During the awards banquet dinner I handed our server this little bag of brownie mix and asked if he could ask the chef, or whoever in the kitchen, to make this up for Kayla (it only takes about 60 seconds) so she could have her dessert with the rest of us (which wasn't gluten-free.) It worked out wonderfully!

I ordered a box from Amazon which is a few dollars cheaper when signing up for the Subscribe & Save (which can always be cancelled at any time).

These little pouches come in handy when Kayla is invited to a birthday party. I can just make up a mix before we leave the house to take with us ... so much easier than having to make up a whole cake, or tin of muffins, for one birthday party. Then what am I supposed to do with the rest of the cake/muffins? I usually freeze them, but that only lasts so long; they just don't taste as good once they've been frozen.

The pouches say they are single-serve, but they actually make up a pretty good size brownie. I cut it in half for Kayla and get two servings out of it.

I just found out the Baking & Pancake Mix also comes in the single serve pouch as well. Looks like I need to stock up on those too! Definitely makes traveling easier!

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Songlap - 2011 (Malay Movie)

Friday 20 January 2012

Genre: Action | Drama

IMDB rating: 7.8/10

Directed by: Fariza Azlina, Effendee

Starring: Shaheizy Sam, Mohd Syafie Naswip and Sara Ali

Release Name: Songlap.2011.DVDRip.AC3.XviD-TeaMarYzs

Size: 699MB

Video: XviD, 688X384, 1024Kbps, 25 fps

Audio: MP3, 116kbps, Stereo

Runtime: 1h 35mins

Subtitle: None

CD1

http://www.mediafire.com/?4yp5qeqypgaq7mx

CD2

http://www.mediafire.com/?xmn3r6399gj8ajg

CD3

http://www.mediafire.com/?6028u43i7jb6kv7

CD4

http://www.mediafire.com/?h5bz9dtjs4p0k0k

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sunburns and monkeys and buddha and coconut milk: the very long thailand post

Thursday 19 January 2012

Hey guess what: I just dripped some beet smoothie on my blue jeans. Action figure Spock is doing push-ups next to the Hanakuh guy toy Rachel gave me. Turns out I'm Polish on my mother's side, not Russian. Joe Montalex is a nickname I invented for Niners quarterback Alex Smith. One of the people who invented the essay was a Sumerian flood survivor. Nobody is ever going to fix the water in this apartment. One thing I probably won't ever be able to say sincerely is "Smoke 'em if you got 'em." One thing I can and do say sincerely, if only occasionally, is "Consider the source." Also: I went to Thailand!

That's right, I went to Thailand to visit Carrot Cake Zaikowki. We had a grand time. I will now recap our time in a hella extensive blog post I've been kind of dreading because I know it will get very long. For once the pictures are really pictures I/Carolyn took. Gross! There's also a whole other blog post in the wings full of misc. writing related stuff. I will inhale the jet fumes of this blog post to follow up with that one. First let's see how much I can remember about Thailand.

My flight from San Francisco to Beijing was eleven hours. The only movie I got really into was Source Code, which was one of those Hollywood movies that's full of amazing scenes to look at but once you turn the sound on is incredibly stupid. Also I ate like six Cliff Bars. To get the internet in the Beijing airport I had to scan a copy of my passport, so now my face is in the Chinese ether. Finally I got to Bangkok, hugged Carolyn for a million minutes, and then we went to our guesthouse and I ate some chicken-on-a-stick and learned how to use Thai toilets. The next day, we visited some temples and saw how high the river had risen. An old lady lavished approval on Carolyn's tattoos and command of Thai language. At some point I ate delicious things in curried sauces with coconut milk. Also I drank some fruit shakes because coconuts, mangoes, bananas, and other such fruits are all fresh in Thailand, which is amazing to experience in a mouth way.

One thing that happened in Bangkok—though I can't remember if this was the first time we were there or the second—was we went to a temple where we had to take our shoes off. There was a place you could buy candle things to light a thing, and Carolyn bought one. But she dropped the little foil wrapper of the candle stick on the ground, and a monk came by and said something in Thai and picked up the foil and dropped it in a large communal foil pot.

Even butter tasted like coconut. I got some mosquito bites and freaked out about them for no reason. Boxing is very big in Thailand, as is the King. The King, in fact, is literally big on all the posters he's on. Tourists in Thailand have completely demolished the credibility of that Red Bull shirt with Thai lettering, the pink version of which I own and used to think was cool before I went to Thailand.

After Bangkok, we went to this island called Ko Phi Phi. It's where they made the movie The Beach with Leonardo DeCaprio, which is a movie I've never seen and now strangely feel like I must resist, like it is somehow an enemy of me, like it will try to find me and make me watch it randomly and I'll have to carry a special tigerskin blindfold for such occasions.

We took a boat to get to Ko Phi Phi, and the boat was filled with bro-ish Australians, but that might not be fair because every time I saw somebody do something bro-ish or obnoxious I nudged Carolyn and said "Look at that Australian" without checking whether they really were Australian or not. Ko Phi Phi was insanely beautiful, like the beautiful level of the video game, the one everybody on the team is like "Let's let Carole design this level because she's more attractive than any of us and she knows what the deal with attractiveness is." We saw monkeys on Monkey Island, and some jerks fed them instant coffee. One of the people at the guest house we were staying with said he was born in Stockton, California. We asked him if he ever got tired of how beautiful Ko Phi Phi was and he said "Yes." He said Alaska was more beautiful, but I dunno.

We tried to go to a mosque, but it was closed. At the highest point of the island, a gardener kept trying to speak Russian to a Polish lady, even though he knew she was Polish, which I and everybody else thought was hilarious. I drank coconut stuff out of a huge coconut! We ate twice at this place called Papaya, which had amazing massaman curry that took apparently eight years to make. The place is ran by a former Muay-Thai boxer who seems super gay in a good way. There is some spice that happened during some of the pad thai frying that caused everybody in the room to cough. An Asian mother filmed her pantsless child peeing on the Monkey Island beach. The child peed for like ten minutes straight I swear. We met a Norweigan lumber speculator who said he'd always wanted to go to the redwoods. On a boat Italians and Spaniards talked together in halting English about how fun it was to vacation in some island off the North African coast. In the Phuket airport, there was a store that sold cashews, and there was a huge video in the store of how hard it was to work on the assembly line in the cashew factory, but this seemed like it was intended to impress you into buying more cashews.

Back in Bangkok, we saw a dude with a lot of face tattoos at Carolyn's favorite Thai vegan restaurant. We talked a lot about whether you choose to get all those face tattoos or you get addicted to tattoos. Speaking of skin, I got an infected sunburn on my leg and had to visit a pharmacist. The pharmacist said it was okay to let my pants down. She gave me some antibiotics and patches that cost under $30. "You will take care of him, be his doctor," she said to Carolyn. Later I thought she'd said "nurse" but Carolyn firmly corrected me. We took a cab to the bus station and the cab driver laughed at a passing train.

We took a bus to Ayutthaya, which was the capital of the kingdom of Siam for 400 years. Back in the early to mid 1000s. It used to be called the "Venice of Asia." Was allegedly one of the most beautiful and bustling cities of the ancient world, and I believe it. Nowadays it's very weird because it's sort of a working class/factory/university city whose infrastructure and city blockage is occasionally interrupted by these amazing and crumbling ancient temples.

We saw a three story golden Buddha and somebody sat in the Buddha's lap, which you're not supposed to do. We took a boat ride, and fishermen made their kids wave at us. We walked around a lot and met some Germans and Carolyn posed with some giant chickens. We refreshed ourselves after our walk at a Hello Kitty themed coffeeshop where one glass table was decorated with a bunch of cell phones under the table top. We played trivia in an ex-pat bar sort of against our will because the owner kept aggressively giving us questions like "What are all the American states that start with New?" When we forgot something or got something wrong, he'd say "Don't you speak English? I was born in Seattle. Just kidding." We met a very nice middle aged Thai man who said Carolyn would make a beautiful Thai woman. He said that in Thailand women are rated from 1 to 4 (this doesn't seem corroborated by, like, anything else anywhere, but let's roll with it) and that Carolyn was definitely a 4, even though she didn't seem as tall as other Americans. He also said Carolyn's style would make her a beggar if she were Thai, but because she's American it made her a cool hippie.

After Ayutthaya, we went to Kanchanaburi, which was my favorite. I made up a song that went "Baby baby don't you worry. Come on down to Kan-chan-a-burry." Kanchanaburi is where the Bridge Over the River Kwai/Kwoi/Kwahe is. At sunset the bridge lights up in a disco way, even though hundreds/thousands of prisoners of war died to make it. Just one of those things. In the nice museum with the nice bathrooms, the wax statues were very graphic and scary and depressing and informative, and so was the overall experience, even though there were cool lights you could press to make different areas of the mine shaft model light up. Mostly Kanchanaburi was a river town, and I know river towns. For example, we went to a restaurant owned by a guy who probably owned the coolest pair of eyeglasses in Kanchanaburi, and he was very anxious to please us, and meanwhile some teenager was playing guitar there for what looked like the debut of an open mic series, and the teenager had brought his two friends with him, one of whom was very dopey and encouraging, and the other of whom was a girl who looked bored but also kind of like she had a crush on either the dopey kid or the guitar kid, not sure. River town drama, y'all.

Also we saw some Russians making muscle arm poses under a waterfall. We got involved in a three act play at a Portuguese restaurant where I ate some cake and a husband said "Spicy women they make the sweetest food" and a wife yelled at the husband for being drunk and turning up the music and she yelled "What are you, drunk with power?" There were kids and dogs and motorcycles and a long lost friend from Copenhagen and sangria and chess. This episode merits a lot of discussion, actually, and Carolyn and I agreed we would each write our own version at some point in our lives. Mine will be a three act play, definitely, and hers will be something more interior monologue-ish.

In Kanchanaburi I finally broke down and bought a souvenir: a t-shirt of an elephant playing soccer or "SHOWING OFF" as the shirt says. I ate some cashews flavored with coconut cream, some mango with sticky rice (actually, wait, I didn't eat that until I got to the airport, but I kept wanting it the whole time I was in Kanchanaburi) and the best pad thai of the trip at a place where the waitress was like the Thai Janis Joplin: she swayed around and kept trying to read her own handwriting through white sunglasses that clearly didn't have corrective lenses. I ate some red curry that came with rice in a heart shape. Some old British guy had a bookstore with very anal policies. A toothless dog gummed my ankle. I ate fried bamboo. I drank a kiwi shake made by a woman who Carolyn accidentally called beautiful even though she was trying to call the town beautiful, or she did accurately call the town beautiful but the woman misunderstood, but nonetheless the woman demurred and said "Oh no you are beautiful" in Thai. Some things I learned how to say in Thai, spelled phonetically, are "Sa wah dee krap" (Hello), "Kap gun krap" (Thank you), and "Arroy maa" (Very delicious). At some point I ate a fried banana, but I can't remember where. I never ate a grasshopper, but the cart for fried grasshoppers in Bangkok charged you 10 baht to just take a picture of somebody else eating one. Luckily it's like 30 baht per dollar, but you know what they say: "smoke 'em if you got 'em."

But my favorite part of Kanchanaburi by far was the crazy Thai museum they called a WWII museum but was actually a hodgepodge castle maze of amazeaballs. This museum seemed to have a joyful lack of organizing principles. Some ceilings were illustrated proverbs. Some walls had cutouts from fashion magazines. One wall had a bunch of kitchen equipment. Elsewhere there were a million guns under a glass case. A Korean War soldier corpse in one room. One hallway featured very unrealistic wax statues of key WWII players, all described in very weird ways. The Mussolini statue had an extra placard that was actually just a note to revise the original placard. Among the items up for revision: "Make sure to mention his time spent working in a chocolate factory." In the middle of the "courtyard square" area of the museum was a 1970s looking space age Buddha temple capsule. On the tops of the towers the views were amazing. At one point there was a train engine with an old Rolls Royce on top of it. Carolyn said "This must be what it looks like inside your brain." In a basement room, a placard explained that the museum itself was protected by earthquakes by a specific mysticism. There were a lot of signs with hilarious English translations. One of the outside areas just had some clothes drying. One of the inside murals was of fighting elephant gods. All in all, this museum was probably my favorite thing humans have ever got together and done.

We took an amazingly harrowing van back to Bangkok, and Carolyn and I had a tearful re-departure goodbye at the Bangkok bus station after I was too afraid to eat the bus station food and Carolyn forgot to disinfect her fork in the boiling water station. It was awesome to hang out with my lovely and amazing and talented Carrot for two weeks, especially after having not seen her since September, and it was very sad to have to leave her again. After we parted, she took a sixteen hour bus to the far northern reaches of Thailand where she now lives in a grass hut with snakes.

In Beijing I couldn't meet up with my friend Luke because I couldn't leave the airport. The authorities kept telling me it was "too late." I thought they meant proverbially, but really they just meant it was 2AM. So I paid too much for a bed in a weird airport hotel place, telling myself it was worth it for the experience. I guess what I meant when I told myself that was the hotel clerk picked her nose in a really interesting way right in front of me. On the plane back to San Francisco, a kindly Chinese grandmother type tried to speak to me in Chinese and helped me find my pen when it fell between our seats. Back in the Bay Area, my first re-acclimation impression was everybody in America has too much space and quiet to themselves.

That was Thailand! Let me know if there's something I left out that you really wanted to know. Most people want to know if I ate anything weird, which I guess I didn't, in the common sense of what might be weird to put in your mouth and think about digesting, but Carolyn at one point bought a bag of potato chips that came with a packet inside them of weird sugar and chili flavored ketchup. Now I will end with a quote from Baudrillard's The Transparency of Evil:
"Travel was once a means of being elsewhere, or of being nowhere. Today it is the only way we have of feeling that we are somewhere. At home, surrounded by information, by screens, I am no longer anywhere but rather everywhere in the world at once, in the midst of a universal banality—a banality that is the same in every country. To arrive in a new city, or in a new language, is suddenly to find oneself here and nowhere else. The body rediscovers how to look. Delivered from images, it rediscovers the imagination.”

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"Her Blank Canvas: Perfection"

"Her Blank Canvas: Perfection" 

I stare at your canvas:

Smooth and fair,

Beautifully bare,

Yet somewhat aware of my intentions. 

Most of which I fail to mention;

Leaving you to question:

Do I truly favor your complexion 

Or am I feigning and pretentious?

Make no mistake. 

I will issue no amends

For what is seen with this lens. 

Blank is where beauty begins. 

The monocle is powerful,

The microscope offers hope;

And the hopeful use bifocals;

But you deserve my naked eye. 

It alleviates my stress

To watch you undress. 

It's the moments that I savor

that promote my steadfast labor;

Contrasting your edges

Like shears through construction paper,

Love dangling over ledges

to be admired by the neighbors,

Blotched with sweat and wine

But still so rhythmic in design. 

Happenstance is how we're defined;

So I always take my time. 

There's no need to rush. 

Just gently graze my brush. 

Unwavering whiskers dance and prance

With the rhythm of a lush. 

Random moves become consistent

As each stroke is more insistent. .

When it comes to spreading moisture,

Passionate wrists remain persistent. 

Contingent upon one's inclination

And the level of infatuation,

Resolve is lost and revelry is stationed;

Giving way to voracious saturation. 

I will not spare elaboration. 

I fawn because it's necessary. 

Such a wonderful work of art.

I'll keep you from each adversary. 

I sit here with stationery;

Writing to the love I've missed. 

Extensive letters travel by feather;

Asking you to reserve my kiss. 

If I recall, I couldn't resist:

Nights and mornings met with bliss

And the moaning would not desist

Until ink smeared across your papyrus. 

Wonderous colors line your walls

Whilst these fingers crease through halls

And not one reaction stalls. 

Love springs free like waterfalls. 

You lack the impurities

That this lost world longs to see.

One glance resolves my faculties

And spares them of my savagery. 

Angry hands tear apart

And I would never harm my art.

I wouldn't know where to start. 

You're autographed within my heart. 

You're so sexy.It's a shame. 

Too good for a picture frame. 

Just so loving.It's so lovely. 

Legs like pages wrap and hug me.

I'd embark on a pilgrimage

For one of your still images. 

Photos filled with awe and grandeur

Worth the ransom of a lineage. 

Some say that you appear dislodged;

Looking misshapen and archaic. 

They may see you as a hodgepodge;

But you've always been my Mosaic. 

It's hard for me to look past

How I love to stain your glass;

Wetting my whiskers for a feeling

Before I splash across your ceilings. 

Let the men and women know. 

We shamelessly merge within windows. 

With great detail, I aim to please. 

Great artists work on their knees. 

You frustrate me.You get on my nerves;

Trying to draw those heavenly curves. 

I can't find the matching stencils. 

I don't have a lot of pencils. 

I could use concrete and chalk;

But you're better than sidewalk. 

You're too gorgeous for the street. 

You won't be trampled under feet. 

All I have are these wide eyes;

The watercolors for your thighs. 

All I have are eager lips

Ready to trace across your hips. 

Smooth the edges with fingertips. 

Plot around and take a trip

Til that lifeless, empty canvas

Leaves very little to be managed,

But then…I stare once more. 

And decide to leave it alone

For lust can be repeatedly sketched;

But our love is etched in stone. 

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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Chicago Photo Shoot

A couple months ago I posted a photo of Kayla from the photo shoot that was done in Chicago. I also used one of the family pictures for our Christmas cards. I just realized I never shared some of the other pictures from this photo shoot.

I have such a hard time taking a decent picture of Kayla lately; seriously! I have to snap what seems like 50 pictures just to get one or two that look nice. She has some aversion to looking at me/the camera and will keep her eyes down or to the side. Anywhere but where I want them to be! So I wasn't sure how this photo shoot was going to turn out.

The other thing I was worried about was Kayla's right eye. A few days before the trip Kayla had a cold, by the time we arrived in Chicago I think she had a sinus infection. It was bad. Her eye was constantly watering, she was rubbing it and there was a streak of redness from her eye down to her cheek. By Thur night her eye was a bit swollen. Lovely, just what we needed for a photo shoot for "Most Beautiful Eyes!" By late Friday afternoon it was starting to get a little better, but in some of these photos I can still tell her right eye was a little puffy; I'm just glad the photo shoot wasn't Thur night!

To say I was pleased is an understatement! The ladies were just awesome with the kids and I love how these photos came out! One lady (referring to herself as the child wrangler) did such a great job of keeping Kayla sitting still, focused, relaxed, and happy - which made for some natural smiling/laughing photos.

If we lived closer to NYC I would consider using these photos to put together a portfolio (hello, ToysRUs!)

We went to a children's museum earlier that day and forgot about the stamp on the front of her hand!

I think Lucas was looking quite dashing himself - little Mr GQ!

Prevent Blindness America used one of the photos for their donation page.

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