"Trick Mirrors"

Monday 30 December 2013

"Trick Mirrors"

Knuckles made of brass
And the past that I slept on.
Girls who grew up fast
Want the men that they crept on.
Blast from the past.
Buckshot from the future.
Gain financial aid
But the governor abused her.
Sum of the slums
Equivalent to the navy.
Can't deny Brenda's baby.
Dad's name was Marcus, maybe……
Lady draped in red.
Tattoos to her ankles.
Can't seem to stay fed
but you can't miss her navel.
Thank God for W.I.C.
And the welfare assistance.
Four letters spell F.E.M.A.
Acronym for the resistance.
Chose politicians
but we can't spell their names.
Created this system
Just to cast more blame.
Bolster the backlash.
Protect the last stash
With what remains of your life.
Starve you child. Beat your wife.
Brag about the struggle
Like the frat and sorors.
Outline the maligned
After plotting out the scars.
Death after last breath.
Meth and the pistol.
Land ruled over jewels
And thick women named Krystal.
Blood on the pavement.
Tears in her eyes.
We race to the scene
But won't respond to her cries.

Long walks initiated on streets.
Downwards spiral of deliberate fashion
Fashioned to forge forks in the road.
Penitentiary perdition or deadly destitute.
Truth told to closed hearts
And ears that widen selectively.
Collectively protesting another's roots
Whilst clinging to the stoop.
Rarely bread and fruit
but surely loose cigarettes and loot
From those we spitefully purport
While we sit on the porch.
Proud to be until we
Encounter one who can't see
How one wouldn't grasp at straws.
We mask our flaws in mockery.
No support for the survivor.
Those who make it out
Face our groundless doubt
Because they aren't what we're about.
The crab and the barrel
brimming over. Spilling over.
Those fortunate to grow older
Wish their younger days were sober.
Somber feeling with no healing.
Dealing with the lowered ceiling
pressed against new generations.
Never ending conversations.
Persecute them for their music.
How that wear it. How they do it.
Disgusting gyration movement
But no basis for improvement.
Parents left to wonder why.
Scrape acceptance. Smear the lies.
Damned to disgrace and defile.
Fuel for copious denial.
Toil and trial in self defense.
Intermingle with the fence.
Still a month behind on rent.
Pitching fits as wide as tents.
Fifty dollars in your purse.
There was more before the thirst.
Can't afford the change in price
But each first sip feels so nice.
No ice. No milk. No care.
Broken barrettes in their hair.
Skin so shiny, smooth and fair.
Not your daughter. Wouldn't dare.
Not unless you're there to see.
Not where you thought you would be.
Gave your future to their father.
He truly couldn't be further
From the angry son who chose
to put back on those same clothes
and take risks on crowded corners.
Addict mother hugs the corner.
Lost her before he was twelve.
Keeps her picture on the shelves
high enough for him to reach
Cash from the last deal he breached.
Teach the preacher. Predict time.
Find it all amid the rhyme.
Reason washes nothing clean
If one will not change the scene.

So much made of class
and the time that we slept on.
Flowers wither fast
Only after they are stepped on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tread in consideration of generations.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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"Red Wine"

Tuesday 24 December 2013

"Red Wine"

Documented my patience.
Watch me race after venom
But not the water to chase it.
All my selfish decisions
Obscure but clear in my vision
Especially when we're throttled.
I love when you grab that bottle
and pour yourself a glass.

Nothing less than buxom.
Sat here by your lonesome.
Knees together
like they want some attention.
Complimentary tradition.
I love to sit and listen.
Thoughts that swirl and sometimes glisten
While you take your little sips.
Dripping from your lips
Are things you'd only say influenced.
So fluent that I understand your plight.
Came over every night
Just to increase your selection.
No true thirst for deception.
No desire to slight detection
Although we fluctuate our pace.
Simplistic direction:
Pop the cork and fill your face
With fermented notes once graced
by the hands of every place we've never been to.

I love what you're in to.
This just might offend you
But that next glass just might bend you
Over like the mind of most men do
And I can't say that I'm different.
Just fortunate you've befriended.
Can't offer you past amendments
but we could possibly dine.
Summer salad is fine.
I like Italian on mine.
I arrive before nine
But there's no dinner. Just wine.

You've been dreaming.
Lights are gleaming.
Slowly speaking.
You've been drinking.
We've been thinking.
Barely blinking.
So much plotting.
So much scheming.
All is steamy.
Pass the glass.
This tastes creamy.
Brought my flask.
Left the cork back on the porch.
Skipped past dinner. Tossed the fork.
Made a violent mess of things.
Left some blotches on the strings.

Couldn't get all of the stains.
Poured stale portions down the drain.
Soaked brains slip from the last sip.
Eyes grip like palms around the cork.
Plunged into our thoughts
Twisting firm with desire.
Floated higher through the pain
Spilling over us like rain.
Watched you strain just to cascade
So I cast aid to your vigor.
Far too parched to let it breathe.
Sat it down and let you seethe.

Merlot splashed over malice.
You don't wonder when
You'll crack that chalice.
You just pour it in.
I can't watch
But I return each day.
Wick placed under sober means.
Remember how they burn away
And fade slowly?
You know me enough
To take in my advisement
and hammer out the chastisement
until all that remains is enticement.
And we wonder where the lights went
When we only see the red.
When we sink into the bed
Amid this life so many dread.
We are free to clear our heads……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……Have another glass instead.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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Letter To My Daughter

Monday 23 December 2013

Dear Kayla,

I will be the first to admit I'm not a great mom. I know I have many faults and have made many mistakes in raising you. The incident over the necklace is just one example of those parenting mistakes.

When I picked you up from school the other week and your aide told you to show me what your friend/classmate gave you I was expecting it to be another one of those rubber band bracelets you've been coming home with.

I wasn't expecting to see the dainty, silver necklace with the "K" around your neck.

I admit to having almost two simultaneous thoughts. The first being absolutely touched that your friend gave you a gift like that. I had to hold back the tears.

Immediately following that thought was a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach as I thought to myself that this gift was going to end up broken in no time.

I was surprised to even see you wearing that necklace. You don't like to wear anything on your arms, around your neck, or in your hair. So while I was touched by the gift she gave you I also felt like it was kind of wasted on you as it would end up sitting on your dresser, or more likely, broken.

On the way to therapy I kept pointing out your necklace and how nice it was of "I" to give it to you and how important it was to take care of it. I kept mentioning that you had to be careful with your necklace so it didn't break.

You were great about keeping it on the rest of the day. That night after I finished making dinner I went upstairs to get you and noticed all the lights were off. I found you in bed with your pajamas on. You said you were tired so I cuddled up beside you and started rubbing your back.

I don't know what made me think about your necklace, must have been intuition, but I reached up to your neck and asked you where you necklace was. You said, "It broke."

I admit I reacted a bit too strongly to the news of what I figured would happen had happened so soon after receiving the gift - that it didn't even last a full day.

I jumped out of your bed and said, (ok more like yelled), "What?! Kayla where is your necklace?!"

You told me it was on your dresser and there I found it split in the middle - no way for me to fix it.

I was so upset and didn't control my feelings well at all. I yelled at you about not being responsible and taking care of your things and look at what happens you end up breaking your stuff. Then I continued in my childish ways and stomped down the stairs so frustrated.

You came down for dinner and sat at the table where I was still fuming over the broken necklace and I didn't let it go. I continued to be upset about it and harp on you about breaking a necklace that someone gave you and how this was such a special gift.

Of course it was no surprise when you left the table and I heard you in the bathroom crying.

I sat at the table and cried too.

Cried because I was ashamed at the way I just reacted and cried at the way that I treated you and cried that I yelled at you and mostly cried because my actions caused you to cry.

I heard you in the bathroom crying and saying, "It broke itself. I didn't do it, it broke itself."

And there I went again, "Kayla it didn't just break by itself! You had to have done something to cause it to break the way it broke. You did something, you weren't careful!"

More tears. From both of us.

I finally went to you and in a more calm voice asked you if you were trying to take your shirt off when you changed to your pajamas; and when you pulled your shirt over your head did the necklace get caught and break? You said yes, but it's hard to know if that's what really happened.

I pulled you in to a hug and apologized to you. I told you I was sorry for yelling at you about the necklace. I told you I still loved you. I know it didn't make everything better, but I wanted you to know I was sorry and that I still loved you despite my less-than-desirable behavior. 

I don't even know why I was so upset over the necklace. I tried to find the words to explain it to you, but I don't think we got very far.

I think it was because this necklace meant more to me than it did to you. I think I've always put a lot of importance on material things ... attached memories to them and they became my memories. Material things became important to me. I had scrapbooks filled with things from my growing up years. Things that I kept because this person or that person gave it to me, or tickets to this movie or that movie because I went with so-and-so.

I was so touched that this girl gave you a present, I think maybe for Christmas. I don't know how many other girls she might have given a gift to as well, or if you were the only one, but either way, you were one that she did chose to give a gift to. You were included. She thought of you and wanted to give you something and I wanted that to mean something to you.

And you were happy about it- I could see it in your face when you showed it to me. But I wanted you to be like me. I wanted you to be responsible like I was when I was your age. I wanted you to take care of your things. I wanted you to just know how you were supposed to take care of the necklace. I wanted you to take pride in it.

I think my anger was anger at myself that I unfairly directed at you. Anger because of my own image of you doesn't always reflect the person who you are. Anger at myself because sometimes I blame your having Down syndrome on things that frustrate me. I had the fleeting thought that if you didn't have Ds you might have cared more about the necklace, might have been more careful when changing your clothes, might have just known how to be gentle with it. I know that's not fair and that is one of my faults. I never said I was perfect. I know I'm far from it.

I know there was no reason to be so upset over a $5 necklace from Claire's. The "K" charm on it was still intact; all I had to do was replace the chain. I did apologize to you, but I'm saying it again that I'm sorry I went overboard. I was just hoping the gift of this necklace would last longer than an afternoon.

I did go to Claire's and get a new chain. But by then I had traumatized you about the necklace because you refused to wear it. I convinced you it would be ok to wear it to school and that your friend would be happy to see you wearing the gift she gave you. You finally relented and I've been able to get you to wear it a few times now.

It looks so pretty on you.

I'm not the best mom, but I am trying to be better. Thank you for forgiving me for my faults.

Love, your Mom.

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Finally Festive

Oh hey there, day before Christmas eve. I've been more productive today at work than I typically am in a week because, I'm hoping, if I finish up everything I have to get done today I won't have to come in the office again until 2014. THAT, my friends, would be a true Christmas miracle.

With that said, let's make this a quickie because who doesn't like a good quickie. 

Wait, what?

Are you ready for this little shocker? The bear and I went on our first official date on Friday night. Yes, you read that right. Him and I have never actually been on a real date. What can I say? Our entire relationship is a bit unconventional and, well, we've just never gotten around to doing the ol' "pick ya up at 8" thing. That changed this weekend, though, and it was cool and all... Except I'm just a big fan of the nights we come home, turn the AC down to polar bear (See what I did there?) temps, and curl up with some take out and a good movie. 

Either way, mark it down. We've officially been on a date. Nearly five months later. Ha. 

Oh, oh, we also decided to be all festive and shit on Friday night. And by "we" I mean "me" because, if we're being honest here, bear didn't really have a choice. 

We went and walked this crazy Christmas light house and it put my Grinch ass right in the Christmas spirit. Yep, you read that right. I'm officially on board with St. Nick. It only took me a month... No big deal.

Saturday we did the adult thing and went on a mass cleaning attack on my apartment. It sucked big ballsack. Well, it did until we finished... and then I enjoyed every damn second of it and didn't want to leave. Bonus points, we even shampooed my rug so now it's back to being off-white and black instead of grey and black. Holler. 

Sweet serenity. 

Saturday night I got myself some delicious oysters for dinner, topped with a pitcher of beer, and ended with a little darts. That, sir Luke Bryan, is MY kind of night. 

Yesterday I woke up to this little face...

Which convinced me to stay in bed a bit longer than I probably should have but, hey, you would too. 

Once I finally rolled out of bed, I made my way out to battle the crowds with my mom and finish up my Christmas shopping for bear. We made a pit stop at Cheesecake Factory for some Bloody's and brunch, and then I had my parking spot stollen by some jackass in a VW Jetta. He laughed while he pulled into the spot, which basically forced me to use every bit of class I had in my body to not scream profanities and deface his vehicle. Woooo. Saaaaa. Or whatever that yoga thing is.

My tree now looks like Santa has arrived and I can't wait for bear to open everything. Even more, I can't wait to show you guys what I got him. So. Cool.

Anywho, I'm out like me in dodgeball. 

Wish me luck in my pursuit of getting the next week off.

Also, don't forget that tomorrow is the last day to order and pay for this month's IWYP By: Whitney Ellen #OOTD shirt!  [CLICK HERE to order]

See yaaa! 

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Hi, My Name Is Grinch

Friday 20 December 2013

I'm feeling very much like the Grinch today, thanks to some piece of shit, low life, who decided I was the lucky one whose bank account they were going to compromise 6 days before Christmas. AWE. SOME. Just what I wanted to do today, in addition to learning that I'm probably not getting much of a Christmas break from work this year, is go sit at the bank and fill out claims on $1,000 worth of fraudulent charges so I can get my damn money back. 

So, shout out to the waste of life that caused me to shut down my entire account in the midst of my Christmas shopping. Getting my card declined on a $7 charge for wrapping paper at Hobby Lobby is totally my idea of a great fucking time. Except it's not and there's a special place in hell for you, next to people who hurt puppies and kittens. How about you get off your ass and go make some of your own money, instead of spending someone else's? There's a thought!

And I was just starting to get in the Christmas spirit. Bah. Humbug.

Sorry I'm not sorry, Christmas. It's you, not me. Where do I sign up for a new year?

Anyways, let's get some solid #backthatazzup jams going so I can turn this day around and, hopefully, get a little bit of my holly jolliness back. 

Because, really, if this song can't pick me up, nothing will.

It's #backthatazzup Friday!

The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.

The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.

The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!

Click here for a tutorial on how to embed a song in your post.

Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!

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When In Doubt, Ramble Out

Thursday 19 December 2013

*Shirt can be found at Avery Lane Boutique*

Hello, is this thing on? I slightly wish it wasn't because, I'm gonna be real honest right now, I don't feel like posting at. all. My desire to do anything productive this week is about as intense as my desire to go get a voluntary pap smear right now. Which would be negative eleventy billion, if you need to put a percentage on it. 

I mean, I can't really talk about what I bought bear or my mother for Christmas because, well, there's a solid chance they might come here snooping. Which really wouldn't be a bad idea because I'm pretty oblivious to who does and doesn't come here and read daily. Either way, snooping here would be more beneficial than snooping in my apartment because I'm not a rookie and this sure as hell ain't my first garland covered rodeo. 

True story, though, all I really want to talk about is what I got bear because it's pretty much the coolest thing I've ever seen. 

Oh, that reminds me... both my mom and bear's gifts somehow manage to benefit me, as well. That, my friends, is what I like to call "Christmas shopping done right". Also, I managed to shop somewhere other than Total Wine this year, so I suppose we can chalk that up as a win for this girl. Double bonus round, I bought everything exactly 7 days before said holiday, which means I should go ahead and buy myself something shiny because that's a damn record for me in non-procrastination. 

Aside from that, if I haven't been mentally screaming profanities at every other douche bag on the road, I've been busy stalking the 98 different people on my various news feeds who have been getting engaged. Which, I'm pretty sure, has been on crack this year. Or maybe I'm just getting to "that age" where that whole marriage thing spreads faster than herpes. Either way I may, or may not, be mentally screaming profanities at them, too. Maybe.  

Anyways, this is shit for a post and for that I apologize if you took time out of your day to read this. Really, I would really like it if the world would relieve me of all responsibilities for the next week or two so I can sleep a lot and participate in the occasional 1pm cocktail. Is that SO MUCH to ask? I think not. 

I'll be back tomorrow for #backthatazzup, though, don't you worry. Mostly because I just remembered that I wanted to talk about Miley on the Madison Square Garden's Jingle Ball show that aired last night. Whoops. Welp, at least I have something to say tomorrow. 

Focker out.

PS. If you're one of the people driving like a douche bag on the road, cut it out. 

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Holiday Party Pains

Wednesday 18 December 2013

Hey, look who showed up to class today. If you're wondering who, it's me. That's who. I seem to have gotten bit by the hookie bug the last two days. Whoops. 

In all honestly, I think the last two days have been a wake up call. What kind of wake up call, you may ask? The kind that slaps you right in the face and reminds you that you are, in fact, a grown adult, even if you don't feel like it most days. 

With the holidays come parties. If you know me at all, you probably already know that I love a good party, so it's no surprise that when I got invited to my stinky dive bar's annual Christmas party, I was pretty damn excited. Especially since I'm my boss' only employee which means there's no office party or anything of that nature. Which, honestly, I'm thankful for because my boss doesn't ever need to be around to witness me in party mode. Ever. 

Unfortunately for this working girl right here, the Christmas party I got invited to fell on a Monday. This past Monday, to be exact. Like any responsible, hardworking, employee, I went ahead and asked my boss for a half-day the following Tuesday, AKA yesterday. Not because I doubted my abilities to jump back on the horse after a night of fun, but because I was advised by three different people, who attended last year's party, that I wouldn't be capable of moving before 11am the following day. 

Countless Jello shots, Fireball shots, car bombs, and lord only knows how many Bacardi Limon and ginger ale's later, they were right. 

When my alarm went off yesterday morning I was positive my apartment was crashing down on me and I was paralyzed. Point, Christmas party. 

I slept it off as late as I possibly could before I needed to get my ass to my desk and get something accomplished before I landed my ass on the unemployment list. It. Was. ROUGH. 

Somewhere around 1pm, when I couldn't get more than a soda water down in my belly, I got that ol' smack in the face I was discussing earlier. I'm pretty sure I could feel my liver cringing with every sip, hoping there was no vodka in that water. Hell, I felt myself cringing, hoping there was no vodka in that water. Not to mention, I couldn't even speak the words "Jello shot" without gagging. Yeah, it was that bad. 

I guess the moral of this story is that, once again, I'm very much 26 despite what the devil on my shoulder tries to tell me when someone hands me my fourth consecutive pineapple barf Jello shot. The hangover struggle is real, y'all. 

It's back to Miller Lite, Chardonnay, and the occasional Fireball shot for this girl. You know, once I've actually recovered. Because if we're being real here, I'm still rocking traces of this damn hangover from hell, and I'm sorry if that disappoints some of you. Which, if I know some of you readers out there, you're most definitely shaking your head in serious disappointment. 

RIP 21 year old party Whit. 

Don't forget to enter for your chance to win one of this month's IWYP By: Whitney Ellen shirt. Two winners will be chosen and announced tomorrow! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Budget Deal at Expense of Military Retirees

Monday 16 December 2013

Congress has been trying to work on a budget deal that will pass so the government doesn't shut down again.  Rep Paul Ryan and Sen Patty Murray struck a bipartisan budget deal last week.

But this budget deal negatively impacts current and future military retirees. This part of the budget deal affects the COLA (cost of living allowance annual raises to keep up with inflation) for military retirees under the age of 62. As of right now, retirees receive a portion of their retirement pay in COLA; this deal will have those 62 and under receiving 1% less in COLA each year of retirement until age 62.

While 1% doesn't seem like much it ends up being almost 20% of retirement pay over 20 years. An enlisted military member who is, on average, age 40 and retires with 20+ years of service will stand to lose $83K over 20 years. A typical officer retiring at age 42 would lose $124K. How quickly that 1% adds up.

Military members depend on, and factor in, the full COLA as part of their retirement pay when they are planning for their future. Losing 20% of their retirement pay will negatively impact thousands of military families.

What makes this frustrating is Congress previously set up the Military Compensation and Retirement Modernization Commission last year. Promises were made that any changes to retirement would be 'grandfathered' in; current retirees and actively serving members were to be protected.

This budget deal allows no provisions for grandfathering in current retired and active military members.

As the spouse of a military member who just hit his 21-year anniversary and can retire at any time, I'm very concerned about how this deal is going to affect our future retirement savings. Joe has served honorably for 21 years and he, like all other military retirees, deserves his full pension.

Balancing the budget should not affect military retiree pay when there are other places that the budget could be trimmed. What about all the overseas spending support we give to other countries? What about the U.S. bomber planes coming in at $87 billion - 47% more than estimated?

You can read more in the following articles: Budget Deal Hits Military Retirees With Pension Cuts and Military Retirees: You Betrayed Us Congress.

According to this article, the $7 billion in savings over the next 10 years wouldn't even go to deficit reduction or paying down debt, but instead to finance increased government spending! You can read this article Fact vs Fiction on Military Personnel Costs and The Truth About Military Personnel Costs to refute the false claims about the military personnel spending accounts in relation to the budget/deficit.

A Legislative Action has been set up through the Military Officer's Association of America to easily contact your state reps and let them know you don't agree with cutting military retiree pay. This form is so easy to use; just put in your name and address and hit send - it will automatically send to your state reps and the form is pre-filled (although you can change it to write what you want as well).

If you are a Twitter user you can can tweet about this using #keepyourpromise to spread the word. There is also a "Twitter Town Hall" online event tonight, Mon Dec 16, at 9pm EST.

 

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I Call Her "Sir"

Friday 13 December 2013

I would just like to start off this post by mentioning that Beyonce randomly put out a brand new album on iTunes without any sort of hype or teasers prior to. Clearly, Queen Bey and I are on the same wave length since I just posted about her on Wednesday and had zero clue this phantom album was even in the works. 

Obviously this means you may all now call me Queen Whit. Never mind, that doesn't even have a ring to it. 

Anyways, I woke up to 50 degree weather this morning which, for this Floridian, is basically freezing temperatures and I'm pretty sure we should have gotten a snow day today.

Walking Ella was painful, I was so cold, and she really didn't seem to care. Must be nice having all that fur. Not to say I'd like to be furry... because, really, that probably wouldn't be too cute on me. Either way, I'm pretty sure I rushed her morning biz and now I'm going to owe her one hell of a walk when I get home this afternoon. 

She's lucky she's so damn cute. 

Which reminds me, we've been calling her "Sir Ellerton" lately, "sir" for short. I wish I was kidding but, for some reason, it's gotten picked up and now both bear and myself continue to refer to my little princess as "sir". The few people who have been over and have heard this new name have been real confused about this, but we can't stop. (and we won't stop)

Except I think it's getting a little out of hand, considering when I was ready for her to get out of bed to go on our walk this morning, she promptly responded to my saying "Let's go out, sir." and hopped right on out of bed and into her harness. Oops.

Then there was last weekend, when we brought her to the pet store, we were somewhere around the treat isle when she started to sniff as if she were about to mark something (Anyone else's female dog mark things like a boy?). I gave a little tug on her leash, followed by a "Hey sir, get over here.", and then bear quickly told me to stop calling my girl dog, who's adorned in a pink harness, "sir" in public. 

So is the circus of my life.

Anyways, let's make it real short and sweet this week because I couldn't be more ready for the weekend. I need some sleep and I need some socializing because I only went out once this week and I left before midnight because I've had to be at work earlier than normal the last few days. 

Let's #backthatazzup and have a great weekend!

You go listen to this right now and tell me this isn't the jam. Can't get enough.
I JUST WANT TO DRIP IN SWAGOO!

It's #backthatazzup Friday!

The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.

The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.

The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!

Click here for a tutorial on how to embed a song in your post.

Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!

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Inhale Love - Exhale Hate

Thursday 12 December 2013

A few days ago bear and I were walking out to my car in the parking garage of my apartment complex. Bear was busy rambling on about where we were going to go eat, because that's typically where his head is at 50% of the time, I'm sure you can guess where it is the other 50% of the time. (If you guessed Fantasy Football, you're right.) While he's pleading for a trip to Olive Garden for soup and salad, I came across a homeless dollar laying on the floor.

Jackpot. 

No one was around to claim it, even better. "I can now buy a half of a PBR", was the first thought that came to mind, then I tossed the homeless dollar in my purse and off to dinner we went. 

Two days later I, sort of, forgot about the dollar until I was walking by this man that I always see in his wheelchair around my building at work. He's known around Downtown Orlando as a staple, pretty much, and he uses the money he makes to support his family and not to get fucked up like the majority of the rest of them who panhandle in the area. Who, may I add, typically scare the shit out of me by screaming at imaginary people in the middle of the road. 

This man is different though, this man offers you a soda or a bottle of water when you donate money to him. He's the kind of person who makes me wish I had a lot more money in my bank account so I could easily throw $50 in his bucket and not think twice about it. Unfortunately, I'm not capable of such a donation at this point in my life, so I handed him that dollar I found, plus two more I had, and the smile that ran across his face just about caused me to breakdown and cry right there, in the middle of Downtown Orlando. 

Clearly I'm still a bit unstable with my emotions.

Either way, he made my week with that smile and it inspired me to do a little more giving this holiday season. While I'd love to be able to be Ellen status and give away 12 days worth of things I love here, I'm not ballin' like that, so I'm not going to be able to do quite that much for you all. Plus, I hear you're not supposed to ship things like wine and Fireball, and there's only a few of you who live close enough to win a hug from me, or multiple soggy kisses from Ella, so none of that is going to work either. 

Soooo, what I've decided to do is give two of this month's IWYP By: Whitney Ellen shirts away to two lucky people. (and don't worry if you've already paid for yours, we will work something out if you end up being one of the lucky ones.) Winners will be picked and contacted next Thursday. And yes, this is open to international ladies, too. 

I'm only putting a Rafflecopter here right now because it will save me time, but I'm going to do my best not to make you jump through a million hoops because, real talk right now, I loathe entering giveaways. So, let's make this as painless as possible and good luck!

See you tomorrow for #backthatazzup! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Be The Beyonce Of Your Blog

Wednesday 11 December 2013

No need to adjust your screen. I'm still here, I'm still blogging, I still really enjoy doing it (I really hope you all giggled at my use of "doing it"), and I don't have any plans of checking out of this joint just yet. Which all seems to be the opposite of the current feelings of many bloggers I've seen dropping off the blogosphere lately, who are just plain over it. While I can completely respect where everyone is coming from, I can't say I've been feeling the same way. Kind of the opposite, really. 

Wow, way to be an arrogant bitch, Whit. Except I promise that's not where I'm going, I'm simply here to answer a few questions I get asked regularly and, maybe, give those of you having thoughts of falling off the blogosphere edge a little tug to stay aboard. So, yes, this is technically a post about blogging, which I tend to try and stray away from to avoid the cliches that trail along with them, but it's time. I'm ready to let it out. PUT ME IN COACH! 

Most often, the questions I get are something along the lines of: "How do you find things to post about 5 days a week?", "Did you see this written about you (referring to something negative)?", "How are you so brave to share all of this stuff where anyone can read it?". They go on, and on, and on, but that's the gist of my more popular questions and my answer to them all is one that I'm here to elaborate on today.

Posting five days a week:

Posting five days a week can be exhausting, I'm not even going to pretend it's not. Here's the thing though, I chose to start this blog and I chose to give myself the goal of writing five posts a week. Just as I chose both of those things, I can also choose to play hookie a few days a month if I feel like it. Because this is my interwebz house and if I want to stay home and watch The Price is Right all day long, then that's what I'm going to do. Because I can. Because I built this house and I make the damn rules. 

Basically, this is how I like to walk into my blog every morning and again when I walk away from it to sign off at night...

Because here's the deal, if you aren't the Beyonce of your own blog, no one else is going to pick up the slack for you. Thus, you fall off the stage. And let's be real, I think we all know that Kelly and Michelle aren't nearly fierce enough to drive this boat without Beyonce. 

Make your own rules and don't worry about what anyone else is doing. Be the Beyonce of your own blog. 

Dealing with the negative:

For me, this is the one I see a lot of bloggers jump ship for more than anything. It's also the reason I can sympathize with most because, well, simply put... Mo' readers, mo' problems. I also relate to this one because it's something I've dealt with for the majority of my life, as I feel the majority people have. If you haven't, you probably just never heard about it. Also, Santa's not real. Sorry you had to hear that from me but it's time.

The thing is, with blogging it's so easy for people to get a wrong sense of who you are because, for the most part, our voices are being read by someone who's never met us. It's so easy for typed words to be misread, whether in a tone not intended by the writer, or read by someone who simply has a different sense of humor and/or beliefs. So, yeah, pissing people off comes with the territory of blogging and putting yourself out there. It's cool though, if everyone agreed with everything you said, the world would be a pretty boring place.

I guess my biggest piece of advice on this one is... 

You can. not. please them all. Ever. Ever. You really can't. So, just go ahead, style that weave, and Beyonce to them all, because do you think Queen Bey cares if someone hates her? Answer: Hell no she doesn't because she's Beyonce and she gives zero fucks. 

Let it go, stay positive, and continue to stay true to the writer Beyonce you want to be. 

Braving the public eye:

There's very little I keep secret around here. The good, the bad, the ugly, the Beyonce. If it's happened to me it's probably going to make it on this refrigerator at least once. I grew up writing about my life experiences, though, just ask anyone who's still around from the old days of LifeJournal (I'm looking at you, shrinking woman, Faith). 

Like I said previously, you can't please them all. You just have to write for you and, as long as you back the words you write with confidence, you have no reason to hide. 

Honestly, I love it here. I love writing, I love sharing my stories, and I love the community (for the most part). Are there days when I write things that I feel will get more attention than they actually do? Absolutely. But those are usually the days that the post I've written is one that I'm proud of, therefor I give it enough hype and attention in my own head that it's probably a good thing no one else really loved it. 

Sometimes you just have to love on your own blog. You know why?

That's right, because you know damn well that Bey re-watches her performances and loves the ever living shit out of them. If you don't love on your own blog, why would anyone else love on it?

It's ok to be proud of a post you write. It's ok to give yourself attention. It's ok the Beyonce the hell out of every single day you show up to blog. 

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Christmas Gift Ideas

I have such a hard time figuring out what to get my kids for Christmas. While I wouldn't say they are spoiled (they don't have all the latest electronic gadgets ... I have a Kindle that they can use and they share an old Ipod Touch that Joe's mom handed down to us, but they don't use either on a regular, daily basis), they do have plenty.

I have a closet full of toys that I need to purge from the house. They have books, puzzles, train table, Barbies, doll house, cars, balls, different kinds of building blocks, kitchen set with food that they still use, board games, dress up clothes, etc.

They don't ask for much either, so there isn't much that they say the want. Although several months ago Lucas was with me at Staples and saw the display of the "Easy" buttons. For some reason he thought pushing it and hearing "That was easy!" was the neatest thing. He's actually asked for that for Christmas. "I want the "that was easy!" button!" Well, ... that was easy! I haven't actually bought it yet; I'm not sure if my sanity can take hearing that going all day. But he has consistently mentioned it when talking about Christmas.

Kayla is getting the Our Generation Doll - Daisy mostly because I thought it looked like her with the longer blond hair and the glasses.  I think she will be excited to see a doll with glasses. I wasn't sure at first about getting this for her because she's 10 ... and I just didn't know if 10 year olds play with dolls anymore. But I put it out there on FB and it was an overwhelming "yes!" and there are several 9 and 10 year olds who are getting these type of dolls for Christmas. I think this will be a hit with Kayla.

Lucas recently went to a LEGO birthday party and received a little kit in his goody bag. He doesn't have any LEGOS, yet. Mostly because I knew it would (will) drive me crazy because they will end up all over the floor. But he has been having fun with this little kit, so I finally decided to get him a set. He also recently started asking about magic kits so he'll be getting one of those too.

If you're still looking for some ideas too I've recently blogged about the Switch and Go Dino, Boogie Board, Ziggle, uKloo, and We Sing 80s. Another idea for a stocking stuffer is this game called Tenzi. This is such a fun and easy game for the whole family to play. This is also helping Kayla with some of her vision exercises as she has to use her eyes together to quickly scan all of her dice looking for a specific number. There are multiple variations of play so you can change things up. This has been a big hit with our family.

What gifts are your kids getting? I know there are lots of ideas out there that I haven't thought of yet, and products I don't know about. So, please share!

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"Marzipan"

Tuesday 10 December 2013

"Marzipan" 

Sheets sticky with indulgent streaks
that Tide's extra strength will never Gain.
Delightfully dirty this mind
recalling each delicious stain.
The strain of overflowing.
The constant pain of knowing
just how long it would last.
I'm chasing remnants of our past.

If I chip away,
I will save all of the crumbs.
There isn't much to say
between index and thumb
and the tongue that licks them clean.
This blood boils over your body oil.
Had endless dreams about your hair sheen.
Imagining every last scene.
My malted milky mallomar........ 
you made me travel so far.
Spent some ages down south.
Made some sense of my mouth.
Laid renewal upon shoulders of the willing.
Me.
He who would bridge tooth and sink nails
until your ship began to sail.

Frail I look in perception.
Rugged in appearance.
Appealing to potential clearance
but can't shake the interference.
Peruse my path without a cane.
Kept it narrow. Made it plain.
My desire never sane.
I'm licking my fingers again.

Do you ever wonder?
How often do you notice?
We have displayed it certainly.
I lay here next to uncertainty
and I am forever restless.
My best wish and worst fear
would be to draw you near.
That in mind, I want you here.
You need to know.
I've so much to show you
but that moment would be brief.
I may never stave this grief......

I've fashioned you in flavors:
labored in silky ribbons
stretching over every cloud,
proud to dip and drip with purpose,
feigning nervous with precision,
splashing wild into these palms
with no calm before the storm.
Spent my time trying to stay warm.
Night is coldest under covers.
Enticement hovers in my torment
and the torrents mar my vision.
All I want I have envisioned:
melting long enough to linger
but you still elude my fingers
as you coat my mind again.

It all rinses in the rain.....................

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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IWYP By: Whitney Ellen

Look at me go, everyone. I managed to make it back here for round two of IWYP By: Whitney Ellen. To say I was blown away by the outcome of the first month would be a massive understatement and I'm seriously so happy with the overwhelming feedback I've received and I can only hope this month continues on the same path!

This month, after many comments and requests, I went with a less blog specific theme to cater to those who aren't all about the blog related themes.

Now, I'm not sure I can speak for everyone on this, but I could spend hours on Instagram roaming the popular page, new friends, someone who liked a bunch of my photos, and most definitely hashtags. I can't deny, this month's t-shirt is completely inspired by a night about two months ago when I got sucked into Instagram, more specifically the hashtag #OOTD. With that, this month's shirt was born.

December: #OOTD
($25 + $5 US Shipping)
$3 added for shipping outside the USA

I'm pretty excited about this one because, not only can my non-blogging ladies enjoy it, I'm loving that it's one of those things you can't just look at and instantly know what it's about... Well, that is, unless you're a hashtag roamer, like myself.

As always, I assure your shirt will be one of the most comfortable shirts you own. Almost more comfortable than the t-shirts you've been wearing for years. I know this because I personally did a feel test, sounds naughty, on about ten different t-shirts until I found the one. With that being said, your shirt also has screen printed tags, so you wont have to worry with itchy tags on the back of your neck.

One of my most favorite parts is that, in addition to no itchy tag, the screen printed tags are custom, just for orders made through my blog! Sorry guys, this part still hasn't worn off for me. Still really exciting!

As always, each and every single order goes through my hands before being placed in the hands of your mailman! They also include a free koozie which coincides with your shirt artwork. Just don't forget, you only have two weeks to get your order for this month's shirt in. Once the two weeks is up, so is your chance to ever get this month's design.

Never hesitate to contact me with questions, I'm here to help!

I am wearing a medium.

The fine print goes something like this:

1. For two weeks each month I will be taking pre-orders, if you will, for that specific month's t-shirt. It is a one month at a time pre-order, so you aren't committed to any other month's shirt but the one you are seeing on this blog. 

2. Once the two week pre-order period is up that shirt will no longer be offered, so make sure you don't miss the window to get that month's shirt. 

3. There are no surprises and, just like this post, you will know exactly what shirt you're getting when you pre-order. The shirt color, font color, and font selection you see here is what you will receive in the mail.

4. These are high quality t-shirts and are custom printed just for the orders taken here on my blog. Each shirt even comes with a custom 'IWYP by: Whitney Ellen' tag on them, which is far too exciting for me to handle. You will also receive a special free gift just for being awesome and ordering a shirt. 

5. Your shirt will be shipped one to two weeks after pre-order sales are over. Remember, they are custom printed for my blog so the wait will be worth it. 

6. All payments ($25 + $5 shipping or $8 shipping outside USA) must be made during the two week pre-order time period. While there is no limit on how many are sold, if your payment isn't made in the two week time period you will, unfortunately, miss out on that month's shirt. 

7. Be sure to double, triple, check the size chart below to assure you are ordering the correct size because all sales are final due to the customization of the shirts.

However if, for some reason, you decide you want to back out before the two week pre-order period has ended you will get a 100% refund.

***NEW*** There is also a 2XL option without v-neck! 

**Click HERE to order**

Orders will be accepted until Tuesday, December 24th at 11:59pm Eastern Time.

Click Here

Click Here

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