home
Margaritas on a school night... not my brightest idea ever. Especially when you drink 3, eat tacos, and your entire bill only totals $10. I should really be chalking that up to a win but I have a feeling it's going to be biting me in the ass here in a couple hours. Stay tuned.
Today I'm about to make my friend Sarah feel real proud because today I've got to talk about football a little bit. Don't go running for the hills, those of you who aren't into the sports thing, this shouldn't be difficult to follow.
Here's the deal, there's a
Did I mention that homeboy is a Florida Gator? Yeah, obviously that explains a lot.
PS. Go Noles.
Anywho, as I'm watching this story unfold, I can't help but to think there should be some sort of orientation when you get drafted in the NFL. You know, like when you go away to college and you have to go sit in a room full of other scared freshman and listen to a bunch of teachers and older students chat about how to survive college.
So, I've decided I'm going to give my speech to the NFL newbies right here, right now. Because I'm positive the NFL is totally going to pick up this post and hire me as their new NFL orientation speaker. Duh.
Hey guys. How's it going? Pretty good, I assume, you all just signed some pretty awesome pieces of paper and I bet you're all feeling pretty damn good right about now, and not just because you're now guaranteed to get laid pretty much whenever any of you please.
You guys are about to make money, lots and lots, and lots more, of money. You're going to be able to do just about anything, and anyone, you want to do and that's just spectacular. We're all so very happy for you and excited for you all to embark on this fun filled new journey. Really, we are.
Let's all just remember that sometimes, there's some things that even Peyton Manning's bank account can't bail you out of. Like murder, for instance. Guys, you're going to have some strange seeds coming out of the woodworks who want to be part of your posse and those strange seeds are probably going to have some pretty stupid ideas. Don't give in to those stupid ideas, your futures are brighter than the yellow in the Oregon jerseys.
If you so feel the need to "be strapped", how about we just stick to maybe one hand gun and a few bullets? We really, really don't need automatic weapons or any other heavy duty assault weapons. It just isn't necessary, unless you're up to no good... which none of you are going to be. Right? RIGHT.
Which reminds me, let's all say the following 3 times in a row: Hugs not drugs. Hugs not drugs. Hugs not drugs.
Because remember, you can get all of the strange ass you want now. You're going to be beating them away with a stick... but please don't actually beat them, that's also not good for anyone's reputation.
Don't let me down guys, you've got this. Congrats to you all again.
Hugs not drugs! Smooches and toodles to all of ya.
And to end this, let's #backthatazzup.
It's #backthatazzup Friday!
The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.
The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.
The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!
Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
Oh oh. PS I just realized I can link up with SARAH this week!!
Home
Post a Comment