5 Dating Rules I Suck At

Woof, what a morning. I almost didn't get a post in because I was busy sobbing in my desk chair before 9am thanks to spilled coffee and being frazzled by a certain boss of mine as soon as I walked in the building. Anyways, enough complaining...


Dating is really effing weird.
Really, really weird. There are all of these "rules" us chicks are supposed to follow that straight up confuse the Chardonnay right out of me.

Today, let's just go ahead and have a quick chat about these dating rules and why I'm absolutely horrible at following them. Though, I guess following rules isn't really my thing, as we all maybe caught on to during yesterday's post.

Don't text first.
Ok, so I get the initial text... maybe try your best to back off of that so you don't come off all stage 5 clinger. But shit, I like to talk, I think of weird things, inside jokes arrise in my head, and sometimes I just want to send a stupid text and not be judged for it. Dafuq is wrong with such a thing? A lot, apparently. Typically I fail at this rule, especially after a few adult bevies. My bad.

Don't be readily available.
Apparently there's this rule in dating where you're not allowed to be able to hang out with your flavor of the week any given time he invites you to do something. Well shit, guys, if I'm getting offered free sushi why the hell would I turn that down? Homegirl is ballin' on a tight little budget over here, free sushi, sake, and maybe a beer, sounds just swell to me.

Behave and don't drink too much.
I think it's safe to say there's no way in hell this one is even remotely possible for me to follow and I also think it's safe to say that if anyone trying to date me is looking for someone who behaves, they're barking up the wrong friggen tree. Amiright? I say this rule can just go ahead get lost because if you can't keep up with me, or if you try to tame me, you gotta hit the road, Jack. Like my bestie Miley says, "I can't be tamed". Nope, I can not.

Play the game.
I really, really, reallyreallyreally, can not stand this universal "game" dudes feel the need to play with us chickidees. First of all, I was never in "game" sports growing up. I danced and there's no game to that shit, so maybe that's why I absolutely suck at this, but in all seriousness ain't nobody got time for this nonsense. If you're going to make me work for you, I'm probably going to become very uninterested and quick. Let's not forget, when it rains it pours and you, Jack, are just a little drizzle. Kbye.

Can't mention dance without a Whitopotamus sighting.

Don't have a blog.
Jay kay. I just wanted a number 5.
Except I'm pretty sure it will take a long time of me seeing someone to let them in on this little hangout spot of mine. I can't even fathom the look I will get once that day comes. Holy anxiety, just thinking of such a thing. Someone, hold me.

And now I know you all are now just amazed at how someone who is so good at following all of these rules could possibly be single, except I'm pretty sure I just actually enjoy it and maybe that's why I refuse to follow the "rules". Or maybe I'm just a stubborn, little Leo who likes to move to the beat of her own drum. Yep, going with that last one.

Have a good one, I'm outta here.


PS. Go check out Allie's new blog design I pulled out of my bum yesterday while my creative juices were flowing. Also wish her blog a happy 1 year birthday because who doesn't like a good reason to celebrate?