homeA lot of people aren't down with this boxed wine movement and I'm here today to tell you why those people are flat out wrong and why boxed wine is the only decision you need to make when you're pacing up and down the wine isle at the grocery store, unsure of which $5 bottle of wine to select.
There are FOURTEEN glasses of wine in one box.
Do you know how many glasses a little bottle of wine averages? Four. Those of you who aren't so great at math, I got my calculator out and guess what? A box holds TEN more glasses of wine than a bottle. Just wrap your mind around that and let it explode.
You can get a box of wine that looks like a purse.
Call me easily amused but that's just spectacular and classy. So, while you're doing your Pinterest projects, which are likely to be failed projects, with your bottles of wine, I'm going to be over here making some snowflakes out of the leftover boxes I've got going on.
Saves trips to the grocery store.
Is there anything worse than coming home and realizing you had a heavier buzz than you realized last night because you finished the wine and didn't even remember doing it? (Just say yes) That rarely ever happens to me with boxed wine. You know why? Because there's FOURTEEN damn glasses in that mofo and that makes it much more challenging to clear out in one night. Trust me, I've tried.
Katie Holmes thinks boxed wine is the tits.
And let's get real, if Joey Potter thinks it's cool, it's gotta be really damn cool because Joey was always such a class act.
Let's not talk about the Tom Cruise thing, k?
The bladder floats.
Going out on the lake and need a floatation device? The plastic bag inside of the cardboard box friggen floats which gives you optimal opportunities to not only save your life but also get hammered drunk on the water. Win, win, wine!
You can smuggle little boxed wine in places.
Going to the movies? Tag along your mini boxed wine and get your drink on during the movie. Going to a party without alcohol? Come on little buddy, you're coming to keep mama happy and sane. These guys will be your best buds. The best part? You can even shove a straw in those bad boys. #mindblown
Boxed wine will keep you on budget.
That's right, those pesky $5 headaches in a bottle may seem lighter on your wallet compared to the $13 price tag on a box of Franzia but just remember the glass ratio. I wont even attempt the math here because I forgot how to use a scientific calculator but I have enough smartz to know that boxed wine is just more economical. It's Science. Or math?
Bring a box with you and you'll be the life of the party.
True story, I have a special cooler that fits my boxed wine like a little glove. I like to bring it to the pool on Saturdays when I'm maxin' and relaxin'. You want to know what happens when I bust that baby out? I'm instantly everyone's new bestie and everyone wants to sit by me. It's a damn conversation piece and you wont be sorry when everyone around you is conversing of boxed wine. Boom, hero for the day.
It's got a convenient spout.
No dealing with corks and screws and foil and dropping cork pieces in your beloved wine. Just open the cardboard hole and let that sweet nectar of the gods flow out into your glass like the liquid gold it is. Just try not to let your mouth water too much as it's flowing out. You do want a nice, full glass, after all. You do have 13 more to pour after that one.
You can call it cardbordeaux and sound all fancy like.
If you're not ready to fully admit you're a fan of the boxed wine, just go ahead and throw the term "cardbordeaux" at your friends. They'll be super impressed and think you're an expert wine enthusiast. Which you obviously are, duh.
And there you have it, my friends. 10 completely valid points as to why you should all be ditching those little bottles of wine and go for the box. You can thank me later. I accept all brands of boxed wine.
Now let's cheers with some delicious cardbordeaux and #backthatazzup!
This week I'm kicking it with Amy Winehouse and a song that I can't help but to back my azz up to. Enjoy, link up, and have a fabulous friggen weekend!
It's #backthatazzup Friday!
The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.
The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.
The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!
Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
Home
Post a Comment