Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Reading through celeb gossip this week was slightly painful for me, mostly because I just don't understand how some of these idiots are making $100,000 an episode and I'm just over here waiting for my offer. It'll happen, self. Yes it will.

This week we're starting with two stories from two different Glee stars. Who knew such happy little characters could be up to no good?

Cory Monteeth, or however it's spelled, has been shipped off to live with LiLo. Kidding, kind of. He's off to some, I'm assuming, fancy rehab facility to deal with his "substance abuse" probz and his little girlfriend, Lea Michelle, is just so proud of him for getting help. 

Seeing as how this is Hollywood and not real life, my guess is she's going to hit the road soon... Which is probably good because I've heard LiLo is all about the fresh meat. Good luck, Cory. I'm sure the writers of Glee are so pleased to be rewriting episodes now that you'll be absent for at least two of them. Tough life.

I'm not really sure if any of you watched So You Think You Can Dance back in the first few seasons when it was a really, really awesome show, but I watched Heather Morris get rejected on that show which made me really sad, until she landed a spot on the Glee cast list. Homegirl can dance circles around JT and Ursher, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways, I'm babbling and not getting to the point. She's got a little critter growing inside of her!

Yayyy, Heather. That little spawn is sure to come out with moves like Jagger from the second it takes it's first breath!

You know why I'll make an awesome celebrity one day? I'm sure you're naming a million reasons, duh, but the one I'm thinking of is because I love to make dumb decisions. However, one Z list celeb has just confirmed that I'll never be the dumbest celeb to walk the planet. One hit wonder, Ryan Cabrera, recently played a game of "tattoo roulette", as he called it, with his friends where they blindfold one another and choose the tattoo for the other person. Ryan's new addition?

Freaking Ryan Gosling on his leg. For life. 

I'm sorry but if Ryan Gosling is going to be anywhere on me for life, he's going to be physically on top of me. Shirtless.

The end.

Apparently Heidi Klum is some sort of super human and I would be lying if I said I wasn't horribly drenched in jealous of her, just in general. Seriously though, she just took her perfection to a new level when she saved her kids and freaking nanny from DROWNING. What a boss!

Eat your heart out, Baywatch.

You go, Heidi Coco!

Last up today is slightly depressing. I'm not really sure why I'm ending on a depressing note but it just feels right. Bradley Cooper, that sex pot, isn't really much of a sex pot right now and I'm just really sad about it. He had a little visit from the 80's, also known as a perm, and I'm just so unsure about this new look.

Whyyyyyy, Hollywood, whyyyy? I can't even take the photo on the left even a little bit seriously.

Jerry curls aint your thing, Bradley.

Thank goodness for hats... Call me, sugar plum.