Dude Answers to Chick Questions: NYC Edition

Today it's time for another edition of Dude Answers to Chick Questions except this edition is awesomer (It's a word to me, dammit.) because it's the New York edition. That's right, I did some work while I was there, contrary to what you may have seen in yesterday's post. I conducted an interview over an 18 pack of Miller Lites.

Enjoy.

Why do you use decorative towels to dry your hands?
- *insert very long pause here* ... "I don't."
   " because I don't dry my hands." 

With a start like that, I'm already feeling confident about this interview.



How successful is the "can I buy you a drink" line?
- "I have other lines that I use... they work better. You have to be creative."

He said something about a goldfish during this one but me being the skilled interviewer that I am, I don't understand what I wrote. Or maybe that was the beers. Either way, I prefer the free drink and that's that.



If you were a girl for a day what would you do?
- "I'd drink for free. Mess with guys... I like it when girls do that, so I'd do it."

Says the guy who wants to talk about goldfish instead of offering the drinks. I'm still convinced guys would sit in the mirror and stare at their boobs all day... That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.



Can you tell when a chick sucks at walking in heels?
- "These are very random questions..."
  "Um... I can tell when she falls... she looks like an idiot."
Does it make you laugh?
- "It makes me cringe." 
Would you buy her a drink?
- "I'd buy her a drink over the girl who can walk in heels because it's funnier. Really, if she's hot I couldn't care less if she can walk in heels or not."

How romantic.
It's all fun and games until she takes you down with her. I've seen it happen, not personal experience.


Do you dance in the mirror?
- *awkward silence*

This question was previously answered when I got to witness crime as it was happening. We all do it, it's ok.



If you opened a chick's fridge and she had a box of wine in there, what would you think?
- "This girl's a drinker. Let's grab this box and drink it together!"
What about if you opened her freezer and there was an 18-pack of Bagel Bites?
- "My girl, right there."
So after discovering both of these things you wouldn't think she's the most awesome chick in all of the land?
- "If she's hot..."

I didn't even have to pay for those answers.



*Now is the point in my notes where I just have weird comments written down... enjoy*

"These questions are stupid."

"Why does it smell like cleaning supplies?"
"Because they're cleaning."

"The interviewers are verbally abusive. Write that down."



Are beer goggles a real thing?
- "Yes because it lowers my caringness. (good word) It just makes me not give a f-word. Just like when I pee the bed... wait, don't write that down."

Caringness is my new favorite word.


Do blondes really have more fun?
- "I feel like I'm being interrogated."
   "I prefer brunettes (*cough*Erin*cough)... I just happen to date more [brunettes]."

Rude dot com slash org.


And that's a wrap for the New York edition of Dude Answers to Chick Questions.