Finding Your Best Friend in Blog Land

Today, my friends. Today I have a treat for you.
Do any of you remember when No Scrubs came out and then that one hit wonder rapper came out with the response, No Pigeons? Well, consider my post today a much classier response song to my amazing pants friend, Erin's, post yesterday.

You see, I'm not exactly up to date on what happens in the online dating world but I like to think, like Erin, I've got a pretty good idea of what goes down thanks to the blogging world.

So, here's my response to you, Erin:
Finding Your Best Friend in Blog Land: Whitney Edition

The Discovery
So, you've found a blog that you just can't help but feel connected to. The words, the writer, the photos, the stories... all of it. You skim and you browse, you practically memorize every last thing about the blogger, you discover they abandoned the exact same degree that you did, and you just realize that this blogger and you would be perfect together, as friends, making bad decisions together. You comment, you email, you twit, you Instagram, all of it.

Most of all, you've realized you're in love and you've got to be this blogger's friend.

Swapping Digits
This has, so far, been the most nerve racking for me. You see, I had to wear the yoga pants and offer up the digits first in this relationship, which is fine. Except I'm normally the one who is totally against said thing, if we're talking dating... which I guess we really aren't. I suppose finding a best friend in Blog Land is the exception to this rule of mine. Luckily I didn't get shut down and it ended up being the beginning of quite the love affair never ending conversation.

The Facebook Add
So, you've swapped numbers with your new friend. Now what? How do you really know you're not being catfished, as Erin so lightly put it? Well, you don't, really. So, the next most, completely not logical, thing to do is to stalk them out on Facebook until you find them and hit that friend request button. I mean, you have each other's digits and you stalk each other's blogs multiple times a day, you're definitely ready for this next step.

The Facebook Stalk
After the big Facebook add you get to do even more stalking, you know, to assure you're not being catfished some more. You click and click, you scroll and scroll, then click some more. Just like stalking someone you'd consider dating, you find yourself questioning other people photographed. "Who's that?! Why do they look like they're having so much fun together?! No, she's my bestie."... You get a wave or two of crazy girlfriend running through you, even though you realize you're insane and you've never actually met this person in real life. Somewhere along the clicking and scrolling you realize you both have an affinity for wearing tutus and day drinking and this entire arrangement is going to work out just fine.

Inappropriate Conversation
Amongst really getting to know one another you, somehow, venture into the land of Inappropriate Conversation, or the deal breaker. I don't really care if we're dating, friends, amigos, whatever... If you can't hold an inappropriate conversation with me, or easily get offended by said conversation, there's a good chance we probably wont hit it off. Once you realize you can drop multiple expletives and sexual innuendoes in one conversation, without offending the other person, you know you've got yourself a winner.

Or at least that's how this particular situation played out for me. Point: Erin

A Day Without Talking is a Day Without Sunshine
This one is pretty self explanatory, or so I think. Really though, once you meet this person, something just feels wrong when you go 24+ hours without speaking to one another. Most likely because you're both taking a bottle, or 6, to the head and can't figure out how to work your phone. 

When in Doubt, Snapchat Out
Honestly, at this point in your relationship, you're feeling pretty comfortable and there's nothing to hide and you're 99.999% sure there's no chance in a catfish scenario going down, it's time for Snapchat. Stupid, wine, ridiculous, dogs, meaningless, selfie, Snapchats. Fun for everyone. Weee.

Fireball Whiskey... Together We Can
You don't want to change your newly found soul mate... but you can try. Just a little. They might be a little afraid of some of your favorite things but that's okay, you can be the one to introduce them to fun, new things. And eat all of the bread because they don't like it...

Getting Seriously Serious
It's all been fun and games up until this point. The honeymoon phase, if you will. And then one of you has a rough day, so you confide in your new Blog Land bestie, unsure if you're crossing a boundary or if your new friend will be bothered by your sob fest. And then, just like that, something magical happens. You both realize you're both, sort of, going through exactly the same thing and are handling it the exact same way. Bam, you both get closer.

The Big Reveal
So, now you've really gotten to know each other through every sort of social media platform and countless textversations... they even saw your drunk vlog and didn't stop speaking to you... what's next? 4 straight days of frolicking and bad decisions, that's what. Flights booked, countdowns are happening (though only accurate when one of you reports...), and lots of outfit planning going down. You are as nervous as a first date. What if they don't like you in person? What if you drink too much Chard on the plane ride there and you're too sloppy to behave when they first meet you? What if your tutu goes flat? You just have to go for it, guys.

And that's exactly what I'm doing... I'm going to visit my Erin in NYC (oh, yes, did I mention she lives in my most favorite city in the world?.... she does.) T-minus 2 weeks from today!! (!!!!!!!!!!)
I imagine it'll look similar to this:

Moral of this story; sometimes you've just gotta wear the yoga pants, put your heart self on the line and go meet your Blog Land best friends. Or something? I don't really know if that's the moral of the story or not. Just go do it. Whatever it is.