"Gray Matters"

"Gray Matters"

The hardest questions to answer
Are the ones I can't evade.
I could use some illumination;
But I just sit back in the shade.
I watch the water stand still
Just before the sky blackens.
You would swear I'm right at home.
I never notice when it happens.
I don't have to find a way
Or scramble to hide away
When I can take one glance
And see the sun just ran away.

The hardest pills to swallow
come with consistent prescription.
Never mind the diagnosis.
I rarely ever cared to listen.
See, I know my reflection glistens
As sure as water is wet
So denial is not tradition.
I embrace all my regret.
I let time consume me whole.
It might even claim my soul
If I sit here long enough.
Guess I knew it would get rough.
Nothing smooth across these pores.
Gave me silence. Give me more.
Do the job until it's finished.
Make light of this gruesome blemish.

Am I ugly? Are you squeamish?
I wonder who else might've seen this;
But I'm past the point of concern.
The stares used to burn;
But I'm indifferent to it all.
Downfall like cat calls.
Sharper hearing through thick walls.
Vision clear in what I hear.
I can't vouch for lack of trust
Without disclosing the lust.
Flushed between what I pursue
And the heartache that ensues.
The toilet backs up
And I wake back up;
Submerged to my surprise
But never close to my demise.
Decrepit under it all,
I drift and await the fall.
I subscribe to lifeless labor
As grounded as every anchor;

But I still float back to shore.
Some call it hunger for more.
Others see it as my fate.
I've stopped asking what's in store.
Nothing offered by the merchant
Could truly ever be worth it.
If I'm flung back to the sea,
most of me would deem this worthless.

Most of me.

Some questions I still can't answer.
I may still look to evade.
The light is bright and warm.
I'm complacent in this shade;
But I glow beneath the garbs.
I'm not always willing to admit;
But I've no true will to quit.
Every dire decision is split.
Scenarios and variance.
Dormancy in decadence.
Made darkness my norm
Like I knew it wouldn't harm.
I observe the swarm:
My black hedge serving as shelter
from the hands that keep me warm
And the pain I've surely dealt her.

Trust unfamiliar as it sounds.
Fragments of atonement abound
And I've barely been around.
If it ever comes crashing down,
Before it cracks and hits the ground,
From the shade where I am bound
I will swiftly expose my crown.

Shells must remain hollow. No inquiry to follow.

 















Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

The Gray Always Matters.