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Since we all know Whitney is way too busy to blog on her birthday, because she's probably riding unicorns while double fisting boxed wine and Miller Lights, I volunteered to take over for the day. I'm Taylor from the The Daily Tay and I've gathered twenty six of Whit Whit's favorite things to wish her a very happy birthday. But because Miss Yoga Pants is basically the Prom Queen of blog land there wasn't enough time in the world to find everyone and everything that wanted to wish her a happy day, so feel free to add your own wishes below, we all know how Whit loves her some comments.
1. Thanks for always taking us out, even when you're a little hammered. Love you, mama!
XOXO Ella & Sebby
2. To my most loyal friend, companion and lover, I wish you nothing but the best day ever. I look forward to many many more years by your side.
Forever yours, Franzia
3. Thanks for making us the most popular station in all of blogland, and girl you look good why don't you back that ass up. Have a sweet ass birthday.
Holla, Backthatazzup Station
4. My God Whitney where do I even begin? Thank you for the constant updates and hilarious tid-bits about your life (especially your work life.) Out of all the celebs I interact with, you are my favorite.
Best, Twitter
5. Hey since it's your birthday wanna get back together?
-Every Ex Boyfriend You've Ever Had
6. Whitney, seeing as I've been 26 for 7 months longer than you have, I am older and wiser, so I have some tips...
Tips For Being Twenty Six:
N- Never leave the bar without hitting bullseye
O- Order more fireball than you did at 25
L- Love yourself more than anyone else
E- Every penny saved is a box of wine earned
S- Stuff starts sagging at 30. Flaunt what you got now.
Go Noles. Happy birthday, love!
7. To our best customer in Florida, thank you for paying our rent every month. Now please stop by for a few hundred Fireball shots. We love you so much.
Sincerely, Your Corner Bar
8. Quit dicking around with that sushi crap and come home and celebrate with your real family already.
Hugs, Bagel Bites
9. Deeeeeear Whitty Sparkle Pony:
You are the bacon to my eggs. The peas to my carrots. The Tervis to my Franzia. The Bagel Bites to my Easy Mac. The Mini Me to my Dr. Evil. Juuuuuuust the two of us, forever and ever amen. Happy birthday, my little OG bunny!
-Tyler @Arkansassy
10. Enough is enough.
Regretfully, Your Kidney
11. Screw your kidney, let's celebrate. Happy birthday!!!
XOXO Alcohol
12. "Happy birthday to the lady who backed her azz up right into blogging and raised the bar in the funny department for the rest of us. Whitney you are a gem of a gem and I am so thankful for your drunken vlogs, love of glitter, and two hundred and ninety thousand tweets. You deserve the best day full of bagel bites, boxed wine, and non douchey men. Thanks for loving us all so well, we love you even more."
-Erin @Living In Yellow
13. You might think you're my #1 fan, but what if I blew your mind and told you I might be yours? It's true, I don't lie ask Leslie. Keep partying in the USA, girlfriend.
XOXO Miley
14. What do you call heaven in a box? A Lunchable. What do you call heaven in yoga pants? Whitney! Thanks for being the only twenty-six year old who still enjoys us.
Gratefully yours, Lunchables
15. Happy Birthday Whit! I mean you Whitney, not me Whitney....although that's right! It's my birthday too! I hope you have a super fantastic day. You're the sweetest, funniest, coolest Whitney I know. Aside from myself of course. I'm so glad that I stumbled upon your blog however it happened. I don't know what I'd do without your stories, wit, and wisdom. Well not too much wisdom. I am older after all. Anywho. Love you to bits! Leos rock. (I also included mutual selfies...because clearly self love is something else we have in common.)
16. It's your birthday?
Your Boss
17. It's time to slam a few and get weird. You put the lit in Light and the ler in Miller. I don't know what that means either, but you know what I mean.
LYLAS, Miller Light.
18. My dearest Whittyface,
I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are all very happy that you have made it to your 26th year! There were times when that was definitely questionable.. I mean anyone that reads your Monday posts knows this. I hope that your big day is filled with all the bagel bites, Chardonnay, and sexy men that your little heart can handle. I sincerely wish that I was there to celebrate with you, but only so I could capture some blog material and shove Fireball shots down your hatch. Cheers to 26 pretty lady!
xoxo, Samilicious
LYLAS, Miller Light.
18. My dearest Whittyface,
I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are all very happy that you have made it to your 26th year! There were times when that was definitely questionable.. I mean anyone that reads your Monday posts knows this. I hope that your big day is filled with all the bagel bites, Chardonnay, and sexy men that your little heart can handle. I sincerely wish that I was there to celebrate with you, but only so I could capture some blog material and shove Fireball shots down your hatch. Cheers to 26 pretty lady!
xoxo, Samilicious
19. Thank you for making us about more than just being see-through perv pants.
-Yoga Pants
-Yoga Pants
20. Happy Birthday Whitopotamus. You have taught me that Bagel Bites are a food group, that when doctors say you need 8 glasses a day they're talking about wine and that nothing backs your ass up more than Friday's and Pandora. I'll start taking donations for your liver transplant immediately.
Brin @ Bold Butter Baby
Brin @ Bold Butter Baby
21. My lady love, my wish to you on your happiest of days such as this, the day of your twenty-sixth birthday, I hope you remember all the good times we've had together. That time i bought you all those shots.
That time i helped you stretch at the bar because you got that cramp from dominating at pool.
or that time i gave you that lapdance for your quarter of a century birthday.
If you don't remember any of this it's because I did my job in getting you beat up, black out drunk for the best day of your entire year. Happy birthday whitney pants. Here's to another year of making questionable decisions.
22. Let's party like it's New Years.
Besties for the resties, Glitter
Besties for the resties, Glitter
23. Whitty Cakes -
You've made 25 proud and its time now to show 26 how it's done. I hope your biggest concern today is what flavor Gatorade to drink and that you consume more Fireball shots than ever before. I feel like saying all the sappy stuff about how great of a friend you are and how much you make me laugh and how I owe you my first child's name just isn't our style, but I'll say it anyways. Thanks for the countless G-Chats that make work a little less painful and throwing good music my way. Thanks for making me step up my game in the wine department and for giving me the prettiest of blog designs in all the land. I hope you have the best birthday ever. I did want to send you something from your birthday wish list, so you're welcome. One last word: #bulldozed.
Love you,
Toatsy @Tales of a Twenty Something
You've made 25 proud and its time now to show 26 how it's done. I hope your biggest concern today is what flavor Gatorade to drink and that you consume more Fireball shots than ever before. I feel like saying all the sappy stuff about how great of a friend you are and how much you make me laugh and how I owe you my first child's name just isn't our style, but I'll say it anyways. Thanks for the countless G-Chats that make work a little less painful and throwing good music my way. Thanks for making me step up my game in the wine department and for giving me the prettiest of blog designs in all the land. I hope you have the best birthday ever. I did want to send you something from your birthday wish list, so you're welcome. One last word: #bulldozed.
Love you,
Toatsy @Tales of a Twenty Something
24. Happy Bday, Whitney. I got you a copy of Paula Deen's new cook book no one is buying because she is racist.
Missing You, Cook Book Boy
Missing You, Cook Book Boy
25. Whitney, wishing you a hot and sexy birthday...
Love Raven {photo submitted by Raven herself, obviously.}
Love Raven {photo submitted by Raven herself, obviously.}
26. To my dearest blog land bestie: You came storming into my life faster than the first shot of Fireball you shoved down my throat on our first get together. From that moment on I knew that we would be absolutely inseparable and boy was that the understatement of the century. Without you my days would be as dark as the bags under our eyes after a night out at the bar downing every last drop of Miller Light in the place. There's no one else in the world I'd rather spend my drunken text convos with and there's only one person I'd ever want to consider the Amy Poehler to my Tina Fey. And that my pretty princess of a unicorn would be you. Happy 26th Birthday my dear, I'll be here to celebrate the next 100 more. Don't do anything that I wouldn't do, and by that I mean do everything that I would do plus a little more. I love you!
And there you have it, twenty six birthday wishes for your twenty sixth. Cheers to you Miss Yoga Pants, you're one of the funniest, wittiest, blogtastic girls I (don't technically) know... I hope you've had a wonderful two weeks celebrating your day of birth. We're all anxiously awaiting the hangover post on Monday.
BPF (Blog Pals Forever)
And that concludes the longest blog post I have ever written.
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