Don't Piss Off Bloggers

There are some people in this world you simply just shouldn't piss off.
Public bloggers would be among those people you simply shouldn't piss off. For many reasons, really. Mostly because we have the advantage of reaching out to quite a few people through various social media platforms in addition to these blogs we word vomit in daily.

Like I've said, there are plenty of people in my real life who have no idea about this space so, really, I try to go easy on those people. Well, aside from cookbook boy, but that had to be documented. Other than that instance, it'd almost be less fun to blast the other crazy exes of Whitney past here because I'd get no satisfaction of knowing they'd see it.

Today, today is different. Today I'm going to give you all an example of why you should really refrain from pissing off a public blogger. Especially if you're a guy and you're well aware that your ex has a public blog with some pretty awesome and loyal readers.

Dear "Masey",

Enjoy. This one's just for you!

So, around 11am yesterday I got a text from said ex, we'll call him "Masey", asking to go to lunch. I said "no". Then he asked for happy hour. Again, I said "no". After poking for answers and explanations of why, I finally caved and let him know why we can no longer do these happy hours and lunches as "friends", which is what the understanding has been anytime I agreed to hang out with "Masey".

Here's the part where I have to interrupt to quickly add in a little note to let all of you guys out there know that chicks are not the crazy ones. Sure, I am positive there are some crazy bitches out there, but I'm going to say it right here, right now. From my experience, you dudes are the crazy ones. Don't believe me? Allow me to plead my case using some hard evidence that blew up my telephone yesterday morning, while I was minding my own business, trying to get some work done.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Keep in mind, I never told him I was trying to steal his virtue, or even that I wanted to run him over with a semi. (Though I wouldn't mind that right about now.) I simply let homeslice, who is clearly fit for a straight jacket, know that I was kind of into someone else. You know, because I don't want the possibility of messing things up with someone new for an old ex fool like this guy. And that turned into the Guinness (mmm, now I want beer.) World Record for most expletives used in one strand of text messages.

Twenty-two is not only the number for how T.Swifty is feeling, it's also the number of consecutive messages I received from him before this angel of a woman from AT&T took care of him for me.

You go, Brenda Coco! My day will be great now.

LYLAS, Whit

If this doesn't prove my point that dudes are, in fact, the crazy ones then I just don't know what will.

Moral of this story:
- Some people need Xanex.
- Some people need a straight jacket.
- Your ex is your ex for a reason.
- Don't try to be your ex's friend.
- Especially if they're fit for a straight jacket.
- Hit up my girl Brenda if you have a crazy ex.

Oh, and never be a male reproductive organ to a chick who blogs publicly.
Spay and neuter your exes.
Over and out.