The Spoil-Your-Man Meal

Oh, man. Ohhh, mother effing man. I don't want to say it, I really don't, but shit I really just don't like this Monday at all. And I have absolutely no reason to complain, as I got the entire day Friday off, but sometimes a girl just needs to complain. Or something.

Chez Whit came out to play this weekend and I'm pretty sure if bear didn't want to love me forever (Why wouldn't he? Duh.) he totally does now. And by totally does I mean that he totally has to because I slaved in that kitchen as if Robert Irvine was screaming profanities over my shoulder. It was necessary, really, though. With the launch of my new t-shirt line and bear landing a new job, we've had a pretty great couple of weeks, so a nice celebration was definitely well overdue for us.

In addition to my most favorite pink champagne, which isn't a Rose' so it actually tastes good and not so sweet it sets my gag reflex off, I built up quite the menu that took some serious concentration and skill to pull off. 

On the menu:

Filet mignon

Balsamic garlic roasted sexy broccoli

Baked potato - Outback style

Dessert:

Peanut butter s'more croissants

I know I don't typically come here with recipes, but I feel like today can be the exception because I need all of you ladies to go spoil your man with this meal, pronto. Well, that is as long as you are kitchen capable. If you can not successfully cook a frozen meal, please don't attempt this meal, as you will most likely fail miserably, resulting in ordering a pizza in. Which isn't bad, we did that last night, but it will not end in the man spoiling meal I am providing here today. Sorry. Go watch some Food Network and keep your dreams alive, though. 

Oh, and veggie heads, feel free to look away. I'm sorry you have to witness this... and by sorry I mean that I'm sorry you don't get to taste the amazingness that is this meal. 

Filet Mignon

Ingredients:

2 - 8 ounce filets (Filet weight can vary.)

1 tbs of olive oil

1/2 stick of butter

1/2 stick of Kerrygold's garlic and herb butter

2 cloves of garlic chopped

salt and pepper

Instructions:

1. Take those thick chunks of filet goodness and season both sides with salt and pepper. Also, go ahead and preheat your oven to 400 degrees. 

2. Heat up a medium to large skillet to temperatures that scare you, and place the olive oil and 1/2 stick of regular butt in there until you actually fear you will burn your hand off. Or really just until you can tell that shit is hot enough to scare the devil.

3. Place the filets in the skillet and do not move them for about 2-3 minutes. Don't even get tempted to touch those babies, you want them to get a nice little crust on their faces and bums. Occasionally go ahead and scoop some of the oil/butter concoction from the bottom of the skillet and shower your meat with it. After 2-3 minutes, flip that meat and continue showering with oil/butter. Remember, don't you move that meat around the skillet.

4. Transfer your perfectly crusted filets to a baking sheet and put that shit in the very center of your 400 degree oven. Set your timer to around 7 minutes (For medium center... will also depend on how thick your meat is... so many that's what she saids in there. I love talking about meat.). After 7 minutes, quickly spread the chopped garlic on top of your filets and then take about a tablespoon sized chunk of garlic butter and plop it right on top. Place back in the oven for another minute.

5. Take those babies out and watch as your man realizes he will never go another day without you.

Balsamic Garlic Roasted Sexy Broccoli

Ingredients:

1 bag of pre-cut broccoli (I got this from the fruits and vegetable section of the grocery store.)

4 gloves of garlic chopped

2 1/2 tbs of balsamic vinegar

2 1/2 tbs of brown sugar

2 1/2 tbs of olive oil 

Salt and pepper

Instructions:

1. In a bowl you think will fit all of the broccoli, with room to mix/stir without broccoli flying everywhere, whisk garlic, vinegar, brown sugar, and olive oil together until it's one happy concoction of goodness. Your oven also needs to be at 400 degrees for this one.

2. Throw the broccoli in that bowl and let it swim in that sweet and sour concoction until everything is sexy and evenly distributed. 

3. Coat a baking pan with any type of non-stick spray and spread sexy broccoli all over it and generously shower with salt and pepper. Trust me, your sexy broccoli will thank you. 

4. Bake for 25 minutes, occasionally shaking things up for fun, and enjoy the best damn broccoli you will ever put in your mouth. 

Baked Potato - Outback Style

Ingredients:

Potatoes (Shocker, I know.)

Olive oil

Sea salt

Instructions: 

1. Scrub and wash your potatoes. Because a scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me. Oh yeah, and put that oven on 400... again. You like that, don't you?

2. Stab your potatoes a few times on each side with a fork (This is important so that your taters don't explode all over your oven. ie: You'll probably be ordering pizza if you don't do this step.). Now that you've successfully abused your potato, go ahead and make up for it by brushing olive oil all over them. This is when things really start to get sexy.

3. Salt the tops of your potatoes and then put them in the oven for an hour. I know it sounds like a long time but, trust me, we're going for sexy potatoes here. After an hour, pull those suckers out and you will have the sexiest, crisped to perfection, potato you ever did want. 

Peanut Butter S'more Croissants

Ingredients:

Chocolate Chips

Reeses Peanut Butter Chips

Baby Marshmallows (AKA not the ones you use to play Chubby Bunny.)

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls 

Instructions:

1. This time we want our oven on 350 degrees because these babies are delicate puffs in which we must cook with gentle loving care. 

2. Get your man to figure out how to open the can of crescent rolls (Unless you're more handy than me.) and unroll them on a greased baking pan. 

3. Bedazzle the thick ends of each roll with even parts marshmallow, chocolate chips, and peanut butter chips. Then carefully roll them up, sealing the ends so you don't lose all of the goodness that is inside of your croissant. 

4. Shove those delicious puffs of heaven in the oven and let them bake for around 14 minutes. The important part about this step is consistently checking them around the 10 minute mark until you notice them starting to brown on top. Once they're a beautiful shade of caramel, your dessert of heaven is done and you will now officially seal the deal for anything you need/want your man to do for you for at least a month.

You're welcome.

And woof, that was a lot of typing and remembering and doing things here I don't usually do. But, trust me, if you're at all kitchen capable you can pull this off like a champ and then you'll get social media praise. And, come on, why else do we make elaborate meals? 

Go be one with your kitchen, my friends.

Over and out.