homeWhat I'm about to say probably puts me somewhere in a similar category as our friend I was talking about yesterday who thinks it's acceptable to try on her underoos before bringing them home.
I loathe showering.
Not even kidding. There is absolutely nothing for me about showering that I enjoy. I mean, sure, I enjoy not smelling like a hobo who slept in a dumpster for the last two years, and I enjoy having hair on my head that doesn't resemble that of a grunge band member, but really, showering is such a damn burden.
Take last night, for example. I came home from work to take a little nappy, so that I could treat the night as if it were a Friday because technically it was my Friday. When I woke up, I knew I needed to shower because it had been somewhere around 4 days since I had actually washed my hair, and I'm pretty sure if bear had to see me rock a messy bun on the top of my head for one more day, he was going to start searching my head for bugs.
I finally roll out of my bed, very much against my will, and I turn the shower on. Instantly, issue number one goes down. Bear was the last to use the shower (because he actually showers on a regular basis, as humans are intended to) and the shower head was pointed too high, thus causing water to spray all over the place. Cute.
I strip down to nothingness, swing open my shower curtain, hike my leg over the tub wall, and then I nearly bust my head open from slipping. Awesome. Sauce. I told you this showering thing was no walk in the park. Icing on the cake? Now I'm in the shower and my damn dog wont stop crying and wincing as if Michael Vick is outside of that shower curtain, trying to recruit him to be his next star athlete on his dog fighting team.
Strike three, four, and probably five too, was somewhere around the time when I realized I was on my way to growing a national forest on my legs and needed to take care of it before my ass got placed on the single list again. Why is shaving such a damn burden? Oh, bonus points, I was out of shaving cream and completely forgot about it because, you know, I've been to the store at least 4 or 5 times since I used the last of said cream, but I obviously avoid the shower like the plague, thus causing forgetfulness. Mother shit. Laser for erryone.
So, about fifteen to twenty minutes after all of these horribly tedious tasks, one is forced to do when attempting to be a hygienic citizen, I think I'm just about ready to finally get out. It's done. The misery is done. Except for the joke's on me because now my hair is soaked and not styled, I have zero traces of make up anywhere to be found on my face, my freshly shaved legs are now dry and in desperate need of hydration, and my ears need to be swabbed worse than the poop deck on a pirate ship. Just great, more tasks and I haven't even touched on hanging up my damn towel yet. Oh, sweet, hygienic, misery.
And there you have it, my friends, showering sucks and I don't care if you want to judge me for said sentiment. Now I will go forth and back my, questionably dirty, azz up with a song fit for such a post and wish you the happiest, shower-free, weekend ever. Except for I'm going to a fancy shmancy ball tomorrow and I think that means I'm going to have to add a shower in the mix tomorrow. Dammit all.
Anywhoodles, see yaaaa.
Anywhoodles, see yaaaa.
It's #backthatazzup Friday!
The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.
The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.
The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!
Click here for a tutorial on how to embed a song in your post.
Click here for a tutorial on how to embed a song in your post.
Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
Home
Post a Comment