"Rusty Swings"

"Rusty Swings" 

The park is two blocks away.
I used to see it every day
but there are buildings in the way.
What more is there to say
of my current state of affairs?
Too young to go there
so it bears no mention.
Always was forced to listen:
"Not until you're older, dear.
Until then, just stay over here.
Nothing for you over there."
I'm not old enough to go anywhere.

Same stoop. Same buildings.
Still sitting here,
but I've picked up some years.
The shouts of energetic peers
used to fill my ears
but I haven't left yet.
Mom bought me this headset.
Same color as my controller.
Beat this game to claim my fame.
Cheat codes buried in my folder.
Glanced over my shoulder.
Looks like the air is getting colder.
Besides, the teenagers are there now.
I'll just wait until I'm older.

No summer jobs. No scholarships.
Just the ever present politics
that give way to arguments
about my lapse in productivity.
I don't know what they want from me.
I am not what they want me to be.
My point of view they never see.
Why should I care? I'm Twenty-Three!
I've made my own decisions.
Contrary to what was envisioned,
I am not here for display
but I share in their dismay:
The trees have been cut down.
Concrete surface. Flattened ground.
No sand lot to build a fort.
Not even a basketball court.

5:45. Barely feeling alive;
but those fries won't fry themselves.
6:02. Ignored a neighbor or two.
Dodged the rock that kid threw.
There goes my wind shield.
Through those shards of glass,
my peripheral vision still yields
a glimpse of the "For Sale" sign.
I may never have the money.
I certainly don't have the time
to bring back what I never had.
Ah well. Can't waste it being sad.

I've become wiser in my aging.
Spent my younger years staging
an all out assault on my liver.
More liquor than the store could deliver.
Years have cultivated tier upon tier
of an abundance of tears
flowing like an endless river
into the glass of one so bitter.
Not one known for wiles of wit,
from day to day I just sit.
Passers by have little to say
so I just look two blocks away.
It would appear they've added things:
Monkey bars, a couple swings,
a sand box for building forts,
even a full basketball court.

I sit and watch them running.
They are never vexed.
They know nothing of stress.
Children living so carefree.
As calming as it is to see,
that park will forever haunt me.
I live through them vicariously
but they're closer than I'll ever be.
Some of it my parent's fault.
Much of it my own volition.
Placed myself below the bar
to become it's cold extension.
Only ran for sake of pretension.
Built sand castles of contradiction.
Knew the rain would come some day.
Should have taken more time to play.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz