Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Let's start this week off with my favorite sexy boyband man turned solo artist, slash movie star, slash all around marry-me-please man, Justin Timberlake. Who knew he had it in him (and those little CeeLo hands) to fire back at Kanye after Kanye talked smack about the JT-JayZ-Suit & Tie duet? Not me, that's for sure. Maybe it's because I'd be genuinely scared of Kanye intruding on my winning an award in the near future, but I just wouldn't want to stir things up with him.

It's a good thing our Nsync heart throb is nothing like me because he just went on Saturday Night Live and basically told Kanye he was going to let him finish but.... "awww, my hit's so sick got rappers acting dramatic". As if I couldn't love this man anymore, he just keeps on making me swoon. I like to think T.Swizzy got a nice chuckle out of this. I know I did.

If you were unaware, Lady Gaga has recently cancelled the last leg of her tour due to an injury. Monsters everywhere are sobbing while I didn't realize she still existed but, low and behold, she does and she is rocking this injury like it's her job. Which is actually, pretty much, exactly what it is at this point considering she can't really do many strange and bloody piano performances now that she's out of commission.

So, in true Gaga form, she is riding dirty in this gold wheelchair which screams "diva", if you ask me. Do your thing, Gags. 

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, Adrienne Maloof, has been up to some frisky business. And by that I mean that she has been cougaring it up with Rod Stewart's cougar bait son, who is 20 years younger than her, for about two months now. I don't know about you but I can't imagine anything that could possibly go wrong with this picture. Except for everything.

And everything is exactly what went wrong. She broke up with him because she needs "a man". Well Adrienne, as they say, "on to the next one". Get your cougar on, girl. 

I wasn't going to mention Tay Tay Swizzy today since I mentioned her last week but, once again, she's in the news and I just couldn't let this one pass by. It turns out some overly enthusiastic dumpster diver woman found a large bag of fan mail addressed to Swizzy and decided it was her duty as a law abiding citizen to go straight to the media with it. Letters adorned with heart stickers and glitter flooded the bag with no hope of Tay ever seeing them. You know, because I'm sure she always reads every single letter that people send her. One at a time. Over a glass of wine. You know, just like I do.

I know, first hand, that receiving mass amounts of fan mail can be entirely exhausting. I just hope she didn't offend any goat fans because I'd really like those videos to keep on rolling out. (insert goat emoji here)

And lastly, probably the worst news of the week. Worse than the 16+ celebrities and politicians who have been hacked (yes, that happened too). Something that I feel personally effected by, because I am a 13 year old teenybopper. It appears that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are donezo. Caput. Fineto. They haven't been spotted canoodling in quite some time, which is way out of the ordinary for them, and also I'm pretty sure Liam cheated on Miley which makes me loathe him, despite that gorgeous face of his. All of these things aside, there's been multiple "insider" tips insisting that the ring is off and they have parted ways. Sigh.

I only wish that she would come to terms with the fact that her and I are meant to be best friends forever and ever so that we could do the newly single-and-ready-to-mingle thing together.

And really, I can't go on anymore today. 

I need to go sulk in that last bit of news and pray that Miley doesn't pull a Britney and shave that little bit of hair she's got left on her pretty head.

A moment of silence for Miley and Liam, everyone.....