Dude Answers to Chick Questions: First Edition

I was slightly stumped at what I wanted to write about today and then I looked at my sweet, light pink, ruffley decorative towels and a lightbulb went off. The only problem with this lightbulb is that I was going to need the help of a male to pull it off. Ok, easy enough, I know a bunch of those. Oh, not so easy, how do I explain to my guy friends why I'm bothering them with all of these questions? Because none of them know that I do this blogging thing in my spare time. Small details, they'll probably think I'm just being Miley Whitney.

Today I bring you some of my deepest male questions answered by one of my best guy friends...

The icebreaker:
Why do you use decorative towels to dry your hands?
- "Because we don't really care about decorations. And maybe because it's just a towel."

Well friend, maybe my pink ruffles don't really care about you! And maybe you're just a dude.


Moving on...
How successful is the "can I buy you a drink" line?
- "Probably 60-70%. Depends on if they are actually interested or if they're just looking for free shit."

Damn... This one was slightly more on point than I imagined it was going to be. Maybe I'm not as sneaky as I assume I am.



If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?
- "Get away with stuff just for being a girl."

Ok, back on track and off point. I'm pretty sure if a guy could be a chick for a day, they'd probably just stand in the mirror and stare at their boobs all day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



Can you tell when a chick sucks at walking in heels?
- "Yes."
Does it make you laugh?
- "If it's really bad, yes."
Would you buy her a drink?
- "Probably. Why not?"

There it is, friends. You can look like an idiot and still manage a free drink or two. Maybe he wasn't so off on that last answer after all.



Do you ever dance in the mirror?
- "No, weirdo."

I'm calling 110% bullshit on this one and if you don't, well, then I think you're the weirdo, friend.



If you opened a chick's fridge and she had a box of wine in there, what would you think?
- "I don't drink wine but why is it in a box?"
What about if you opened her freezer and there was an 18-pack of Bagel Bites?
- "Her diet sucks."
So after discovering both of these things you wouldn't think she's the most awesome chick in all of the land?
- "I mean, I wouldn't judge her just off that, maybe the box of wine isn't hers..."

Pretty sure I definitely just got judged. He's lucky I love him like a brother or I'd kick him right in the man jibbs the next time I see him.
Also, to this I say, if you don't want drink boxed wine with me, you can go home. Bye.



Are beer goggles a real thing?
- "Yes. Absolutely."

I didn't really need a guy to explain this one to me, so it's a good thing I got zero elaboration on it. Not that there's really much to elaborate.
Ok, let's move on.



Do blondes, do they like, really have more fun?
- "I've seen both."
But you need beer goggles for the brunettes, right?
- "You are crazy and to answer the question, both, again."

I probably should have used a stranger for this interview. My friends know me too well, apparently.


And there it is, some of my deepest questions answered from a male perspective. I think I'm going to play this game the next time I go out and get a collaboration of drunk male thoughts. Yep, that's happening this weekend. Well, it is if I remember to do it. And if I remember to write down my answers. Someone remind me.

What questions would you ask a dude?