How I ruined my best friend's romantic evening.

It's Wednesday and I have absolutely no motivation to talk about celebrity eff ups today. The reasoning for my lack of motivation? Well, I went along searching for what happened over the last week and really all I was able to get was another shirtless photo of Justin Bieber, some more bullshit about Lindsay Lohan, and an almost Britney Spears nip slip. Yawn. I'll pass.


So, moving on.
Today I have to write about how I single handedly ruined one of my best friend's greatest nights ever because only something like this would happen to someone like me.
Seriously though, completely ruined one of the most romantic nights she's ever seen.

Quick backstory; This friend, or Kelly, she lives in the same apartment complex as me with her boyfriend. We became best friends since living in the same complex, obviously, and we spend quite a bit of time together.
She motivates me to make bad school night decisions, basically.

Yesterday was like any other Tuesday, I got off work and headed to Publix to pick up some typical groceries (aka wine), and then I headed to my apartment. Parked, got my normal cardio on by stacking all 8 grocery bags on every limb I've got, and then made my way inside.
I opened my fridge to put my bottle of wine in there, it needed to be chilled by the time I got back from walking the dogs, but the damn light didn't turn on. Ok, that's odd.

I then go around my house flipping switches, plugging things in, trying to figure out what the hell was going on because I knew I paid my bill earlier this month.
Or did I?

Well, I couldn't check on my computer because, you know, I had no mother effing power.
So I check on my phone, which has a whopping 32% battery life left.
Yep, March 9th payment to Progress Energy.
Ok, so I did pay my bill... What's the deal then? I could see lights on at my neighbors, why is it just my apartment?

Obviously a phone call to Progress Energy needed to happen.
If there's anything in this world I loathe more than coming home to an apartment with no power and a cell phone that's quickly dying, it's picking up the phone to call companies like Progress Energy and the cable company.
Ring, ring, "the next customer service representative will be with you in 8 minutes"...

Progress Energy guy: How can I help you, Miss Yoga Pants?
Me: My power is off... and, um, I paid my bill... which I'm guessing you hear a lot, so, you probably don't believe me... but I did and it's off and my apartment is getting hot and my wine fridge isn't chilling.
Progress Energy guy: Let me take a look at your account. *tap tap tap* *tappy tappy tap* ..............

(I imagine this guy was playing a quick round of paper football right here)

Progress Energy guy: Oh, well... Um... It... Oh.
Me: Yes? Oh, what? Where did my power go?
Progress Energy guy: It appears your payment was applied to a different account.
Me: Excuse me? -insert every expletive under the sun here-
Progress Energy guy: We will get this taken care of, bitch ma'am, just one moment please.

(More paper football here... maybe a snacky or two)

Progress Energy guy: Good news, we will be expediting this and late charges any charges accessed to this have been removed.
Me: Oh, ok....... so..... when will I have power then?
Progress Energy guy: Sometime by the end of the day.



So, I yell some more expletives and hang up the phone.
I decide I'll relax and take a nap, surely by the time I wake up I'll be in business. I mean, after all, it was their fault my power was off...
Wake up 2 hours later, nothing... no power. And my phone has 6% battery left.
To say I am pissed is a vast understatement.

Here's where Kelly comes in;
I text her to ask if I can come charge my phone in her apartment - no response. She's the type who always responds instantly. If she were a guy, she'd be horrible at playing hard to get.
Then I call her... no answer.
Ok, maybe Kelly's napping.

10 minutes later she calls me and tells me to come on up, the door's open, but don't mind the mess.
Both of our apartments are always a mess, so why would I even care? I just wanted power and maybe a cold glass of wine or beer. Or tequila shot. Whatever.

I go upstairs, open the door, and this is what I see:

Rose petals, candles, wine, oh... and this:

And then they asked me if I wanted to add anything to their sushi order they were placing.

Yep. Romance from a movie, staring the worst friend ever, yours truly; Whitney Yoga Pants.

Shit.

In my defense, she didn't tell me. And I was so in shock when I walked in that I didn't know what to say or do.

And that, my friends, is the story of my life.

Or really just how I ruined my best friend's most romantic night.


*edited to answer some questions: Yes, her boyfriend set all of this up for her. Yes, her boyfriend was there when I walked in. They were both sipping on their romantic wine together when I showed up.