Vital Things I Learned From My Exes

So, here's the deal about today.

Today I have another post that I have to post but being the overly prepared and organized blogger we all know that I am, I seem to have forgotten to take photos for said post and now it will have to wait to go live until I can get off work and do the damn thing. I'm still going to write a post anyways though... because it's what I love to do.

And also, I miss my readers. Is that weird? Probably.

Maybe this is why I shouldn't let my Erin Condren planner continue to collect dust. What would the fun in that be though? None, that's what.


Moving on, I was doing a little blog reading yesterday (weird, right?) and I stumbled across a post that I just couldn't help but to love. Like, love love. It was pretty clever and now I'm stealing it but please promise you'll go visit the mastermind behind it, Tami from Friday Morning Buzz, and say hello to her. She's really awesome and she's letting me be a copycat so that makes her even awesomer. (yes, that's a word.)


As we all know, I'm rocking the single life like it's nobody's biznass. I've got it pretty much down to a Science and it's actually pretty fun at this point. Which is actually a weird thing for me to say because I've been tied to different serious relationships for what feels like since 2nd grade.

That brings me to today's post.
Let's talk about some vital things I've learned from some of the asshats I've dated.

Key West is an absolute booze fest. 
Seriously though, I thought I was actually going to die. I had a hangover that caused me to take about a month of drinking absolutely anything alcoholic off. It's a great time but just be careful with those Fat Tuesday frozen drinks of death. They'll getcha.

Electronic dance music is the shit.
Prior to one of the idiots I dated, I never really listened or got into dubstep and all of that beat dropping everyone was all pumped up about. Now? Now it's pretty much my go-to when I'm getting ready to go out. Well, right behind #backthatazzup... of course.

Side note: This picture makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it.

What actually happens during a football game.
I know, I know, it's slightly horrifying to think about but I used to have no clue what was happening or what anything meant during a football game. When I was up at Florida State, I pretty much just went to the games because that's what everyone did after the tailgate happened. Then I dated a football player and figured it all out. Can I get an amen?

Delirium is delicious beer. 
And it get's you pretty buzzed nice and quickly because it's high in alcohol content. That's really all I have to say about this one.

Chips with cheese is the greatest bachelor food ever.
I once had an ex who called this his "specialty", which is laughable considering it doesn't exactly take a damn rocket scientist to figure out how to make it. You literally lay out some tortilla chips on a plate, sprinkle a shit ton of shredded cheese on top and then nuke it in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Sometimes though, it just hits the spot. De-lish-us.

Use some Pam on your key if your lock is stuck.
One time I had a lock on my house that would literally take me 5 damn minutes to get my key into because it was so stuck. Then I started dating some idiot and he told me to get the Pam out... which was about the time I looked at him like he was about to try some really weird shit, if you catch my drift. Turns out, all you have to do is spray a little on your key and wha-bam, key fits in it's hole again (that's what she said).

Entourage is a seriously amazefest show.
I could watch Entourage for hours and hours and then some more hours. Whyyy did it have to go away? Can. Not. WAIT for the movie. Who's with me?

Last but not least,
Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle.
I don't know if this one technically counts but it needs to be said. Boom done.

Yoga pants over and out.
Well, at least until later tonight. No one tell the one-post-a-day police on me.