homeOk, so here's the deal, friends.
I'm typically not one to just throw a full guest post on my blog unless you're someone pretty damn awesome. Before you get your eyes all rolled in the back of your head, hear me out.
You see, I was originally excited about this blogger because she shares the same name as my mama does and, well, that just automatically means you're pretty damn awesome. Then I started reading her blog and came to find that she has some really ridiculous stories, much like myself. Before I knew it, I was hooked and if any of you don't read her blog, you've gotta go check her out.
Not now. Read her guest post first... then go check her out.
Enough of my blab blab blab, this blogger really needs no introduction, I'm just honored she wanted to post here on this yoga pants blog.
Ready, set, take it away Bon Bon...
It was when I was examining the contents of my closet and realized I own more than a dozen pairs of yoga pants that I knew I just had to find a way to get on Whitney's blog. Homegirl and I both share that avid appreciation of yoga pants and when you have something that deep you gotta roll with it, you know?
Student, immediately after having received a graded final test back: "Is this test going to go on our grade?"
My reply: "Of course not. Why would I put a final test on your grade?"
Student: "I left my homework at home and can't hand it in until tomorrow. Does that mean it's going to be late?"
My reply: "Nope. When you hand your work in a day late, I actually count it as early."
Student, six weeks after school has been in session: "What time does school let out?"
My reply: "Seven o'clock."
Student: "Do we answer both of these questions for this essay?"
My reply: "Read what is written. See that first sentence? Where it says "Answer one of the following questions"?
Student: "So... we only answer one of them?"
Student, referring to a 50-something-year-old male teacher who has just walked out of the room: "Is that your husband?"
My reply: "You people are sick."
Student: "Do you wish you got paid more money?"
My reply: "No. If anything teachers are overpaid
Student: "Did we do anything in class yesterday?"
My reply: "Nope. We all just sat here and stared at each other."
Student: "When you were in high school were computers invented yet?"
My reply: "I went to high school seven years ago."
Student: "So were they invented yet?"
My reply: "No, not yet. The world was a very primitive place seven years ago. I had to use a type writer for all my assignments. Cars weren't invented either so I had to walk to school. In the snow. Uphill. Barefoot. Because shoes also were not yet invented."
In all seriousness, I really do love these tikes and all the crazy crap that comes flying out of their mouth at a million miles an hour. Of course if you want to hear more you can always visit Life of Bon. I also write about going to the gyno, stealing underwear from Victoria's Secret and other totally legit stuff like that. It's always a party. And because it's almost the end of the school year and the end of the school year means freedom and happiness and all things lovely, I am going to share that with you today. In the form of a $50 gift certificate to Target. Admit it- there ain't no better way to start your summer!
a Rafflecopter giveawayI'm typically not one to just throw a full guest post on my blog unless you're someone pretty damn awesome. Before you get your eyes all rolled in the back of your head, hear me out.
You see, I was originally excited about this blogger because she shares the same name as my mama does and, well, that just automatically means you're pretty damn awesome. Then I started reading her blog and came to find that she has some really ridiculous stories, much like myself. Before I knew it, I was hooked and if any of you don't read her blog, you've gotta go check her out.
Not now. Read her guest post first... then go check her out.
Enough of my blab blab blab, this blogger really needs no introduction, I'm just honored she wanted to post here on this yoga pants blog.
Ready, set, take it away Bon Bon...
It was when I was examining the contents of my closet and realized I own more than a dozen pairs of yoga pants that I knew I just had to find a way to get on Whitney's blog. Homegirl and I both share that avid appreciation of yoga pants and when you have something that deep you gotta roll with it, you know?
Oh. My name is Bonnie. And I blog at The Life of Bon. I am a high school English teacher by profession, and let me tell you, those kids can say some pretty stupid things. So stupid you can't help but laugh and laugh and then wonder if America's future is totally doomed. I figured it's my job to share them with you because that's the loving kind of gal I am!
This is me wearing a bunch of shirts and pants to work. Very original, I know.
STUPID QUESTIONS:
Student: "Mrs. Larsen? What do we do if we can't find what page we're on?"
My reply: "Uh... find the page you're on..."
My reply: "Uh... find the page you're on..."
Student, immediately after having received a graded final test back: "Is this test going to go on our grade?"
My reply: "Of course not. Why would I put a final test on your grade?"
Student: "I left my homework at home and can't hand it in until tomorrow. Does that mean it's going to be late?"
My reply: "Nope. When you hand your work in a day late, I actually count it as early."
Student, six weeks after school has been in session: "What time does school let out?"
My reply: "Seven o'clock."
Student: "Do we answer both of these questions for this essay?"
My reply: "Read what is written. See that first sentence? Where it says "Answer one of the following questions"?
Student: "So... we only answer one of them?"
Student, referring to a 50-something-year-old male teacher who has just walked out of the room: "Is that your husband?"
My reply: "You people are sick."
Student: "Do you wish you got paid more money?"
My reply: "No. If anything teachers are overpaid
Student: "Did we do anything in class yesterday?"
My reply: "Nope. We all just sat here and stared at each other."
Student: "When you were in high school were computers invented yet?"
My reply: "I went to high school seven years ago."
Student: "So were they invented yet?"
My reply: "No, not yet. The world was a very primitive place seven years ago. I had to use a type writer for all my assignments. Cars weren't invented either so I had to walk to school. In the snow. Uphill. Barefoot. Because shoes also were not yet invented."
Student: Are you sure that voluptuous doesn't have an 'm' in it?
My reply: Oh, you're right! It does! It's silent and it comes right before the v.
Student: What does whores mean? Is that like a horse?
My reply: Yep. You nailed it.
Student: What was Shakespeare's first name? Was it just Shakespeare?
My reply: Yes. His name was Shakespeare Shakesepare.
Student: How weird!
Student: What's a character list? Is that like... a list of characters?
This is me and my students. We're having a funeral for Jay Gatsby. I'm the idiot making the peace signs in the front. I can't help it. Everytime there's a camera I whip out the peace signs. It's a disease.
Student: What was Shakespeare's first name? Was it just Shakespeare?
My reply: Yes. His name was Shakespeare Shakesepare.
Student: How weird!
Student: What's a character list? Is that like... a list of characters?
STUPID ANSWERS:
Me: When did Shakespeare live?
Me: When did Shakespeare live?
Student: 1940s!
Me: No! That would have meant he was alive during World War II!
Student: He wasn't?
Me: What did Shakespeare write?
Student 1: Macbeth!
Student 2: Romeo and Juliet!
Student 3: The one with the little dude that spins the stuff into gold!
Me: Rumpelistiltskin?
Student: Yah!
STUPID STATEMENTS:
As the first line of an essay on Les Mis: SEX! Well, now that I got your attention you little pervert I am going to tell you about Les Mis, a very long book about a bunch of people who like to feel sorry for themselves.
Explaining his hatred of the book to me: I hate this book so bad. I would burn it if I didn't have to give it back to you. I'd really do it too but then you'd give me a fine and I couldn't get my yearbook.
On an essay about Ender's Game and lost childhood: In conclusion, when you're a child you're supposed to be a kid, get durty, burp, and fart in public.
On an essay about the characters in Midsummer Night's Dream: Now I know these people didn't have Nascar or Football or video games but seriously, do something with your lives and get over yourselves!
Explaining her pet peeves to me: I just hate it when people ask me for gum! Gum is getting really expensive nowadays! (Oh, I know! It's up to a buck 29! Who can afford that?!? THE OUTRAGE!)
On an essay on gender roles: Women get smarter and smarter by watching what their husbands do.
On an essay on gender roles: Women get smarter and smarter by watching what their husbands do.
In all seriousness, I really do love these tikes and all the crazy crap that comes flying out of their mouth at a million miles an hour. Of course if you want to hear more you can always visit Life of Bon. I also write about going to the gyno, stealing underwear from Victoria's Secret and other totally legit stuff like that. It's always a party. And because it's almost the end of the school year and the end of the school year means freedom and happiness and all things lovely, I am going to share that with you today. In the form of a $50 gift certificate to Target. Admit it- there ain't no better way to start your summer!
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