Whitney's What the? Wednesday

It's Wednesday and not only does that mean it's your favorite day of the week to think dirty things about, it also means it's time for me to pretend I'm a celebrity gossip blogger.

Let's start today off the same way we ended last week.

Lindsay Lohan. Poor, poor little LiLo isn't feeling very well this week, it seems she has a little upper respiratory infection. Which, I imagine, is multiplied as a result of her chain smoking tendencies, though I'm no doctor so what do I really know?

LiLo has a mandatory court date scheduled for today and her attorney tried to use the oldest trick in the book to get her out of it. Unfortunately Mr. Judgey Pants says doctor's notes are bologna sandwiches and LiLo best get her contaminated ass there today or she's going straight to jail. 

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Recently there have been a few rumors spreading that the Bootylicious Diva herself, Beyonce, has been a complete horror during the preparations for the Super Bowl halftime show she is set to star in. Reports say she's been demanding, difficult and basically a total headache. One of the demands being that her child's on set nursery needs to be exactly 26 degrees celsius. Ooookay. 

I don't know why this is even news, really... the woman's nickname is Sasha Fierce or some shit like that. OF COURSE she's a diva. See also: She's Beyonce and I'm pretty sure that means she can do just about whatever the eff she wants to. 

Like name her child after a primary color and a plant. 

Miley and Liam are, hands down, my favorite Hollywood couple ever. Mostly because of my love for Miley which runs as deep as the ocean. Anyways, there have been speculations that the two have tied the knot finally but according to both of them this is all false.
I just wish they would get this show on the road. I need to see what kind of dress Miley wears. And how sexy Liam looks in a tux.

Will she go as Hannah or Miley?

Probably the most comical report of the week goes to none other than Justin Beaver. Errrr, Bieber. Beaver rolls off the tongue better, no? Yes. Anyways, the Beaver was recently photographed completely groping a fan's boob and I can't even handle how awkward it is. What's even more awkward is that his reps are trying to say that is isn't a boob grab we're seeing. Now, I may not have the best vision in the world but come on, that's total hand on boob action, no?

Eat your heart out, Seleney.

Lastly, things about about to get reaaaal creepy thanks to one Hulk Hogan. It's no secret that the king creeper himself has a very, very strange obsession with his daughter but this week he may have taken it to a new level via Twitter...

"Brooke's legs"... Hoookay, creep nasty. 

I feel the dirty shivers just thinking about this one.

And that's it for this week. Who's excited for day drinking Super Bowl Sunday this weekend?

PS. I am posting some of my life lessons over at my bestical, Ty Ty's, blog today. Go check those bad boys out!