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Twelve Pains of Christmas

Penulis : Unknown on Wednesday, 12 December 2012 | 07:10

If you haven't read any other blog yet today, let me be the first to tell you that today is 12-12-12.
If you have read another blog today, sorry you just had to read that for the billionth time.

In honor of the number 12, today I am going to make a list. Who doesn't like lists?


Today, I present to you my 12 pains of Christmas.


Twelve Christmas list blog posts a day.
I just want world peace wine.

Eleven family fights.
I'll be in the back corner stuffing my face. And drinking heavily.

Ten pounds gained.
From avoiding the family fights. And excess boozing.


Nine Christmas show specials.
If they were all like Blake Shelton's I probably wouldn't mind.

Eight proposal and/or wedding updates.
Really though, I just want more wine.

Seven hangovers a week. 
Just trucking through the season, guys.

Six new outfits for holiday parties.
Because nothing in my closet will suffice.

Five cars with reindeer antlers and red noses in the parking lot at work.
I loathe. Just loathe.


Four times a day I have to sweet up pine needles.
Remind me why I decided I needed a real tree this year?

Three gifts to purchase.
Mom, dad, Whitney. #singlelife

Two gulps of egg nog to make me vomit.
I really hate this shit. It's like alcoholic pancake batter made for drinking.

and I really don't understand this Elf on the Shelf nonsense.
Why is everyone purposely making messes in their houses and blaming it on this doll?
Except this guy... he's a pimp.
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