Dear Billy Bob... or Blake Shelton,

Guys, I have to tell you all something.

I used to be one of those monsters with a Christmas wish list 3 pages long.

Yes, it's true. Shameful, I know.

Once the economy dropped like Marilyn Monroe's panties this quickly changed.

These days I pretty much feel guilty for accepting bubble bath from my parents.

My dad was in real estate when the economic shit hit the fan, for those wondering.

So, there's that.

Today, I write different types of wish lists.

The type of wish lists that go to Billy Bob... or Blake Shelton...

My Not-So Politically Correct Christmas Wish List

1. Adam Levine

Preferably shirtless, offering me a massage of some sort.

Full body, if he insists.

2. Happy Hour

Yes, I know happy hour already exists but I'm wishing for FREE happy hour.

You know 5 o'clock hits and the drinks are flowing without a price tag.

Who's with me?

3. Nap Time

Is it so much to ask to get a quick snooze in after lunch time?

I really think I'd be much more productive in the work place.

4. A Nice Booty

Bad Santa, please bring me this ass to wear every day.

Source: blog.okcolo.com via Amanda on Pinterest

Thanks.

5. No Work All Play
I'd like just a month to do whatever the hell I please without reporting to work at 8am.