Once my reality show takes off.

Anyone else want to sit here and admit that they frequent channels such as Bravo and thoroughly enjoy mind numbing shows?

I'm talking about Real Housewives here, if we're getting specific.

It's ok, you can judge me. I judge me too.

I got home from work yesterday and had so much work to do. Naturally, I poured myself a generous glass of wine and did absolutely none of the work I needed to get done.

Flipping through the channels, I land on my beloved Real Housewives.

Beverly Hills, if we're being particular.

All of these women start each show with some type of brilliant saying that describes their lives.

One of my personal favorites, Camille, who is famously known for being dropped by Fraiser superstar Kelsey Grammar, probably has my favorite opening line of all time.

Or maybe just right now as I'm strolling through the #singlelife?

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend - freedom is." -- Camille Grammar

Keep on keeping on, Camille. Preach to us single dog women.

Then we have my favorite hot mess, Kim Richards. Or recovering hot mess, I guess is what she is now.

"Life is a journey, and I'm finding myself every day." -- Kim Richards

Well, I prefer the unfound version of Kimmy better and I'm sure she's still in there. 

Homegirl is a fry short of a happy meal. 

The other women have some dumb and boring opening lines that don't really interest me too much, or maybe I just don't love them as much as I love the two previously mentioned messes.

So then I start to think about what my opening line will would be once my reality show takes off (if you're new here, my life mission is to be a reality hot mess, k?)... I think I will go with,

"I don't get drunk, I get fabulous!" -- Me