Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Well hey there Wednesday, we meet again.
I just spent a good portion of my morning at an office furniture store in search of the perfect desk chair for my new office. My boss legitimately made me sit in about 40 desk chairs, which turned out to be incredibly awkward, so just let that sink in and paint a picture for the kind of day I've had so far.
In case you were wondering, we finally agreed on one and it now sits in my new, empty office.


Anyways, let's get this show on the road.

Janet Jackson is married. Again.

Just go ahead and let that marinate for a second because if you are anything like me, you haven't heard her name since around the time where JT introduced us to her right knocker. Her husband's name is, once again, something I can not pronounce but for the sake of this post I will refer to him as Wiss.i.am the Man. Close enough.

Their wedding gifts to one another were donations to charity, or something very celebrity like that. My guess is that one of these said charities is probably the culprit of leaking these super secret nuptials. Either way, congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Wiss.i.am the Man. I guess.


Nicki Minaj wants to be an actress.
Because, in case you were wondering, what she is currently doing is not actually considered acting. Having 7 personalities doesn't equate to one actress, apparently, and now I'm just confused as to what it takes.

Big, huge props to that agent. This is sure to be an interesting ride for whoever she found to take that job on. Here's to hoping she finds someone to work with her on that British accent she's always trying to pull off.


MTV recently aired one of their classiest shows to date that even puts the worst Snooki days of Jersey Shore to shame. Buckwild is the name and I may, or may not, have found myself shamelessly tuning in to watch this train wreck on the regular. Well, it turns out that one of the stars of the show, Salwa, has been arrested for trafficking drugs. Not just any drugs though... freaking heroin. The real stuff.

I wish I could say that I tagged this one to be the shadester from the beginning but I actually thought she was the sweet one. Goes to show how great my judge of character is. I'm thinking this could be the start of a beautiful friendship for Salwa and Teen Mom's Amber Portwood.
Chicks that rehab/prison together, stay together.


This might be my most favorite story of the week...  Little Miss Teen Delaware has officially resigned from her fancy title and has given her sparkly crown back. Turns out, this class act of an 18 year old has bigger ambitions in life. She was recently quoted in a questionable video saying something along the lines of "I like being on top" and she isn't talking about the beauty queen pyramid.

Yep, that's right, this little lady recently stared in a good, old fashioned porno and she doesn't intend to stop now. Well, ok then... Maybe she'll be offered to take Salwa's spot on Buckwild, I really feel like she'd be a great choice for season 2.

All I know is that the runner up didn't realize that when she jokingly called this chick a whore for beating her, she wasn't really that far from the truth.

It looks like Taylor Swift dressed in disguise on Tuesday night and attended a One Direction show. Ok, just kidding, I don't have confirmation of that but Harry Styles did get nailed in the man jibblets by a shoe while performing on stage and I just can't help but hope it was some undercover T.Swizzy friend who got paid off. Not that I would ever do that to one of my exes or anything...

Though I really wouldn't mind getting the shoe-thrower's rates. Someone's got great aim.
I'd also like to know if T.Swizzle really is paying someone to do this and when the next show will be. Probably the only time I'd pay to see One Direction.


Pornos, heroin, and shoes to crotch.
What a week!