Trying Too Hard

Trying too hard.

Those are three words that never fail to leave me confused. What does that even mean anyways? All through life, as far as I can remember, people always seemed to throw that little phrase around like it was the ultimate dis and I just don't understand it. Why is trying hard a negative thing?

In school when I tried really hard I found success and made better grades. 

When I graduated I tried really hard to find a job and I found one.

At work when I try really hard I make more money.

In relationships when I try really hard they last longer.

In friendships when I try really hard I'm a better friend.

My question remains, why is this usually meant to be such a negative thing? I'll be the first to admit that I do try hard. Not only just on my blog but in all of the things I just mentioned and probably many more that I can't think of right now. I have a really hard time finding the bad in this though, personally, and I think that when you stop trying that's when things go bad. Shouldn't the negative feelings be for those who aren't trying their hardest?

I mean, I get it, pushy salesmen can be pretty overbearing but that's just how they make their living. That's just who they are. At least they're doing something because something has got to be a hell of a lot better than nothing, right? 

Right now in my life there are a few things I'd really like to change but I know that if I don't try my damnest to make them happen I won't get that change. Because I can remember when I used to try harder to fit in at school than I did at trying to succeed in my dancing and that showed at nationals when I only scored a silver medal on my solo. I want my ultimate gold medal in life now, not the silver, and, just like that last year of dance, if I don't try I'm only mediocre. I'm only a silver medal.

As always, when I spill my guts here, I have no idea where I'm really going with this. Only that I'm about to start trying really, really damn hard to make some changes in my life and I can only hope that's not a negative thing. I'm finally ready for my ultimate gold medal.

And I'm not talking about dance or going to compete against high schoolers at nationals this summer. Just to clear that up.