i put an ultimatum on your cut off khakis

WARNING: FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, THIS POST HAS A LOT OF NAMES IN IT. IF YOU HATE NAMES, YOU SHOULD REPLACE THE NAMES IN YOUR HEAD WITH THINGS YOU LIKE, LIKE TINY PHOTOS OF TATER TOTS YOU CAN LICK AND TASTE.

Summer's got a basement full of blow-up dolls. Summer takes a nap in a lake of dry Froot Loops. First there is the weather and then there's the plan, except when there's no weather. White people in the park playing Ultimate Frisbee. Where you move to have kids is where your kids will be from. As in accents. The real life basis of the biopic is flattered when the actor visits to perfect his impression. The nerdy teenager greets strangers the way he 
saw NPCs do it in his sandbox video game. You know your town's special when it's got a Presidential library. Certain kinds of infrasound can produce what a show on FX would call a ghost.



Here is a video of me reading some poems in March at the Collected Poet Series with Polina Barskova. My collar is effed the whole time, but there is an uncouth laugher who really and continually asserts herself starting about 60% of the way through. So, you know, win/lose.

In other news, I had an awesome time at the Boston Poetry Marathon. Friends new and old. Cuban sandwiches. Billowing white pants that reminded me of traders riding camels through lots of sand, probably, is where they would ride them. Much respect to everyone there, and especially to Jim Berhle for inviting me in the first place and to my Western Mass car companions Emily Pettit, Ish Klein, Greg Purcell, and Lewis Freedman. Also got the chance to meet Andrew Hughes and pick up the journal project he put together with Whit Griffin, Bright Pink Mosquito. Some lovely buzz in there. Also Dana Ward is as cool as everyone says he is, so don't worry if you were worrying.





In September, as Thailand increases its imports of rare and amazing carrot cakes, I am moving to Baltimore for a while. Got a job teaching at UMBC, which architecturally resembles UMASS except, hmm, let's see: UMBC is Crystal Pepsi and UMASS is when the soda machine messes up and starts ralphing everything inside itself plus some sarsaparilla no one realized was there. Basically what I mean is UMBC has less buildings, and they actually look like each other. UMASS you know I love you, don't throw your library at me, please. Because your library is tall and ridiculous and made of bricks. Anyway, I am excited to live in Baltimore with Mark Cugini and eat soul food and Old Bay seasoning and see Orioles games and take any and all mustache advice from Adam Robinson. Plus there are a lot of other cool Baltimore people that I will list one by one eventually, except I will do it secretly, like when I say "softball" I will actually be talking about Michael Kimball, and when I say "bachelor pad" I will be talking about Justin Sirois, and when I say "campfire" I will be talking about Laura van den Berg, and when I say "Baltimore is a city in which he used to drive around wasted in the car from Back to the Future," I will be talking about Glenn Beck, and when I say "Mad Men" I will be talking about Jamie Perez, and when I say "willow tree" I will be talking about Joe Young. Shh. It's a secret.