Conscious Chemicals: Elixir #5: "[He] {She} *You* (Me) We Pondering"

I still think about

How this all came about.
You were different.
There was nothing to run game about.
You were a change of pace;
You never seemed concerned with clout;
But there were remnants to be discerned
And things to be concerned about.

I still think about

The first time you saw my face.
You said it had the kind of grace
That most would dream about
But I left the sugar out
And closed the container shut.
It wasn't unappreciative.
I just felt like
I was being buttered up.

I still think about

Our trials.
Your error.
Broken glass.
Shattered mirrors.
You knew it wasn't getting better.
I still held you accountable
But wanted to be your shelter
Only to see that
Even a heart this warm
Couldn't shield you
From your darkest terrors.
You shared conflicted stories
Of exploits and past endeavors.
It wasn't always easy listening;
But I kept it together.

I still think about

Countless nights
That led up to the day
That I almost walked away.
"Don't treat me like a stray!"
"I won't remain at bay!"
"I won't subscribe to dismay!"
You wanted me to stay.
Indeed I did;
Although I deserved much more.
I couldn't explain it back then.
I just felt something was in store.

I still think about

What you mean to me.
The future that I see.
What I believe you can be.

I still think about

That look in your eyes
Coupled with a familiar sigh
That always makes me wonder why.
Why this scenario?
Why this way?
Don't get me wrong: I'm happy.
Don't be cleaved by what I say.
I just hope that all is well.
I pray that you're alright.
I know it feels like pure hell
Because I'm not there every night.

I still think about
What our bond truly means.
It gives me strength.
It keeps me lean.
It's crystal clear;
Ever so pristine.
Not cluttered. Just clean.
We mesh so well
And have yet to share a love scene.

I still think about

Impending first impressions.
How will you sound in person?
Will I notice inflections?
Will I fine tune my perception
Or buy in to discretion?
What will this experience yield?
I'm eager to learn the lessons.

I still think about

What I know is true.
I don't key in on clue;
Because that's not for us to do.
All I care to ponder
Is one heart shared by two;
And if memory serves me well,
All I'll think about is you. ♥