Dear Lucas

You are four today. FOUR. You've been asking if today is your birthday since Christmas was over! "Now is it my birthday?"

I feel like after having kids I realize the truth in the statement that "the days are long, but the years are short." You are turning in to this amazing kid and I want to freeze time and remember you in this moment, but I know that's not possible. I want to capture, with words, what you are like and how your personality is and all the things that come out of your mouth. But I'm not an eloquent writer. But there are so many things I want to remember.

There was a day, shortly after you turned 3, I think, that I got out of the shower and you brought me an opened granola bar. I wondered where that came from and how you opened it. When I went to the kitchen I saw you had pulled a chair up to the counter and helped yourself in the cabinet. Then I noticed 3 wrappers on the counter...and the scissors. Yikes! Your problem solving-skills in figuring out how to open those wrappers! I said, "Lucas! You ate THREE granola bars?!" You quickly pointed out, "No! I had two! I gave you one."

You have such a curious spirit about you and love to learn about the world around you. I read somewhere recently that the average 4-yr old asks about 400 questions a day. Yeah, I think that sums you up. I don't think I've said, "I don't know" so often before as I do in this stage of my (your) life. Why, why, why, what, what, what. "Mom why is the moon full tonight?" My answer, "I don't know Lucas, why don't you ask it?" Lucas, in a deep voice, "Moon, why are you full? Mom he said because he wants to be." Sounds like as good of an answer as any!

I love the emerging independence you have. Some mornings you wake up earlier than I'd like and before I'm ready to crawl out from under my covers. It used to be that you'd come in my room and I'd pull you in to bed with me. Sometimes you'd fall back to sleep and other times you would be restless and keep asking, "Is it wake-up time yet?" Then you figured out it was easier to just not come in my room anymore...so instead you come downstairs and shut my door. (and I would think, how sweet, he's letting me 'sleep in' - which, I imagine, you get from your dad doing that on the weekends.)

During those mornings when you close my door you quietly entertain yourself in the living room/dining room area. You don't get in to anything you shouldn't and no more climbing on chairs to reach snacks (or scissors!). You'll get on the computer and go to Starfall, or PBSKids.com or play Reader Rabbit. Some mornings you sit at the table and color, or do puzzles (you had the table covered one morning when I came in to the kitchen).

And the things that make me laugh - me, calling upstairs 4 or 5x, "Lucas!" and being greeted with complete silence. One more time I called out, "Lucas, can you hear me?" Finally you responded, "No!"

"Mom are you going to watch Boston tonight?" I tell you "Umm...I don't think so..." and you said, "Well, think!"

And how did you come up with this one? You and Kayla were cleaning up and I heard you say, "Kayla, can you clean up cause my neck is hurting. I need a drink of water."

You can hear the mail truck coming just as if it were the ice cream truck! Your routine is to run outside and greet the 'mail lady' at our mailbox and wait for her to hand you our mail. She's told me seeing you there makes her day.

Awhile ago you started calling me 'mom' more often than 'mommy' and I have to admit it made me a little sad. I wasn't ready for that transition! You walk in to the room and say, "Hey Mom!" and you just sound so much older than your years when you do that. I wish I could keep you little, but I can't.

The other day I held you in my arms and lap, rocking you. It won't be long before I can't do that anymore. I half-pretended to be sad telling you that you weren't going to be 3 for much longer and I wasn't ready for you to be 4. You gave me a hug and said, "Don't be sad." When I asked why I couldn't be sad you said, "Because I hugged you." Well how could I be sad after that?