"Deviant Decadence"

‎"Deviant Decadence"


I've asked myself a thousand times:
"Do I really want to do this?"
I have the script. I've studied the lines;
But I act as if I never knew this.
Those are familiar lips.
They will offer no new kiss
And I recognize those hips.
Leftover lust. Not a new dish.
I'm still unsure if I should do this:
Search old seas for new fish,
Act like throwback is new bliss
As if she holds my true wish.
I won't lie.
Some things I do miss;
She was my tomb.
I was Anubis.
I was locked within her womb.
She held me deep inside.
She knows I'd never leave soon.
I just take root and confide.
Time was never really an issue.
We always found a way to bide
As we conjoined flesh and tissue
As if to strap up for a ride.


I sit back and reminisce,
Relax, wax and repeat
And have yet to notice
That I'm in her passenger seat.
I turn to look at her;
But she is focused on the highway.
She tells me that it's my choice.
We can do everything my way.
What more could I say?
I can't believe I just said that.
I've clearly lost my way.
I don't know where my head's at.
I guess it's time to knuckle up.
I just buckle up and fall back.
My girl just hit me up.
It goes to voice mail. I'll call back.
Not right now, though.
Hell, she might be asleep later.
My conscience tells me not to go;
But I can't seem to play evader.
She winks at me. I blink back.
This makes no sense! I used to hate her!
My girl is what she severely lacks;
So why should I accommodate her?
Why was it so easy to bait her?
Why couldn't I just dismiss
Someone who always was the fader;
Stealing sunlight & keeping me pissed?


I've no clue of what to think next.
I didn't plan any of this.
That's when my girl sent me a text:
A smiley face, a heart and a kiss;
But before I could reply,
Overhead lights blinded my eyes.
My phone dropped; and to my surprise,
I felt her hands on my thighs.
Before any words were said,
She turned the key. Lights were dead.
Gathered knees. Lowered head.
By 1:43, she was full and fed.
What's wrong with me?
That's what I should've said.
I should have stopped; but instead,
Here I am at the foot of her bed.


The doors are locked.
The entire house is sealed off.
I'm erect. Solid as a rock.
She asks me to help her peel off.
Clothes cascade to the floor;
Revealing dark chocolate skin.
Perspiration seeps through my pores
And the air is getting thin.
She gyrates a little more
As she invites me to dig in.
I hesitate; but I don't negate.
Her leg is up; so I give in.
At first, I feel a little nauseous.
Don't get me wrong. She's worth a savor.
I'm just apprehensive and cautious
As if I'm doing intensive labor;
But as time gets more extensive,
There is an influx in behavior.
Another lick, a few more sucks
And I willingly grant her favor.


Yeah I know. I'm in some muck.
I chose to wade deep in the mire.
This will surely deplete my luck;
But I just can't fight desire.
It's obvious that I know better;
But I let her catch my ire.
I did my part to make her wetter.
Now I can't put out her fire.


She climbs on top of me,
Makes me her property
And I give her the business.
She wants it all. She's my monopoly.
Deep down, it truly bothers me.
I should've initially turned back;
But she's laying on her back.
I should resist; but I attack.
She says I'm what she missed;
Says I'm what the others lacked.
She leans in for a deep kiss;
But still won't cut me any slack.
She becomes vulgar and blunt;
Wants to see what I've got packed,
Bends over and faces the front
And gently arches her back.


Why am I still here?
Was it not crystal clear
That I am simply destroying
A true love that I hold dear?
She's calling for me:
"You're not done. Come here."
It shakes and bounces enticingly;
So I relinquish those fears.
I mount her and she takes me in.
She looks back with an evil grin
As if to signify her win
By helping me take part in this sin.
I look back at her
And my stomach is in lumps;
But I disregard and violently pump
Until knees buckle and I dump.


The air gets colder.
She's knocked out; still slumped over.
I feel drunk although I'm sober.
I guess this means I'm sleeping over.
I throw my shirt over my shoulders.
When she awakes, I'm going home.
She turns sideways and moves over.
I start searching for my phone.
I know it can't be far.
Damn! I left it in the car!
The battery is dead;
So I look for it under the stars.


I still haven't found it yet.
That's when it flashes my missed texts:
"Baby? Are you home yet?"
"Did you forget?"
"Still bringing me to work?"
"Is your alarm set?"
"Are you ok? Are you hurt?"
"Please call back. I'm trying not to fret."


I sit there with my head down.
I look at her photo and start to frown.
I was dumb enough to let one night
Tear everything that we built down.
I turned away from the better me
And sought refuge from the light
So I could delight in deviant decadence:
A cold dish of infidelity and plight. 


So much for a good night...


Written by: Devin Joseph Metz