i would hit you again but i need time for my rhetoric

A roofer is whining for a saw, a skill saw, a hand saw, in the most annoying way I've ever heard. People seem to have saws but seem disinclined to give him one because of his whining, more out of confusion than anger, as if his whining is so exaggerated they fear they're on a secret documentary.

God is picking from between different stars with an older God behind him saying "You should get that star, that's a Reynolds star, they're a good brand." God thinks, "I have no idea what that means." Then he thinks, "Wait, all he means is that the company doesn't sound Japanese."

We went to get ice cream at Sundae School, and they had their own cop monitoring parking lot traffic. His moves seemed FAA-regulated.

Fromm the Department of Indignation: Grade the following instances of Indignation on a scale of your choosing: What kind of farmer's market doesn't have free samples? What kind of a personality trait is a preference for ginger ale? What kind of beautiful weather doesn't know it's September 11th? What kind of parent teaches their kid to ride a bike in the parking lot of the funeral home?