Flowers Still Mean 'I'm Sorry'

Well, I'm alive. I think. At least I am on the outside.

Something inside of me still feels very much dead and lifeless.

Turns out, flowers still mean 'I'm sorry' even if they're not given to you after an argument. Go figure. Admittedly, they do light up my apartment a bit and, so, I think I'll keep them. 

I guess I should really start this post by thanking each and every single person who has written, commented, tweeted, texted, ect., ect. It's truly been mind blowing to see just how many people loved my sweet Sebby and have kept him and myself in their thoughts and prayers. I am forever in debt to those of you who have sent me so much love and support. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I've missed blogging the most since taking my hiatus from real life so, really, right now I just want to write. I'm not all that sure what will come of this post, or if I really have anything worthy of actually typing out, but I miss writing, I've got a paper plate full of Bagel Bites, and a glass of wine from an actual glass bottle, so here goes nothing.

I guess I should mention that I've resorted to the use of paper plates and using foil as a baking pan for my Bites, you know, to eliminate dishes. Because I've already cleaned my apartment to sparkling standards through my fits of trying to forget everything and now I'm just too lazy to go back and mess it up all over again. Also, when people feel sad for you they bring you wine in real glass bottles. Color me fancy tonight, or something. 

Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed after my attempt at making it into work failed miserably. Apparently, sitting in the fetal position, hysterically crying, and appearing to be completely inconsolable is means for being sent home for the day. Who knew? Fortunately, my boss is an animal lover, so he has be overly understanding about my emotional state and I don't even think he's going to try and have me committed after Monday morning's meltdown. 

Except for that one day? Yeah, it's now turned into three days, since I just got a text from my boss letting me know I don't have to come in tomorrow and I can have the additional day to relax, if I'd like it. While I wish I could say I don't need it, my simple attempt at getting back on my feet and stepping into the real world again failed miserably and, well, I'm pretty sure I could use one more day. So, yeah, I'm taking it.

Back to that failed attempt. I figured going to the grocery store would be a simple and easy enough task for me to take on, and seemingly it really was. Well, that is until I got home, got out of my car, and dropped my phone on the concrete, resulting in shattering yet another iPhone. Mind you, I just replaced my last shattered iPhone 2 months ago. So, that's great. Point: Real Life. 

While I was at the grocery store, I saw that they had little two-foot Christmas trees for sale. My intention this year was to get a four-footer from the same lot I got my tree at last year, but my intention was also to do that the day tragedy struck, and now I can't even think about going that route just because of the reminder that plan is. So, Publix two-footer it is this year. Now, if only I could find it in me to decorate the munchkin tree. 

I guess the good news is that, while I haven't been able to successfully submit myself to all of real life yet, I was able to organize, package, and ship all of the Blog So Hard shirts to their rightful owners. The light at the end of this tunnel might just be the thought of everyone getting their shirts and, hopefully, hearing the excitement of it. Spoiler alert: everyone who ordered a shirt gets a koozie which may, or may not, excite me more than the actual shirts.

Anyways, I don't really know where this is going or what I've even written about at this point. I just, kind of, wanted to write so that's what I did. Maybe I'll go decorate this naked munchkin tree, or something.

I guess I'll try again Thursday, Real Life.