Hangover Monday

Monday, 11 March 2013

Well, hey there. It's Monday and I'm not really sure how I managed to make it to work on time, but I'm here and I'm just doing my best not to fall out of my desk chair. I think it's safe to say that I'm overly thankful that there's such thing as link ups for days like today so that I don't actually have to use my brain any more than absolutely necessary.

Friday night was one of those nights I really can't help but wonder why I'm not a reality star yet. While sitting at the bar next door to my apartment complex an older gentleman, probably in his 40's, who had a button down shirt on that should have been buttoned up a few more times, approached me. He mentioned that he had seen me walking my "two white dogs" around the complex and even went as far as to apologize for his Uhaul pods that were parked outside of my back door for 6 days. Then he decided we were going to be best friends and he began showing me photos of his golden doodle who he referred to as his "main lady". I have no idea what his name was but he thinks my name is Nancy, Nanc for short, and I'm pretty sure I need to start carrying pepper spray or maybe a knife when I walk my dogs.

Friday night was probably the first time I really haven't enjoyed single life.

Just kidding, this shit is awesome. Creepers or not.

Saturday I got to go on a blog date, or a "blate" as the cool kids are calling it lately, and I didn't get catfished so that was really cool. I also got to drink pina coladas on the beach which was pretty much enough to cancel out any instances of creeper strangers from the internet that I shouldn't have agreed to meet. But hey, they were actually really not creepers at all and if our blate was any indication of what all blates are like, I'm going to be doing them a lot more.

Thanks for a fabulous blate Rachel and Lisette!

Sunday... Sunday was... well, Sunday was referred to as Blackout Sunday and we did just that. It was intense and in addition to waking up still partially feeling drunk, I also woke up with a random coozie in my purse that I don't recall obtaining. Both equally exciting things to wake up to after Blackout Sunday. My text messages, however, were not so great to wake up to. Apparently single Whitney really enjoys texting just about everyone in her phonebook after she takes a few shots. My sincere apology to those of you who received said messages, if any of you are reading this. Blame it on Nancy.

And to think, Blackout Sunday started at brunch food trucks. Seemingly innocent but looks can be deceiving  says my puffy, bloodshot eyes this morning.

PS. These are red velvet pancakes and they changed my life.

And that brings me to Hangover Monday.

See you tomorrow, blogland.

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The weekend I boozed because I moved.

Monday, 29 October 2012

Oh hey there, my loves! It's Monday, if you were unaware, and I feel like I got beat up this weekend.

Much to the disappointment of you haterade drinkers out there, I did not get beat up. I spent my weekend moving, drinking, moving, drinking, unpacking and drinking a little more. 

You see, the booze cushions the pain of the moving. Until it wears off, of course, and that's where I'm at today. 

So, enough about my moving induced binge drinking - allow me to show you my weekend in photos, because Monday's are the one day in blog world you don't have to come up with a real topic to talk about.

So, if you live under a rock, or don't follow me on the Tweeter or Instagrammy machines, you may not be aware that I officially signed the next 12 months of my life away and got the keys to the Princess Palace on Friday morning.

I did my hair and makeup just so I could take this charmingly cliched photo for this post. You're welcome.

#bloggerprobz

Here's what she looks like from the back door. She's very naked right now - excuse her while she waits for her new sofa and ottoman to be delivered in 6-8 weeks. (See also: F to the ML)

Here is reason numero uno that I needed this Princess Palace. Now, someone come visit so I have a reason to cook in this bad boy.

Reason numero two... I can do laps in the tub and fully intend on it.

Hey Lush, let me know if you need me to review any bath bombs for you.

And so that was day one. My furniture didn't get moved until Saturday - so the rest of this day was for drinking and going to see Wanda Sykes with my lover, Kate.

We had way too much fun despite Wanda using the first hour of her set as an Obama rally. I enjoyed her set on boobs much better. 

And also roaming City Walk with Kate and vodka.

Saturday the movers came at 8:30am which was just everything I wanted after a night of drinking mass amounts of vodka. This day was exhausting to the 500th power and I am happy to announce that I didn't even have one meltdown. Impressive, I know.

My Saturday night went a little like this...

Chardonnay, leopard robe, 27 Dresses, asleep by 10.

I got a full 11 hours of sleep and it was pretty much the greatest thing of my life.

And then I used all of that energy to drink around the world with my birthday girl, Amanda.

Oh hey, toasted girl.

And with that, I'm out. 

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Guess who's back from the big city, y'all?

Monday, 8 October 2012

Heyyyy there, lovers! How you doin'?

How amazing is PLL? Love that girl to pieces and loved her takeover while I was busy gallivanting through the concrete jungle. Big thanks to her for that amazing post!

We left Friday morning and got back late last night. I'm the brilliant girl who is sitting at work this morning when I should have taken the day off. Who goes to work on Columbus Day after getting in late the night before from vacation? Dumb.

Anyways... let's recap the trip, shall we?

Day 1:

1. Just headed to the terminal at the airport. 2. My NYC polish of choice was Butter London Wallis. 3. 10am beer at the airport - because it's vacation and you can get away with that. 4. Calming the birthday boy with a smooch because he hates flying.

1. We had a fancy not-yellow car service pick us up when we landed at JFK. 2. We are happy people to be in the citayyyy finally. 3. The drive from JFK was a special treat for C - my country boy was amused at New York life. 4. The car service texted me... I was amused.

1. Room view from the front door. 2. Room view from the other side. 3. Our view... I miss it already. Womp womp. 4. The potty flusher makes you choose between whether you went #1 or #2... Yes, I took a picture because this shit is hilar.

1. C and his $20 whiskey martini. 2. Me and my $20 extra dirty vodka martini... These martinis did not have magical powers, as I was assuming they would from the price tag. Oh, New York. 3. We got the lowdown on some dive bars from a nice bartender... which meant we found $2 drinks and were happy little peoples. 4. We walked passed Guy's restaurant. I got totally excited.

I found the broadway show I belong in.

Fun fact: I was hammered drunk in this photo. You're welcome.

Day 2:

1. I don't get fancied up ever - so I was excited to see that I'm capable of cleaning up nicely still. Whatevs. 2. We went to Canal Street - aka. China Town... this is a table full of bongs and other paraphernalia. Awesome. 3. C's fancy faux watch he got in China Town. 4. Some of my China Town goods... I went a little cray. I couldn't help myself, it's been like a month 8 years since I've shopped for myself.

1. We had lunch in Little Italy. 2. Sangria and pasta covered in cheese... we are happy. 3. The sign said "Voted #1 Best Cannoli in New York!" so obvi I needed to test their honesty. They didn't lie... oh, no they did not. 4. Obligatory photo of booze for Instagram, duh.

1. In the cab on the way to Battery Park... I may have been feeling good thanks to that sangria. 2. There's the statue of liberty, which we collaboratively decided was not worth waiting in a line 2 miles long to see any closer. Boom. 3. We hung around Battery Park for a couple hours.. it was beautiful out and nice to actually just sit and relax. Who knew that people sitting in a park doesn't just happen in movies? 4. This crazy thing played whistle sounds when you stomp on it... we were totally intrigued by it. 

1. Saturday night we got all dressed up and fancy to go see the broadway show Jersey Boys. 2. Coolest table of life at a bar we walked by.... I need one of these in my life. 3. The view from our awesome seats at the broadway show... C hooked it up! 4. Double wine in a plastic cup with a straw... I was right at home.

Jersey Boys was AMAZING. Simply AMAZING.

Day 3:

We spent 98% of our last day in New York hopping from bar to bar... mostly because the traffic was too crazy for us to get to any of the places we wanted to go. No complaints from me... beer flights, mimosas, bloody mary's... I love a good Sunday Funday. The big city did not disappoint.

And when we got home at 10:45 last night.... SURPRISE!!! The house was decorated with balloons and cupcakes and all kinds of fun things for the exhausted birthday boy. 

And now I'm going to look through all of our pictures again because I'm so sad I'm not sitting in our hotel's restaurant eating complementary breakfast, preparing for another day in the city. I fell madly in love with NYC this time around and am already begging for a trip back during Christmas time.

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Pink lips and football games.

Monday, 24 September 2012

Gooood morning, lovers! I am DRAAAAAGING this morning. I think I got about 2 solid hours of sleep last night and I'm feeling it bad... I've got to get on board with this melatonin thing so many of you ladies seem to be loving. My plan is to get on that TONIGHT. I needz my sleep.

This weekend flew by and I can't believe this is the last week of September. WHERE has 2012 gone?!

On Friday we went to happy hour and I rocked some hot pink lips. We are extreme homebodies so I'll use any excuse to bust out my current fav lipstick. 

Anyone else loving this bright lip trend going on right now? I can't get enough. They make me feel so Khloe Kardash. 

Side note from happy hour... we had fried banana peppers. Can we please talk about this for a second?! So delish. These were a close relative of my love, fried pickles, for sure.

After happy hour we went home where I proceeded to drink 2 more glasses of wine and fell asleep by 9. Your girl can't hang anymore and it's starting to get slightly embarrassing.

Saturday was game day aka my favorite excuse to day drink! We met up with my favsie honey boo boo, Kate and her hubz to watch the Gator game. I was the long ranger Nole fan but it's cool...  Garnet and gold are much more attractive colors. 

Once again, I came home from the bar and took a nap. I'm telling you, 20 year old Whitney wouldn't even know this person I am anymore. Not too long from now I'll be going to get fitted for some orthopedic shoes. Here's to hoping they have pink ones with sparkles.

Once I woke up from my hibernation nap it was time for my Noles to whoop some Clemson ass. They did not disappoint and I was one happy Nole fan!

Throwing this cutie in here because she looks like a munchkin waiting on the stairs for me to let her out in the morning. 

Yesterday I got to hang out with my mama for a little lunching and shopping. She finally convinced me to buy my new case for my iPhone 5 since we got shipping confirmation on Saturday. So ready for my new phoneeeee. Come to mama, Siri.

Which reminds me... I'm having a harder time deciding what I want Siri to call me than I did choosing a new case... which was really way more difficult than it should have been.

And with that, I think I'm done with my rambling for today. I warned you all, I'm running on little to no sleep. If you have feelings and thoughts on melatonin feel free to give me your two cents. I'm desperate for some good sleep without having trippy dreams and feeling like I'm a zombie in the morning.

Have a lovely Monday, all!

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I Wore Goggles to Work.

Monday, 27 August 2012

Ok, so I didn't really... but I considered it.

This is what it currently looks like here in the "sunshine state". No sun in sight. Like, zero.

I want nothing more than to be in my bed right now, snuggling with these two little muffins...

Both were less than thrilled when I nudged their little butts into the grass this morning to "potty".

Sorry, bugs.

As I mentioned on Friday, I had no big plans over the weekend. Soooo, I really don't have much else to report on today. Exciting, huh?

Yesterday I got to experience the best form of birth control. My niece's 2nd birthday. I was around 4 children ranging from 2 to 7 years old for about an hour and a half. It. Was. TERRIFYING. Props to you mamas out there. That shiz gave me enough anxiety to need multiple double mimosas.

I did, however, use the occasion to test out a new shade of lipstick I hadn't yet been brave enough to sport.

How do we feel about bright fuchsia lipz, ladies? 

I think I likey.

Here's le mama and myself from yesterday. Don't we look like we're having a blast? ha.no.

Alright. I really have nothing much more to say. 

I'll see you tomorrow!

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Weekend of the monsoon escapades.

Monday, 20 August 2012

Good morning, loves. It's Monday... wooh. hoo. I'm trying to make the best of my Monday but Dunkin Donuts went and pissed your girl off before 8am this morning. See, I really wanted a Dunkaccino (thanks to Laura) and their machine was broken. Boo to you, Dunkin. Mama needs her Monday morning caffeine fix, ya heard? Starbucks came through in the end with a good old fashion caramel macchiato and I'm now done pouting.

This weekend was fun but full of rain. I don't know why, after 25 years of living in this state, I continue to grow surprised at the amount of rain that August brings. That shiz was crazy pants this weekend, guys. 

On Friday night my boo took me to get sushi and we got rained on.

Here's what we looked like before we got rained on. My hair was looking alll sorts of hot messness when we got back. Think blonde Diana Ross. Scary, really.

Saturday morning we woke up and guess what? It was raining. Shocking, I know.

We are the brilliant couple that decides to head to the beach when it looks like this outside.

Genius.

But really, we had to go to the general area, regardless, because C needed to get one of his watches fixed and the store was conveniently located 10 minutes from our favorite beach hang out.

I made the best of the weather and bought this super adorbs pair of Sperry flippy floppies while we were killing time at the mall. What? You didn't actually expect me to go to a mall and come out empty handed, did you?

The rain lightened enough for us to head to our beach party spot and we got our drink on a little.

Check out that bucket o' liquor.

I felt the need to take detailed photos of this bad boy... There was an entire fruit salad in that bish!

Low and behold, the rain started back up again and so we made our way back to the house, changed into our YOLO shirts (obvi), for a little drinking Jenga and dog grooming. Yes, you read that correctly. Dog grooming on a Saturday night.

Drinking Jenga with dueling shot glasses. If you don't say "Go Noles!" in your comment, we can't be friends. Just kidding, I live with the enemy. 

I had no clue that this man was so handy with clippers. Ella looks like a new woman and I swear I heard her prancing around the house singing "you make me feel.. you make me feel like a natuuuurallll womannnnn...".

Yesterday C had back-to-back softball games and, get ready for a big shocker...

they got rained out. 

Needless to say, I look and feel like a drowned rat after this weekend and I'm going to be in need of a serious makeover once hurricane season passes. I don't think I've really done much with myself since my birthday. One of these days... Just maybe.

I'm being dragged (slightly more willingly, but don't tell him that) to play tennis again tonight. Seeing as how I'm still a little sore from last Thursday (and I definitely waddled around, grandma style, all freaking weekend) I'm going to need all of you to send a girl some luck. 

Have a great day everyone!

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A Very Spicy Weekend Escapades.

Monday, 13 August 2012

It's Monday, again, which means it's time to share my weekend debacles. I'm slightly happy it's Monday, if that's actually possible, because I had one hell of a weekend. My bestie, also known as Barb... or Courtney if you're not me, came in town on Saturday and, well, she always shows up with her party pants on.

Friday night we get all fancified for a hibachi dateski. This is what we looked like. My boo wore his glasses and was looking all sorts of sophisticated and sexy...

The sophisticated part may have, somewhat, gone out of the window when we decided to kill our 20 minute wait with $4 saki bombs. You try and turn down a $4 saki bomb. It's hard, k?

Onion volcano is my fav part about hibachi dinners. I really don't need much more than to see this and chow on some noodles drenched in white sauce. The other stuff is alright but the onion volcano is pretty much a party every time. I love that shiz and here is a low quality iPhone photo for those of you who also appreciate the art of stacked onion rings, lit on fire by an Asian man yelling "FIRE IN DA HOLE!". 

Saturday looked something like this. C, Barb, and myself played about 20 rounds of drinking Jenga - a little game C and I made around the time we started dating. The Jenga pieces say things like "when in doubt make out", which Barb didn't take part in, also "4 for the whores" and so on. We ran through more beer than a college frat party, I'm pretty sure, and I had the headache Sunday morning to prove it.

Yesterday we got pedis and they were fabulous... Aside from a feature my pedi chair had that I feel the need to speak about. I remember when having a lower back "vibrator" was fancy for a pedicure chair, now these things practically give you a happy ending - and I'm not exaggerating (for once). I pushed the red power button on this chair only to feel like a man checking into prison, shortly after. There was some sort of butt massager in this chair that was placed a little too close for comfort, which took me about 5 minutes (and pushing every single button on the remote) before I figured out how to turn it off. So, ladies, if you see a similar remote to this next time you are going out for a day of relaxation, I suggest you press the button titled" BUTTOCK" immediately. Unless, of course, you're into that and then you're really in for a treat, I guess.

{via}

Last night THIS happened. The mother effing SPICE GIRLS reunited at the Olympics closing ceremony last night and it was the highlight of my year. They were just as fabulous as I remember them being 10 years ago and I was instantly back in my platform sneakers, sucking on a Chumpa Chumps strawberry banana lollipop, with pigtails in my hair. I need way more spice in my life, one song just wasn't enough.

The rest of the closing ceremony? Pretty sure someone laced my wine with a hit of acid. That was something else.

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