Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Reading through celeb gossip this week was slightly painful for me, mostly because I just don't understand how some of these idiots are making $100,000 an episode and I'm just over here waiting for my offer. It'll happen, self. Yes it will.

This week we're starting with two stories from two different Glee stars. Who knew such happy little characters could be up to no good?

Cory Monteeth, or however it's spelled, has been shipped off to live with LiLo. Kidding, kind of. He's off to some, I'm assuming, fancy rehab facility to deal with his "substance abuse" probz and his little girlfriend, Lea Michelle, is just so proud of him for getting help. 

Seeing as how this is Hollywood and not real life, my guess is she's going to hit the road soon... Which is probably good because I've heard LiLo is all about the fresh meat. Good luck, Cory. I'm sure the writers of Glee are so pleased to be rewriting episodes now that you'll be absent for at least two of them. Tough life.

I'm not really sure if any of you watched So You Think You Can Dance back in the first few seasons when it was a really, really awesome show, but I watched Heather Morris get rejected on that show which made me really sad, until she landed a spot on the Glee cast list. Homegirl can dance circles around JT and Ursher, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways, I'm babbling and not getting to the point. She's got a little critter growing inside of her!

Yayyy, Heather. That little spawn is sure to come out with moves like Jagger from the second it takes it's first breath!

You know why I'll make an awesome celebrity one day? I'm sure you're naming a million reasons, duh, but the one I'm thinking of is because I love to make dumb decisions. However, one Z list celeb has just confirmed that I'll never be the dumbest celeb to walk the planet. One hit wonder, Ryan Cabrera, recently played a game of "tattoo roulette", as he called it, with his friends where they blindfold one another and choose the tattoo for the other person. Ryan's new addition?

Freaking Ryan Gosling on his leg. For life. 

I'm sorry but if Ryan Gosling is going to be anywhere on me for life, he's going to be physically on top of me. Shirtless.

The end.

Apparently Heidi Klum is some sort of super human and I would be lying if I said I wasn't horribly drenched in jealous of her, just in general. Seriously though, she just took her perfection to a new level when she saved her kids and freaking nanny from DROWNING. What a boss!

Eat your heart out, Baywatch.

You go, Heidi Coco!

Last up today is slightly depressing. I'm not really sure why I'm ending on a depressing note but it just feels right. Bradley Cooper, that sex pot, isn't really much of a sex pot right now and I'm just really sad about it. He had a little visit from the 80's, also known as a perm, and I'm just so unsure about this new look.

Whyyyyyy, Hollywood, whyyyy? I can't even take the photo on the left even a little bit seriously.

Jerry curls aint your thing, Bradley.

Thank goodness for hats... Call me, sugar plum.

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Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Here I am again, back in the center, stressing about the time of day I'm posting at. Then I remembered what my boo Jesse McCartney once told me when we were having a personal conversation. He said, "don't stress. don't stress. don't stress. just tell him to the left left left.", and I just thought about it, took a breather, and here I am.

Let's chat about some celebrity gossip, shall we?

Rapper Lil Wayne just got out of ICU from his overdose on my new favorite word, Sizzurp. (Seriously, what a great word. I've been trying to use it in every day jargon.) Thanks to TMZ I spent way too long stressing over this overdose on Saturday night because they reported that he was being read his last rights and that he was on life support and all of these horrible things which all turned out to be a big, fat, Kim Kardashian ass sized lie. Can I get an amen?

I'm thinking rehab with LiLo is Weezy F Baby's next stop but what do I know? I imagine getting this one off the sizzurp is going to be about as difficult as it was to find a photo of him that wasn't going to scare people off of my blog. He's like a blog scarecrow. Wait, what?

Speaking of LiLo, homegirl got glitter bombed on her way to court the other day. (Anyone else positive the bomber was Ke$ha?) Of course she was like 30 minutes late, sporting her favorite zero-shits-given outfit, and managed to dodge yet another jail sentence. And by dodge a jail sentence I mean that she agreed to some more rehab, a little dash of psychotherapy, a touch of garbage picking up, and a tiny little slap on the hand.

I bet she still has glitter in her hair.

It looks like another Hollywood couple bit the dust this week. Katy Perry and John Mayer have reportedly broken up. Again. Ho hum. I'm actually surprised that Johnny boy was able to keep it in his pants for her this long, she should get a medal or something because I think this has been a record for him.

I'm not really too sad about this break up. One, because Katy Perry is a totally dime and I'm sure she's got a million of dudes dying to motorboat her and two, Johnny Babe can come sing me a lullaby now.

This isn't really news, or shocking, but another Teen Mom star is up to no good. Farrah Abraham almost hit a cop car while she was drinking and driving, and she blew a whopping .147 which is almost double the limit. Oops. The best part of the story is that she had to go be all dramatic on Twitter, trying to insinuate that the story is a lie.

You know, because the breathalyzers cops use typically aren't accurate at all. Or always.

You know what's cool about being a famous athlete? You can cheat on your smoking hot wife with multiple strippers and bartenders, go through a uber public divorce, and still manage to find yourself a girlfriend. That's right, someone is dumb enough to date Tiger Woods and she's also an athlete. I'm not really sure where this chick's brain is but she lost it somewhere and she needs to go find it before Lil Wayne scoops it up and makes some Sizzurp out of it.

How long until Tiger's wood can't stay in his pants anymore?

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Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Let's start this week off with my favorite sexy boyband man turned solo artist, slash movie star, slash all around marry-me-please man, Justin Timberlake. Who knew he had it in him (and those little CeeLo hands) to fire back at Kanye after Kanye talked smack about the JT-JayZ-Suit & Tie duet? Not me, that's for sure. Maybe it's because I'd be genuinely scared of Kanye intruding on my winning an award in the near future, but I just wouldn't want to stir things up with him.

It's a good thing our Nsync heart throb is nothing like me because he just went on Saturday Night Live and basically told Kanye he was going to let him finish but.... "awww, my hit's so sick got rappers acting dramatic". As if I couldn't love this man anymore, he just keeps on making me swoon. I like to think T.Swizzy got a nice chuckle out of this. I know I did.

If you were unaware, Lady Gaga has recently cancelled the last leg of her tour due to an injury. Monsters everywhere are sobbing while I didn't realize she still existed but, low and behold, she does and she is rocking this injury like it's her job. Which is actually, pretty much, exactly what it is at this point considering she can't really do many strange and bloody piano performances now that she's out of commission.

So, in true Gaga form, she is riding dirty in this gold wheelchair which screams "diva", if you ask me. Do your thing, Gags. 

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, Adrienne Maloof, has been up to some frisky business. And by that I mean that she has been cougaring it up with Rod Stewart's cougar bait son, who is 20 years younger than her, for about two months now. I don't know about you but I can't imagine anything that could possibly go wrong with this picture. Except for everything.

And everything is exactly what went wrong. She broke up with him because she needs "a man". Well Adrienne, as they say, "on to the next one". Get your cougar on, girl. 

I wasn't going to mention Tay Tay Swizzy today since I mentioned her last week but, once again, she's in the news and I just couldn't let this one pass by. It turns out some overly enthusiastic dumpster diver woman found a large bag of fan mail addressed to Swizzy and decided it was her duty as a law abiding citizen to go straight to the media with it. Letters adorned with heart stickers and glitter flooded the bag with no hope of Tay ever seeing them. You know, because I'm sure she always reads every single letter that people send her. One at a time. Over a glass of wine. You know, just like I do.

I know, first hand, that receiving mass amounts of fan mail can be entirely exhausting. I just hope she didn't offend any goat fans because I'd really like those videos to keep on rolling out. (insert goat emoji here)

And lastly, probably the worst news of the week. Worse than the 16+ celebrities and politicians who have been hacked (yes, that happened too). Something that I feel personally effected by, because I am a 13 year old teenybopper. It appears that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are donezo. Caput. Fineto. They haven't been spotted canoodling in quite some time, which is way out of the ordinary for them, and also I'm pretty sure Liam cheated on Miley which makes me loathe him, despite that gorgeous face of his. All of these things aside, there's been multiple "insider" tips insisting that the ring is off and they have parted ways. Sigh.

I only wish that she would come to terms with the fact that her and I are meant to be best friends forever and ever so that we could do the newly single-and-ready-to-mingle thing together.

And really, I can't go on anymore today. 

I need to go sulk in that last bit of news and pray that Miley doesn't pull a Britney and shave that little bit of hair she's got left on her pretty head.

A moment of silence for Miley and Liam, everyone.....

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Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Well, I think I've finally recovered from my Monday night escapades and I'm ready to wash, rinse, drink and repeat again tonight. Just kidding, kind of. Maybe not quite to the extent I took it Monday but maybe a couple blocks over.

It's Wednesday and if you've been here for at least a week you know what time it is.

I've got to start with the king of celebrity gossip himself, Perez Hilton, who has recently brought home a new baby boy. Like, a real life baby. As in, he is now a father. To say I didn't see that coming would be a vast understatement and I'm just not really sure if I'll understand this one. Ever. Maybe because he never, ever mentioned becoming a father. Either way, I hope he leaves the crying up to the kid these days and takes a break from sobbing vlogs.

I think it's safe to say this kid will never be a fan of Will.i.am.

One of my favorite Teen Mom wrecks, Jenelle Evans, appears to be back in rehab. Again. After she just get out a whomping 3 days ago. She says it's for her son and blah blah blah, but I think we all know her mom Babz probably caught her hanging out with KEIFAH and forced this upon her. Regardless of the reason, she's in a first class seat to Amber Portwood status and I'm, personally, enjoying watching the train wreck.

I wonder if KEIFAH went with her this time? Lovers who drug together rehab together.

If you've been living under a rock then there's a pretty good chance that even you have heard that Kim Kardashian is knocked up with the spawn of Mr. Immaletyoufinishbut Kayne West. Kimmy, who was once known for her sex tape fabulous style, seems to have forgotten how to dress herself now that her eggo is prego and I feel embarrassed for her with every new photo that surfaces. This one, in particular, has been pared next to photos of Shamu and, while I wont go that far, this is pretty rough.

Kimmy, if you're reading (duh, why wouldn't you be), it might be time to visit a maternity store or three. Surely they have those in California, right?

My favorite trouble maker from Laguna Beach, I refuse to graduate to The Hills, is planning her wedding. Again. Kristen Cavallari and Jay Cutler have been through more relationship up and downs than T.Swifty, but it seems now that they are back on and on the way to the altar. After calling off their wedding the first time, they ended up pregnant and now they're back together and registered at Williams Sonoma for all of the over priced waffle makers and appliances their hearts can desire. 

If I were Jay Cutler I'd be meeting with my attorney immediately to write up the prenup. Not that a prenup would be much help at this point. You know what Kanye says, "She got one of yo kids, she got you for 18 years". Good luck to ya.

And lastly, but never least, my favorite little serial dater, Tay Tay Swizzle, recently did a very uncensored interview with Vanity Fair magazine that created quite the shitstorm. Not only did she say that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have a spot reserved for them in hell, she also decided to make it publicly known that she has, in fact, only dated two guys since 2010. I really wish there was video of this interview because I can only imagine the interviewer letting out the loudest roaring laugh of Vanity Fair history. I mean, who is Swifty trying to kid here?

Love you girl, but you might just want to own up to your scandalous ways because I think it's safe to say that no one is going to believe this story whether you stick to it or not. 

PS. The song "Dear John" came out in 2010... and John Mayer was not one of the two she's "dated" since 2010. So... there's that.

Honesty might be the only policy in this case.

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Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Well hey there Wednesday, we meet again.
I just spent a good portion of my morning at an office furniture store in search of the perfect desk chair for my new office. My boss legitimately made me sit in about 40 desk chairs, which turned out to be incredibly awkward, so just let that sink in and paint a picture for the kind of day I've had so far.
In case you were wondering, we finally agreed on one and it now sits in my new, empty office.


Anyways, let's get this show on the road.

Janet Jackson is married. Again.

Just go ahead and let that marinate for a second because if you are anything like me, you haven't heard her name since around the time where JT introduced us to her right knocker. Her husband's name is, once again, something I can not pronounce but for the sake of this post I will refer to him as Wiss.i.am the Man. Close enough.

Their wedding gifts to one another were donations to charity, or something very celebrity like that. My guess is that one of these said charities is probably the culprit of leaking these super secret nuptials. Either way, congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Wiss.i.am the Man. I guess.


Nicki Minaj wants to be an actress.
Because, in case you were wondering, what she is currently doing is not actually considered acting. Having 7 personalities doesn't equate to one actress, apparently, and now I'm just confused as to what it takes.

Big, huge props to that agent. This is sure to be an interesting ride for whoever she found to take that job on. Here's to hoping she finds someone to work with her on that British accent she's always trying to pull off.


MTV recently aired one of their classiest shows to date that even puts the worst Snooki days of Jersey Shore to shame. Buckwild is the name and I may, or may not, have found myself shamelessly tuning in to watch this train wreck on the regular. Well, it turns out that one of the stars of the show, Salwa, has been arrested for trafficking drugs. Not just any drugs though... freaking heroin. The real stuff.

I wish I could say that I tagged this one to be the shadester from the beginning but I actually thought she was the sweet one. Goes to show how great my judge of character is. I'm thinking this could be the start of a beautiful friendship for Salwa and Teen Mom's Amber Portwood.
Chicks that rehab/prison together, stay together.


This might be my most favorite story of the week...  Little Miss Teen Delaware has officially resigned from her fancy title and has given her sparkly crown back. Turns out, this class act of an 18 year old has bigger ambitions in life. She was recently quoted in a questionable video saying something along the lines of "I like being on top" and she isn't talking about the beauty queen pyramid.

Yep, that's right, this little lady recently stared in a good, old fashioned porno and she doesn't intend to stop now. Well, ok then... Maybe she'll be offered to take Salwa's spot on Buckwild, I really feel like she'd be a great choice for season 2.

All I know is that the runner up didn't realize that when she jokingly called this chick a whore for beating her, she wasn't really that far from the truth.

It looks like Taylor Swift dressed in disguise on Tuesday night and attended a One Direction show. Ok, just kidding, I don't have confirmation of that but Harry Styles did get nailed in the man jibblets by a shoe while performing on stage and I just can't help but hope it was some undercover T.Swizzy friend who got paid off. Not that I would ever do that to one of my exes or anything...

Though I really wouldn't mind getting the shoe-thrower's rates. Someone's got great aim.
I'd also like to know if T.Swizzle really is paying someone to do this and when the next show will be. Probably the only time I'd pay to see One Direction.


Pornos, heroin, and shoes to crotch.
What a week!

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Whitney's What the? Wednesday

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

I yelled at a man mowing grass before 8am this morning, so if I'm slightly feisty today blame it on the man who interrupted my dog while she was trying to do her morning biznass.

For those of you who guessed that I hate scary movies yesterday, you're right. I prefer to pee pee in the potty, not in my pants. Thank you. As for the other two... well, find me in an old bar in Tallahassee and there's a good chance I'm at the jukebox searching for Journey or Eddie Money songs to drunkenly belt out. And my blankie... well, I don't really have anything to say for myself. I wrap it around my neck when I sleep and use it as a pillow. Call me weird, it's cool.

Alright, let's dish some celeb goods now.

It's been quite a month for our resident pretty boy, Biebz. Turns out a bunch of crazy dudes have been plotting to castrate and murder sweet little Beauty and a Beat. Don't worry Max, the psycho castrators were recently captured and taken to jail... complete with the creepy scarf they've been carrying around to use on our pop prince's man jibblets.

Hang in there, big guy. Whatever man jibblets Selena left you with are going to be safe and sound.

Be sure to send Canadian border patrol a nice fruit basket for that one.

Next let's have a quick chat about Eve. If you have no idea who Eve is, don't worry - I forgot she existed too. She's the one with the paw prints on her knockers. I think she used to rap but that's up in the air, I didn't really feel like putting the energy in to Googling what she used to do before she fell off the Earth. Especially since she's been bad mouthing my Queen of Pop, Brit Brit. She was recently quoted saying that B.Spizzle's part in Will.i.am's new song, Scream and Shout, isn't actually B.Spizzle singing.

My guess is, if you put it in blogging terms, her pageviews are low and she's stirring shit up to get them back up. 

Meanwhile, Brit Brit is packing her bags for Vegas and is all, "It's really Britney, Bitch.".

Apparently there was a crasher at the Grammy's who pulled off the crash of the century. His name is something I've yet to learn but for the purpose of this post we'll call him Vitamin Sudoku, because that's what I read when I saw his name. This guy managed to make his way in the Grammy's, sat in Adam Levine's seat, and even presented a Grammy to J.Lo on stage, all without obtaining any credentials to the event at all. Homie has skills.

There's old Vitamin Sudoku on the far left. J.Lo's leg is just as confused as everyone else is as to who he is. And maybe also a little bit confused as to what the eff Adele is actually wearing.

Unfortunately for event crashers everywhere who were inspired by this little stunt, Vitamin has been arrested for trespassing and has to go to court. Nice try though.

It's no secret around here that I am a loyal fan to my girl, Miley Cyrus. Whether she's just being Miley, or that British kid from Harry Potter, I stand behind her - holding her beautiful, long weave, slightly missing Hannah Montana. Just a little. If you follow her at all, even just a little, you may have caught on that homegirl has a new puppy every other week. Seriously, she must own a farm of dogs. Well, she posted this little nonchalant of her, her sweet little puppy, a keyboard small enough for the puppy to play, oh and some herbs that appear to have recently been grinded up.

Alright then... That's one hell of a photobomb, Mary Jane.

Lastly, a pregnancy announcement. It looks like Feralicious will be joining the pregnant mafia with Kate, Kimmy and J.Simps. If I wasn't already painfully jealous that she gets to lay on top of Josh Duhamel Tad Hamilton whenever she pleases, I'm super jealous now. Sigh.

And another one bites the dust.

Have you voted today? No sign up necessary and you can vote 50 times a day.

Pretty please with unicorn fairy dust on top??

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Whitney's What the? Wednesday : GRAMMYs Edition

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Hey there, sweet thangs. It's humpalump day, I've successfully taken down my iced coffee, and I'm ready to get my GRAMMYs chat on. I've been brewing on this post since Sunday and so if it's a little over the top, that's probably why. Sorry, I just really love the GRAMMYs.

The GRAMMYs opened with quite possibly one of the worst performances I've seen at an event since Ashlee Simpson got busted for lip syncing on SNL. T. Swizzle sang her played out popular hit We're Never (ever) Getting Back Together and it was really, really horrible. Really. There was a bunny, some other characters I've chosen to block out of my mind, and some interesting costumes. Or something like that.

The entire time I couldn't help but to wish for the old, sobby Swifty with a banjo to grace the stage.

Also, her british accent tribute to most recent ex, Harry Styles, had me embarrassed for her.

Stick with the red carpet look, Swizzy. Mouth shut, pretty dress, mysterious look. That's your spot.

Adele still exists, if you were unaware. She showed up to the GRAMMYs this year wearing something that resembles a sofa my grandma had in the 70's and, as always, she gave zero shits to what anyone thought of it. 

Not only have we not heard from her in a solid year, she somehow managed to actually take home yet another GRAMMY this year. She seemed as shocked as I was.

Adele also threw major shade at Chris 'douche lord' Brown after Frank Ocean beat him out for the category they were in competition for. This performance alone was worth the GRAMMY she won, in my opinion.

Keep doing what you do, girl. If I could take a year off and still win a GRAMMY, you bet your ass I would.

You go, Adele Coco.

Wiz Khalifa took the stage with some man named Miguel, who I've never heard of, and the duo looked like one of those optical illusion posters that was cool in the 90's. The performance was nothing worth remembering but I must say, Wiz (ard of Oz) was looking awfully blogger chic in his chevron suit.

All he's missing is a bubble necklace and a sock bun.

See also: I guess the "no boobs" memo that was sent to the celebs in GRAMMYs attendance didn't apply to moobs.

My teenage heart throbbed all over the place when a very dapper looking Justin Biel Timberlake graced the stage in a very appropriately chosen suit and bowtie. If I told you I wasn't expecting JC, fancy Lancey, Joey, and Chris to drop from the ceiling via puppet strings, I'd be lying.

I really thought this was going to be the Nsync reunion to outshine last week's Destiny's Child reunion... 

it was not.

Justin's lucky he still makes me weak in the knees.

Jay Z is not quite the boy band cameo I was praying for.

Side bar... JT has CeeLo Green hands a little bit, no?

Last, but certainly not least, I want to talk about Kelly Clarkson who had to have been drunk off her ass this year. Trust me, I know drunk and homegirl was on the road to slop-a-potamus. My guess is that she took full advantage of the top shelf open bar like a champ. Can't hate on her for that, I do the same thing at weddings.

I loved it, obviously. I had no idea she had it in her.

Next time, Kelly, select your outfits before you start boozing though. Trust me, this rule is Day Drinking 101.

Also, her drunk singing is still amazing and for that I feel a little jealous.

Oh, and this happened too... but I can't really talk about it because I blacked out from the sexy.

I'm talking about that man-dime on the left, not the right, just so we're being clear.

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Whitney's What The ? Wednesday

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Why hi, little bunnies!  While poor Miss Whitty is currently battling the plague, you're stuck with a couple of us trying to play substitute teacher.  Don't worry, though, we'll let you color during science and play Heads Up Seven Up, so really we aren't that bad.

Soooo. I guess I'll get 'er going with your first sub!  

I'm Tyler from Arkansassy.  Being a down-home country gal, I love nothing more than seeing some country singers making headlines.

But LeAnn, LeAnn, LeAnn ... you're just never gonna hear the end of this.

Brandi Glanville came out swinging this week, telling Radar Online how and when she learned of their affair.  Which basically consists of Eddie, Brandi, LeAnn and Dean going to dinner and then watching LeAnn and Eddie try to lick each others' ears all night.

Which I'm not buying.

I'm having a hard time reconciling my love of country with my love of ROOBH because they just can't coexist.  In this situation  you just gotta pick and side, and sorry y'all - crazy Brandi has me siding with the adulteress. 

Team LeLe.

Their kinds of crazy don't even match up, guys.

NOW ... I might feel a little more sympathy for Team Brandi had she done all this, I don't know ... when it was happening.  When the wounds were fresh and she was reacting out of passion and anger.

But no, years later, she still feels the need to talk about it.  Brandi's kids are old enough to be hearing all the crap she talks on Daddy and Step-Skeletor, and if she keeps it up, those kids are gonna end up going on a heroin/ therapy bender before it's all said and done.

And that's really all I have to say about that.

Oh hey guys, Sami's Shenanigans here. I about fell out of my chair on Sunday when I heard that JT himself decided call out my girl Brit at a concert in New Orleans on Saturday. Before singing my personal fave ballad Cry Me a River, he said "Sometimes in life you think you found the one. But then one day you might find out she is just some bitch!". For those of you that are not super fans like myself, you might have forgotten that that particular song has always been rumored to be about the celebrity couple's tumultuous break-up. Justin Timberlake later backtracked and tried to laugh it off on Twitter, but it was too late. You don't go smack talking the Brit Brit and then expect to get away it.

Jokes on you bro, because turns out that after making a smooth $15 million on X Factor, Miss Britney Spears is moving on to bigger and better things.. like a show at one of the Caesars casinos in Las Vegas. Some bitch, Mr. Suit and Tie? Try the RICH BITCH ala Nene Leakes. Somehow I don't think Jessica Biel is making that kind of cash starring in one movie every three years. Brit Brit for the win!

Chris Breezy is just sleazy.

While Whit is sick I thought I would talk about a real sicko: Chris Brown. And by I, I mean Helene. (HI!) 

I used to like Chris Brown. Scratch that, love. I know, I know. But the kid can flat out dance. And some of his jams just get me in the mood. 

Welp. He's at his crazy ways again. If you haven't heard already, he got into a fight with Frank Ocean at a parking lot outside of a recording studio. He claims his innocence. Frank says differently.

I mean who would you root for? The fresh prince of Bel Air (Ocean) on the Left or the scary hood-wearing neck tat having guy on the right?

Not only is Breezy sporting a hand cast, it just came out he called (bisexual) Ocean a "f*ggot"." 

Let me get this straight Chris: You beat up Rihanna, Trashed the Today Show, dressed as a Terrorist for Halloween, and now you're beating up someone else and showing your homophobe colors? 

If it couldn't get any worse- it was just announced he faked documents showing that he completed his community service he was ordered to do after the Rihanna beating. 

Looks like you might need to go on hiatus. (Best dancer ever or not). Maybe go to the jungle where you can pick on some cats you're own size. 

Or get eaten.

Hi, it's Alexa!

Oh, Bar, Bar, Bar, Bar, Bar. And I'm not talking about the little thing I like to cozy up to during happy hour. What the ? has Bar Refaeli's life come to that she's stooped to GoDaddy standards of wannabe-titillating Super Bowl commercials? 

Did her ladybags deflate? Did her golden glow wear off? Did her eyes lose their Come hither sparkle?

I'll take OH HAAAAALE TO THE NAAAAAH for $1.3 million, Mr. Trebek.

So what was she thinking pulling out that sick, sloppy, slobbery kiss on national TV during the Super freaking Bowl? Bar, I know you're no stranger to media questions ~ Are you and Leo on again? Are you just friends? Just how hot is y'all's bedroom? {Inappropriate, perhaps. Vital to humanity's existence, definitely.} ~ but we were beginning to think you're a stranger to PDA. Welp, consider our curiosity satisfied, sistafriend! Even though we'll never get the sound effects of this snippet out of our minds, since we now know you're into the smoochin' bizz, can you at least pull this slop with sexy Leo next time?

Otherwise, your legacy will forever be relegated to what I've deemed NoDaddy, or StopDaddy, or ForTheLoveOfGodMyEarsBurrrrrrrn!

Hey, just be glad a picked the pre-Mononucleosis-transfer picture.



Hi Y'all, I'm Brooke and what better way to break in this special edition of What The ? Wednesday than to share with you some extra-special news.

The big news of the week isn't that Kimye may be getting married soon...I think you have to be divorced for that to happen, but rather they've picked out a name for their soon-to-be bundle of joy.

They wanted something original and something that they loved - so why not Liv?

As it turns out, it's also one of their most favorite nightclubs in Miami and also where Kimye celebrated Halloween. I guess, maybe, it's full of memories. Maybe it has some significance or maybe they just serve up a really cold bottle of Cristal.  I've been there and while I don't quite think it's baby-naming worthy, I do see why it is their fave.  Original? Eh. Crazy? You got it.


Anndddd that's it for the week.  I don't think we did so bad, right?

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