What Day Is It?

Thursday 2 January 2014

It's been, not so subtly, brought to my attention that I've been, what you may call, "MIA" around this joint lately. I wish I had a thousand and four awesome stories to list right here to make up for my absence but, being real honest here, that picture above is probably one of the more accurate portrayals of my whereabouts over the last, nearly, two weeks. 

In short, I've taken up being a bum.

The longer, more drawn out, explanation goes a little something like this:

Professional Snuggler

I've spent a good majority of the last two weeks working on my snuggle skills and, not to sound arrogant or anything, but I've gotten exceptionally incredible at it. Really though, with a teacher like Sir Ellerton, how could I not be?

QuizUp Twerker

Not only have I picked up an unhealthy addiction to the game app, QuizUp. I've also landed myself the title of 'Twerker' which, if you know me at all, you know that pretty much means my life is made. Well the life of bum Whitney, that is. If you're looking for a new unhealthy addiction, something to run down your battery life faster than Farmville, or a way to unawarely pass a solid two hours, this app is the app for your future bum life. 

PS Look me up (Whitney Ellen) and let's play. For hours. 

Christmas Celebrator

Somewhere over this break Christmas happened, at least I think it did. I've taken a lot of naps since then so please excuse my lack of memory. I have plans to recap Christmas, including awesome presents (like the new weave I got.), so I'll just leave you with this photo that proves Sir and I were actually awake at some point on Christmas day. It also proves that I may have had too many mimosas that morning because, let's get real, who is that girl in this, seemingly, family-ish photo? #weird

New Years Dancer Extraordinaire

I, apparently, found the music in me somewhere around the start of good ol' 2014 and I used said music to shake my money maker all night long. Which, I realize, is quite un-bum-like for me but, don't worry, I've gone back to couch living since. Just like Christmas, I have plans slash hopes to do a whole post on the drunk-fest, so just give me a little time to get back in the groove.

PS. Speaking of drunk-fest, not only did I have the music in me, I also decided to bring duckface into 2014, apparently. Cheap beer really does get the best of me sometimes. 

And that's about the extent of my accomplishments since I went on my unplanned hiatus. Well, it is unless you also want to include my single handedly drinking our regular bar completely out of Miller Lite in said accomplishments. My mom should be so, so proud.

Anyways, I hope you're all having a great 2014 so far. I'm still trying to convince my brain it's not accurate to write 2012 on things, so I suppose once I'm done conquering level 40 on QuizUp's Miley trivia (so I can get a new Miley title), I'll work on dating things. Or maybe I'll just go take a nap. 

Wait, what day is it again? 

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"Trick Mirrors"

Monday 30 December 2013

"Trick Mirrors"

Knuckles made of brass
And the past that I slept on.
Girls who grew up fast
Want the men that they crept on.
Blast from the past.
Buckshot from the future.
Gain financial aid
But the governor abused her.
Sum of the slums
Equivalent to the navy.
Can't deny Brenda's baby.
Dad's name was Marcus, maybe……
Lady draped in red.
Tattoos to her ankles.
Can't seem to stay fed
but you can't miss her navel.
Thank God for W.I.C.
And the welfare assistance.
Four letters spell F.E.M.A.
Acronym for the resistance.
Chose politicians
but we can't spell their names.
Created this system
Just to cast more blame.
Bolster the backlash.
Protect the last stash
With what remains of your life.
Starve you child. Beat your wife.
Brag about the struggle
Like the frat and sorors.
Outline the maligned
After plotting out the scars.
Death after last breath.
Meth and the pistol.
Land ruled over jewels
And thick women named Krystal.
Blood on the pavement.
Tears in her eyes.
We race to the scene
But won't respond to her cries.

Long walks initiated on streets.
Downwards spiral of deliberate fashion
Fashioned to forge forks in the road.
Penitentiary perdition or deadly destitute.
Truth told to closed hearts
And ears that widen selectively.
Collectively protesting another's roots
Whilst clinging to the stoop.
Rarely bread and fruit
but surely loose cigarettes and loot
From those we spitefully purport
While we sit on the porch.
Proud to be until we
Encounter one who can't see
How one wouldn't grasp at straws.
We mask our flaws in mockery.
No support for the survivor.
Those who make it out
Face our groundless doubt
Because they aren't what we're about.
The crab and the barrel
brimming over. Spilling over.
Those fortunate to grow older
Wish their younger days were sober.
Somber feeling with no healing.
Dealing with the lowered ceiling
pressed against new generations.
Never ending conversations.
Persecute them for their music.
How that wear it. How they do it.
Disgusting gyration movement
But no basis for improvement.
Parents left to wonder why.
Scrape acceptance. Smear the lies.
Damned to disgrace and defile.
Fuel for copious denial.
Toil and trial in self defense.
Intermingle with the fence.
Still a month behind on rent.
Pitching fits as wide as tents.
Fifty dollars in your purse.
There was more before the thirst.
Can't afford the change in price
But each first sip feels so nice.
No ice. No milk. No care.
Broken barrettes in their hair.
Skin so shiny, smooth and fair.
Not your daughter. Wouldn't dare.
Not unless you're there to see.
Not where you thought you would be.
Gave your future to their father.
He truly couldn't be further
From the angry son who chose
to put back on those same clothes
and take risks on crowded corners.
Addict mother hugs the corner.
Lost her before he was twelve.
Keeps her picture on the shelves
high enough for him to reach
Cash from the last deal he breached.
Teach the preacher. Predict time.
Find it all amid the rhyme.
Reason washes nothing clean
If one will not change the scene.

So much made of class
and the time that we slept on.
Flowers wither fast
Only after they are stepped on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tread in consideration of generations.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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"Red Wine"

Tuesday 24 December 2013

"Red Wine"

Documented my patience.
Watch me race after venom
But not the water to chase it.
All my selfish decisions
Obscure but clear in my vision
Especially when we're throttled.
I love when you grab that bottle
and pour yourself a glass.

Nothing less than buxom.
Sat here by your lonesome.
Knees together
like they want some attention.
Complimentary tradition.
I love to sit and listen.
Thoughts that swirl and sometimes glisten
While you take your little sips.
Dripping from your lips
Are things you'd only say influenced.
So fluent that I understand your plight.
Came over every night
Just to increase your selection.
No true thirst for deception.
No desire to slight detection
Although we fluctuate our pace.
Simplistic direction:
Pop the cork and fill your face
With fermented notes once graced
by the hands of every place we've never been to.

I love what you're in to.
This just might offend you
But that next glass just might bend you
Over like the mind of most men do
And I can't say that I'm different.
Just fortunate you've befriended.
Can't offer you past amendments
but we could possibly dine.
Summer salad is fine.
I like Italian on mine.
I arrive before nine
But there's no dinner. Just wine.

You've been dreaming.
Lights are gleaming.
Slowly speaking.
You've been drinking.
We've been thinking.
Barely blinking.
So much plotting.
So much scheming.
All is steamy.
Pass the glass.
This tastes creamy.
Brought my flask.
Left the cork back on the porch.
Skipped past dinner. Tossed the fork.
Made a violent mess of things.
Left some blotches on the strings.

Couldn't get all of the stains.
Poured stale portions down the drain.
Soaked brains slip from the last sip.
Eyes grip like palms around the cork.
Plunged into our thoughts
Twisting firm with desire.
Floated higher through the pain
Spilling over us like rain.
Watched you strain just to cascade
So I cast aid to your vigor.
Far too parched to let it breathe.
Sat it down and let you seethe.

Merlot splashed over malice.
You don't wonder when
You'll crack that chalice.
You just pour it in.
I can't watch
But I return each day.
Wick placed under sober means.
Remember how they burn away
And fade slowly?
You know me enough
To take in my advisement
and hammer out the chastisement
until all that remains is enticement.
And we wonder where the lights went
When we only see the red.
When we sink into the bed
Amid this life so many dread.
We are free to clear our heads……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……Have another glass instead.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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Letter To My Daughter

Monday 23 December 2013

Dear Kayla,

I will be the first to admit I'm not a great mom. I know I have many faults and have made many mistakes in raising you. The incident over the necklace is just one example of those parenting mistakes.

When I picked you up from school the other week and your aide told you to show me what your friend/classmate gave you I was expecting it to be another one of those rubber band bracelets you've been coming home with.

I wasn't expecting to see the dainty, silver necklace with the "K" around your neck.

I admit to having almost two simultaneous thoughts. The first being absolutely touched that your friend gave you a gift like that. I had to hold back the tears.

Immediately following that thought was a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach as I thought to myself that this gift was going to end up broken in no time.

I was surprised to even see you wearing that necklace. You don't like to wear anything on your arms, around your neck, or in your hair. So while I was touched by the gift she gave you I also felt like it was kind of wasted on you as it would end up sitting on your dresser, or more likely, broken.

On the way to therapy I kept pointing out your necklace and how nice it was of "I" to give it to you and how important it was to take care of it. I kept mentioning that you had to be careful with your necklace so it didn't break.

You were great about keeping it on the rest of the day. That night after I finished making dinner I went upstairs to get you and noticed all the lights were off. I found you in bed with your pajamas on. You said you were tired so I cuddled up beside you and started rubbing your back.

I don't know what made me think about your necklace, must have been intuition, but I reached up to your neck and asked you where you necklace was. You said, "It broke."

I admit I reacted a bit too strongly to the news of what I figured would happen had happened so soon after receiving the gift - that it didn't even last a full day.

I jumped out of your bed and said, (ok more like yelled), "What?! Kayla where is your necklace?!"

You told me it was on your dresser and there I found it split in the middle - no way for me to fix it.

I was so upset and didn't control my feelings well at all. I yelled at you about not being responsible and taking care of your things and look at what happens you end up breaking your stuff. Then I continued in my childish ways and stomped down the stairs so frustrated.

You came down for dinner and sat at the table where I was still fuming over the broken necklace and I didn't let it go. I continued to be upset about it and harp on you about breaking a necklace that someone gave you and how this was such a special gift.

Of course it was no surprise when you left the table and I heard you in the bathroom crying.

I sat at the table and cried too.

Cried because I was ashamed at the way I just reacted and cried at the way that I treated you and cried that I yelled at you and mostly cried because my actions caused you to cry.

I heard you in the bathroom crying and saying, "It broke itself. I didn't do it, it broke itself."

And there I went again, "Kayla it didn't just break by itself! You had to have done something to cause it to break the way it broke. You did something, you weren't careful!"

More tears. From both of us.

I finally went to you and in a more calm voice asked you if you were trying to take your shirt off when you changed to your pajamas; and when you pulled your shirt over your head did the necklace get caught and break? You said yes, but it's hard to know if that's what really happened.

I pulled you in to a hug and apologized to you. I told you I was sorry for yelling at you about the necklace. I told you I still loved you. I know it didn't make everything better, but I wanted you to know I was sorry and that I still loved you despite my less-than-desirable behavior. 

I don't even know why I was so upset over the necklace. I tried to find the words to explain it to you, but I don't think we got very far.

I think it was because this necklace meant more to me than it did to you. I think I've always put a lot of importance on material things ... attached memories to them and they became my memories. Material things became important to me. I had scrapbooks filled with things from my growing up years. Things that I kept because this person or that person gave it to me, or tickets to this movie or that movie because I went with so-and-so.

I was so touched that this girl gave you a present, I think maybe for Christmas. I don't know how many other girls she might have given a gift to as well, or if you were the only one, but either way, you were one that she did chose to give a gift to. You were included. She thought of you and wanted to give you something and I wanted that to mean something to you.

And you were happy about it- I could see it in your face when you showed it to me. But I wanted you to be like me. I wanted you to be responsible like I was when I was your age. I wanted you to take care of your things. I wanted you to just know how you were supposed to take care of the necklace. I wanted you to take pride in it.

I think my anger was anger at myself that I unfairly directed at you. Anger because of my own image of you doesn't always reflect the person who you are. Anger at myself because sometimes I blame your having Down syndrome on things that frustrate me. I had the fleeting thought that if you didn't have Ds you might have cared more about the necklace, might have been more careful when changing your clothes, might have just known how to be gentle with it. I know that's not fair and that is one of my faults. I never said I was perfect. I know I'm far from it.

I know there was no reason to be so upset over a $5 necklace from Claire's. The "K" charm on it was still intact; all I had to do was replace the chain. I did apologize to you, but I'm saying it again that I'm sorry I went overboard. I was just hoping the gift of this necklace would last longer than an afternoon.

I did go to Claire's and get a new chain. But by then I had traumatized you about the necklace because you refused to wear it. I convinced you it would be ok to wear it to school and that your friend would be happy to see you wearing the gift she gave you. You finally relented and I've been able to get you to wear it a few times now.

It looks so pretty on you.

I'm not the best mom, but I am trying to be better. Thank you for forgiving me for my faults.

Love, your Mom.

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Finally Festive

Oh hey there, day before Christmas eve. I've been more productive today at work than I typically am in a week because, I'm hoping, if I finish up everything I have to get done today I won't have to come in the office again until 2014. THAT, my friends, would be a true Christmas miracle.

With that said, let's make this a quickie because who doesn't like a good quickie. 

Wait, what?

Are you ready for this little shocker? The bear and I went on our first official date on Friday night. Yes, you read that right. Him and I have never actually been on a real date. What can I say? Our entire relationship is a bit unconventional and, well, we've just never gotten around to doing the ol' "pick ya up at 8" thing. That changed this weekend, though, and it was cool and all... Except I'm just a big fan of the nights we come home, turn the AC down to polar bear (See what I did there?) temps, and curl up with some take out and a good movie. 

Either way, mark it down. We've officially been on a date. Nearly five months later. Ha. 

Oh, oh, we also decided to be all festive and shit on Friday night. And by "we" I mean "me" because, if we're being honest here, bear didn't really have a choice. 

We went and walked this crazy Christmas light house and it put my Grinch ass right in the Christmas spirit. Yep, you read that right. I'm officially on board with St. Nick. It only took me a month... No big deal.

Saturday we did the adult thing and went on a mass cleaning attack on my apartment. It sucked big ballsack. Well, it did until we finished... and then I enjoyed every damn second of it and didn't want to leave. Bonus points, we even shampooed my rug so now it's back to being off-white and black instead of grey and black. Holler. 

Sweet serenity. 

Saturday night I got myself some delicious oysters for dinner, topped with a pitcher of beer, and ended with a little darts. That, sir Luke Bryan, is MY kind of night. 

Yesterday I woke up to this little face...

Which convinced me to stay in bed a bit longer than I probably should have but, hey, you would too. 

Once I finally rolled out of bed, I made my way out to battle the crowds with my mom and finish up my Christmas shopping for bear. We made a pit stop at Cheesecake Factory for some Bloody's and brunch, and then I had my parking spot stollen by some jackass in a VW Jetta. He laughed while he pulled into the spot, which basically forced me to use every bit of class I had in my body to not scream profanities and deface his vehicle. Woooo. Saaaaa. Or whatever that yoga thing is.

My tree now looks like Santa has arrived and I can't wait for bear to open everything. Even more, I can't wait to show you guys what I got him. So. Cool.

Anywho, I'm out like me in dodgeball. 

Wish me luck in my pursuit of getting the next week off.

Also, don't forget that tomorrow is the last day to order and pay for this month's IWYP By: Whitney Ellen #OOTD shirt!  [CLICK HERE to order]

See yaaa! 

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