5 Minutes, 3 Dry Heaves, 2 Beauty Products

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Living alone is quite the rewarding thing for chicks in today's world. I mean, in addition to the asstasticness that is cooking yourself Bagel Bites in your skivvies, it's also pretty damn awesome to know you're calling the shots around the place and it's all yours. You're the one making sure the power stays on and that you don't get evicted, and maybe sometimes on special occasions you even remember to lock the doors when you stumble in at 2am. (if you're a stalker, that last part isn't from experience, k?) You're the queen of the castle and, well, that's pretty damn cool.

Along with all of these awesome things comes a few unawesome things every once in a while that make you wonder why you ever opted out of having a male roommate. Case in point, that time I had to kill that big bad bastard bug all by myself. 

Now, I'm no helpless little damsel in distress over here but I'm also not saying there aren't certain things around my apartment that would be much more efficiently done if I had a male around. Bob the builder, I am not. 

There's definitely been a handful of times I've had to bribe a male or two to come over and put things together, or properly hang things on my walls because, lezbihonest, ain't nobody got time for all of that measuring and leveling nonsense. Luckily, bribing men is easier than bribing a child with M&Ms. I typically opt for the beer bribe but I'm sure if you use your imagination you can find a few other things that would work as well.

Sounds easy enough, right? Right.

Except no, this was not the case for me last night. See, over the last week or so my shower has been draining slower than honey out of a plastic bear's cone hat and it has only been getting progressively worse. Now, like I said, I'm no little princess who can't get her hands a little dirty, but I know damn right well what it means when that shower isn't draining and I know that meaning isn't a magical unicorn waiting to pop out and spread rainbows all over my apartment. 

So, I did what any chick trying to prove a point that she can fend for herself would do, I unscrewed the plug thingermajigger to assess just how bad this situation was going to be. Low and behold, it was bad. Bad bad bad. Too bad for me to even paint a picture because last night's Chardonnay is going to come up if I have to put much more thought into the disturbing scene I viewed last night.

Fast forward to my problem solving skills, I bust out my thinking cap and try to figure out how to get this disturbance out of my drain so I can take a real shower and not a shower-bath. 

Cheap tweezers that came in a manicure kit that I never use, check.

Bobby pin I found conveniently snoozing on the floor by my shower, check. 

Lets eff some shit up. 

5 minutes, 3 dry heaves, 2 beauty products, and 1 massive pile of disgustingness, my drain was clear and that water was rushing down like Niagra Falls.

I did the damn thing and I did it well. 

And that, my friends, is what I like to chalk up to another #singlegirlwin. 

Thank you and good night! 

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Some Things

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Let's get weird random here today because I have a bunch of random thoughts floating around this brain of mine and where else to leak them than right here on this old blog of mine?


- I can't get this song out of my head and I don't hate it. Brings me back to Tallahassee a little and that's never a bad thing. Anyone else feel like tapping a keg of Natty when they hear this? I know I've got some Noles in the house.

- Last night we went out and did something that involved no tacos. One, because I'm over this whole taco Tuesday nonsense that wont seem to die. And two, because I'm currently digging the food trucks, known as Tasty Tuesday, in downtown Orlando.

- Tasty Tuesday's cool as hell because it's right next to a bar that is an actual adult arcade. Not like Dave and Busters, way better than that, and the beers are only $1.50. Well, that is if you don't mind PBR. Which I do not.

- Hungry Hungry Hippos is the jam, for the record.

-You know what's not the jam? Virtual beer pong. I was overly ecstatic about said game because I'm a beer pong enthusiast, which is probably why I was so disappointed by this stupid video game. It just doesn't even make sense. You only get 60 seconds to clear your cups, which have zero water/beer in them and the cups don't even go away when you hit them.

- Go home virtual beer pong machine, you're not even a little bit drunk.

- I really can't wait to eat my turkey sandwich for lunch today, which sucks because it's only 10am.

- I also hope said sandwich is actually edible considering I made it at 1am last night... because I was bored... After I got home from the big kid's arcade bar thing. Yeahhh.

- I got emailed a photo of myself from two weekends ago at the Orlando City Soccer game. Apparently I was named one of the 18 best "winning faces" at the tailgate by a local magazine. Yep, sounds about right. Hashtag winning.

Check out that winning face, guys.

- And maybe there were other people in said "winning face" photo, but that's besides the point.

- My friends are starting to catch on to me, I think. I continually get asked how I get all of my Instagram "likes"... Insert awkward turtle here.

- Someone went and named a damn cookie after me and it just tickles me to the core. Brin and her baking skillz are on fiyaaa. I can't even wait to go HAM on some Whitney cookies.

- I'd really like to take a nap right now. George Costanza style would suffice. Seinfeld anyone? Bueller?

- A lot of comments I got on yesterday's post made me actually laugh out loud. You guys are funny, funny people and I dig it. Shout out to my married ladies who were all "I was hammered the first 6 months I dated my husband". Thanks for giving me the laughs yesterday!

- I think it's about time I head on outta this place because this is just getting lengthy and if I continue it's going to get real weird.

- Go read your horoscope.

- Mine sucked today.

- Spay and neuter your pets.

- Yoga pants, out.

- PS. #OOTD, eat your heart out.

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Land of Waterfalls

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

While we were on vacation last week we discovered we were pretty much in the middle of what is called the "Land of Waterfalls." This area was so pretty and it was so nice to get out of the humidity.

The only complaint was the rain. But you can't do anything about that. We were in the midst of daily downpours - as was much of the East Coast.

We still managed to make the most of it and see what we could of the area, and the waterfalls. Joe really wanted to take the kids to Sliding Rock (and we discovered later there are 2 Sliding Rock Falls) and let the kids slide down the rock waterfall into the swimming hole, but that never happened. Because of all the rain, including the very wet June, the falls had much more volume of water than usual.

Our first falls was on our return trip from the Blue Ridge Scenic Railway. We stopped at Dry Falls and Bridal Veil Falls.

Dry Falls was our favorite because we could walk all the way behind it. The kids had fun hiding in a little cave behind the falls and then running out and down along the path.







As I mentioned, we had lots of rain. We went to Pisgah National Forest so we could do something inside at the Pisgah Center for Wildlife Education and the Cradle of Forestry (the kids loved the scavenger hunt here. They wanted to do another one but we didn't have enough time). Each of those places also had outside walking trails. We were fortunate that the rain was off and on and we were able to explore outside as well. Sometimes with it sprinkling and then going inside for the harder rains.

There were also a number of waterfalls in this area. We were able to see 3 of them; although the last one we should have just skipped!

This one is Looking Glass Falls - rain cleared enough to enjoy going to see this one.


Then we made it to the other Sliding Rock Falls (open to viewing but closed to sliding due to high waters).


Couldn't get in the water, but checking to see how cold it was.




And our last falls of the day turned out to be an adventure - Moore Cove. The other falls were pretty much right off the road. You just parked your car and walked down some steps to the viewing area. To get to this one you have to hike through the forest - a little less than a mile one way.

See our family picture in the falls above? That was right before we left to go find this one. As we were leaving it started sprinkling. When we parked for this one it was still sprinkling, but we decided to take our chances thinking this would be a quick walk to the falls. It wasn't. I don't know how long it took us to reach the falls, but it seemed forever ... because the sprinkles turned in to some pretty heavy rain. And it was of course muddy. And we only had 1 umbrella. Lucas tried to stay under the umbrella with Kayla and me, but it's kind of hard to walk 3 abreast like that so he gave up and walked with Joe. Their shirts were soaked by the time we made it out of there.

We can look at this picture and laugh about the adventure we had going to see this falls. When we finally reached it (after debating throughout our walk whether to continue going or turn around) I joked that it was not worth the hike. Although in nicer weather I'm sure it would have been worth it!



























To cap off our night - once we got out of Pisgah we were still about an hour away from where we staying and it was already after 6pm. Do we drive back an hour and try to eat dinner later, or find a restaurant in the closest town and eat first ... while sitting in wet clothes. Thankfully I had zipper sweatshirts for the kids, so they changed in to those, but Joe didn't have a shirt to change in to and half of my shirt was soaked. We still opted for the early dinner.

And if we didn't already have our fill of water and being wet ... I totally knocked over Kayla's cup of ice water right into my lap. It was a 4th of July we won't soon forget!

The next day finally brought us some clear sky and even a bit of sunshine. We visited our last falls - Whitewater Falls - the highest falls in the east.

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5 Dating Rules I Suck At

Woof, what a morning. I almost didn't get a post in because I was busy sobbing in my desk chair before 9am thanks to spilled coffee and being frazzled by a certain boss of mine as soon as I walked in the building. Anyways, enough complaining...


Dating is really effing weird.
Really, really weird. There are all of these "rules" us chicks are supposed to follow that straight up confuse the Chardonnay right out of me.

Today, let's just go ahead and have a quick chat about these dating rules and why I'm absolutely horrible at following them. Though, I guess following rules isn't really my thing, as we all maybe caught on to during yesterday's post.

Don't text first.
Ok, so I get the initial text... maybe try your best to back off of that so you don't come off all stage 5 clinger. But shit, I like to talk, I think of weird things, inside jokes arrise in my head, and sometimes I just want to send a stupid text and not be judged for it. Dafuq is wrong with such a thing? A lot, apparently. Typically I fail at this rule, especially after a few adult bevies. My bad.

Don't be readily available.
Apparently there's this rule in dating where you're not allowed to be able to hang out with your flavor of the week any given time he invites you to do something. Well shit, guys, if I'm getting offered free sushi why the hell would I turn that down? Homegirl is ballin' on a tight little budget over here, free sushi, sake, and maybe a beer, sounds just swell to me.

Behave and don't drink too much.
I think it's safe to say there's no way in hell this one is even remotely possible for me to follow and I also think it's safe to say that if anyone trying to date me is looking for someone who behaves, they're barking up the wrong friggen tree. Amiright? I say this rule can just go ahead get lost because if you can't keep up with me, or if you try to tame me, you gotta hit the road, Jack. Like my bestie Miley says, "I can't be tamed". Nope, I can not.

Play the game.
I really, really, reallyreallyreally, can not stand this universal "game" dudes feel the need to play with us chickidees. First of all, I was never in "game" sports growing up. I danced and there's no game to that shit, so maybe that's why I absolutely suck at this, but in all seriousness ain't nobody got time for this nonsense. If you're going to make me work for you, I'm probably going to become very uninterested and quick. Let's not forget, when it rains it pours and you, Jack, are just a little drizzle. Kbye.

Can't mention dance without a Whitopotamus sighting.

Don't have a blog.
Jay kay. I just wanted a number 5.
Except I'm pretty sure it will take a long time of me seeing someone to let them in on this little hangout spot of mine. I can't even fathom the look I will get once that day comes. Holy anxiety, just thinking of such a thing. Someone, hold me.

And now I know you all are now just amazed at how someone who is so good at following all of these rules could possibly be single, except I'm pretty sure I just actually enjoy it and maybe that's why I refuse to follow the "rules". Or maybe I'm just a stubborn, little Leo who likes to move to the beat of her own drum. Yep, going with that last one.

Have a good one, I'm outta here.


PS. Go check out Allie's new blog design I pulled out of my bum yesterday while my creative juices were flowing. Also wish her blog a happy 1 year birthday because who doesn't like a good reason to celebrate?

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The are to be no parties on the parking garage roof tops.

Monday, 8 July 2013

I really have to be one of the world's worst bloggers. Here it is, 10:30 and I'm just staring at this blank page I haven't visited since last Wednesday, wishing I took more photos over my break.

The honest truth is that I had 4 days filled with nothing short of ridiculousness, including almost losing my phone, getting my new baby tattoo, and way more sake than I should ever consume at any given time.

Wednesday is when I got my new baby tat, here's what she looks like:

Infinity - aka the symbol to remind me that my possibilities are always and forever infinite.

Wednesday night we went to this place that had the craziest happy hour I've ever witnessed. Once we were about halfway through our drinks, the server came over with a quarter, flipped it, and asked us to pick heads or tails. If you got it right, your drink was completely free. SAYWHAT? After happy hour we headed to our usual spot... and then I ended up in random sunnies again. I've really got to stop that...

Thursday we had ourselves a good old fashioned pool day in honor of 'Merrica's birthday.
Here's a selfie for you. You're welcome.

Thursday night I met up with some old friends from high school for our favorite fireworks show ever. They do it every year and it's been a hot minute since I've made it, so it was nice to finally be there again this year. It's pretty crazy because we're so close, it literally rains firework casings on us. Luckily the mass quantities of Miller Lite getting passed around tends to make you not even realize this is happening.

Well, until the finale when everyone has to move back because it gets that crazy.
Gotta love having friends with parents in demolition.

Friday my bestie came to visit me and I'm still having withdraws from her.

We ended our night somewhere around the time the sun was rising... which is way late for this soon-to-be 26 year old but sometimes when your bestie is in town you just gotta do it big. YOLO.

Oh, did I mention we spent a good few hours on the top level of the parking garage?

Which is slightly humorous seeing as my complex sent out a "4th of July Reminders" email that looked a little like this:

YOLO squared.


Saturday was a rough one for me and also the day my phone almost went missing. I have zero pictures from the day and that's probably do to the fact that I was hardly capable of working the camera on my phone.

Note to self: Taking sake as an actual shot is a horrible, terrible, no good idea. Just don't do it, ok guys? Never ever.

Needless to say, Sunday was spent in full recovery mode and that leaves me here today, just back to reality, wishing my work would do itself. Le sigh.


See you all tomorrow.
Focker out.

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