Eight Years Ago

Friday, 15 July 2011

Eight years ago I woke up thinking I wasn't going to make it to work. I just didn't feel well and was lethargic. I called into work sick saying that if I felt better later that morning I would come in.

Eight years ago I sat in the glider with a heating pad on my back, wrapped in a blanket, and a baby-name book in my lap. I fell asleep off and on for about an hour.

Eight years ago I went back to bed and tried to get comfortable in different positions with pillows. Most of the time I spent on my knees hunched over a stack of pillows, rocking, alternately rubbing my back and stomach, drifting in and out of sleep.

Eight years ago Joe called me from work to see how I was doing. I said I was pretty sure I was having contractions and was trying to time, and record, them. But maybe they were just Braxton Hicks. I didn't know for sure, but I just didn't 'feel well.'

Eight years ago Joe suggested I try to get up and walk around because, you know, we read that in all the pregnancy books. It might help. I mumbled 'mmm-hmm' but to myself I was thinking 'Oh whatever. Forget everything I read to prepare for this. All I feel like doing is lying on these pillows, rocking, and rubbing my back, and moaning through the bouts of pain.'

Eight years ago Joe came home on his lunch break and helped me out of bed to walk through the house for a few minutes. I told him I just wanted to go back to bed.

Eight years ago I decided to get in the tub, because supposedly being in the water makes the contractions easier to handle. Being in the tub only seemed to make it worse.

Eight years ago I called Joe at work and said he should probably come back home. Yes, now.

Eight years ago he came home to find me still in the bathroom, out of the tub, hunched over the toilet (lid down, thank you very much) rocking and moaning and rubbing my back.

Eight years ago Joe wanted me to get in the car. I didn't want to move from that spot. I didn't want to sit in a car and ride to the hospital. I told him to just call an ambulance because I couldn't move.

Eight years ago I made the blood drain from Joe's face when in a scared and urgent voice I told him I thought I could feel the baby's head now and to please look to see if he could see the head. (You can't be responsible for anything you say in the middle of labor, right?)

Eight years ago I told Joe to load up the car with my suitcase, camera, video camera, pillow, snacks, etc etc etc while I continued to wait in the bathroom and then I would leave to go to the hospital.

Eight years ago Joe finally managed to get me up off the bathroom floor and out to the car. I thought I would be too uncomfortable sitting up in the front seat, laboring, so I sat in the back so I could be semi-hunched over my pile of pillows.

Eight years ago Joe drove to the hospital pretty much one-handed while the other hand reached across the backseat so I could hold it and squeeze through the contractions. When we were half-way to the hospital he said I had 3 contractions, so that meant just getting through 3 more and we would be at the hospital. He was close...it was 4 more.

Eight years ago we parked at the hospital and I told Joe to leave all of our things in the car and just get me registered and in a room first, and then he could come back to get the bag and everything else. Because you know, first time births take hours upon hours upon hours.

Eight years ago we checked in to L&D at 3:00. It was calm and quiet at the desk, no one was in a hurry...had to answer questions and paperwork. I leaned on Joe and rocked back and forth and let him do the talking.

Eight years ago they got me in a room and told me to put on a robe and get on the bed so I could be checked. But at that moment I didn't want to lie down, I just wanted to stand on my feet and rock back and forth. The nurse told me the sooner they could check to see where I was the sooner they could probably let me back out of bed to walk around.

Eight years ago I finally got the robe on and got on that bed. There was still no big rush as the nurse got everything going for all the pre-labor preparations.

Eight yeas ago someone checked me and the nice, calm, serene, slow-pace was shattered as she yelled out, "She's complete with a bulging sac of water! Get Cindy (midwife) over here NOW!" Then my water broke.

Eight years ago I told Joe, "Guess it's too late for an epidural."

Eight years ago Cindy arrived within minutes, there were nurses all over my room. One of the nurses grabbed my thigh and told Joe to get my other leg, she gave me instructions on how to grab my thighs, breathe, push, something or other, and I could push now. I got all ready and then said something like, "Wait, can you explain that again?"

Eight years ago, at 3:45, 45 min after checking in to the hospital, I gave birth. There hadn't been time for Joe to go back and get all the 'stuff' from the car after all - including the camera. There are no just-after-birth pictures, and baby-being-weighed pictures, of Kayla.

Eight years ago I heard Joe say, "It's a girl!" (We hadn't found out during the pregnancy.)

Eight years ago they placed her across my lap, I looked into her face for the first time and said, in a voice that sounded very detached from the whole situation, "She does have Down syndrome, doesn't she?"

Eight years ago I became a mother. A mother of a daughter. A mother of a child with Down syndrome.

Eight years ago what I thought only happened to 'other people' became my reality.

Eight years ago my beautiful, wonderful, amazing, stubborn, strong-willed, free-spirit, arms-crossing-miss-attitude, impulsive, friendly, lovable Kayla came in to the world just as she was meant to be.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy birthday sweet girl. I love you.

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Memory Recall

Thursday, 14 July 2011

I wish I had the memory recall of my 3-yr old. I can't believe some of the things and details that he remembers.

Several months after we moved here I was helping Lucas get dressed one morning. Then I said, "Why am I getting you dressed? I know you can do this all by yourself!" (Because awhile before that I put clothes in Kayla's room for them to both get dressed and he came out fully dressed.) He said "Like I did 'last morning' in Kayla's room?" Yes that was what I was referring to.

I was relaying that particular conversation to Joe and Lucas overheard and said, "When I put the shirt on backwards?" I hadn't even mentioned that part, but yes, the day he got dressed in Kayla's room he did put his shirt on backwards.

I was talking to Lucas about something else he did and he mentioned, "When I had that blue shirt on?" Why yes, yes you did.

He listens when I'm telling Joe stories about something he said and will get more specific and describe something from the event like, "When I was in your bathroom I said that?" Yes, I was talking about that time in my bathroom, geesh!

Back in Feb I took Lucas for a speech eval. It seemed to me he was talking with a pretty pronounced lisp and I didn't know if that was typical developmental speech, or something we should be watching/working on. Since this was right around his 3rd birthday the evaluation was done at the nearest elementary school instead of through an early child development center.

This school just so happened to be the one Kayla woulda/shoulda attended since it is her home school. We were in that school twice - to register her for school and again for the initial IEP meeting. This was in Aug, 6 months previous to taking Lucas there for the eval. We hadn't been back there since. We walked in the front office and Lucas immediately turned to the right and looked on the side of the book case and then back at me and said, "Where'd it go?" I was pretty sure I knew what he was talking about, but to be sure I asked him, "Where did what go?" He said, "The table." There was a small kids' table there with coloring books. I couldn't believe he remembered that from being in that building 6 months before.

Back in April we went to the Miracle League field for "movie night." Unfortunately it was cancelled due to the threat of lightening. As we were driving away Lucas said something about not liking something. We figured out that he was talking about the movie night from 6 months ago. I think he said something about the train scared him. There was a train in the movie, but at the time he never said anything about not liking the movie, or being scared. I wondered if he really even remembered the movie he saw one time, 6 months ago. So I asked him what the movie was about. He said, "Baseball." Ok .. maybe that was a lucky guess because we were at the field where Kayla plays baseball. So I asked him what else it was about. I don't remember his exact description, but he said something about the boy trying to get the bat back. That his dad thought he took it, but he didn't. That pretty much is what Everyone's Hero is about. I couldn't believe the details he remembered about that movie.



We pass by a restaurant and he says, "We ate there last time with Pepere and Grandma Linda."

We were at an office building and a couple months later went back. Walking up to the front door he said, "Last time the men were mowing the grass." I asked him "Where?" He pointed over towards the side of the building and it jogged my memory that yes, there were men landscaping over there.

If only my memory were that good!

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The Alligator Story

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

It seems when you have a child with special needs you look at everything they say or do as an accomplishment, or mastering a skill, or reaching some milestone ... things that you wouldn't notice otherwise. Things that you would just take for granted as happening in the natural progression of growing up.

Such was the case the other day when Kayla and I were driving back home from the store.

Publix always has balloons available for the kids with a clip on the end to keep them weighted down. Kayla was playing with the clip, making it open and close (fine motor skills! strengthening her finger grip!) when she said "chomp chomp" (imaginary play!) and continued with "The alligator ate you up mommy!" (storytelling!)

I said, "It did?! Oh no! If the alligator ate me up then who is driving the van?" She told me "no one." (Good awareness about what just happened in the story!)

I continued the conversation with, "That's not good. If no one is driving the van then it might crash."

I really don't think I was expecting an answer from her; at least not some logical answer that would follow that train of thought.

She responded with, "Chomp chomp! The alligator ate the van."

Me thinking to myself: great logic there! If there alligator just eats the van then the van can't crash! Analyzing! Thought-processing skills! Following through with a made-up story! Logic! Drawing a conclusion!

These are the things in my day that make me smile.

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Isle of Palms Beach

Sunday, 10 July 2011

The last day of our busy 4th of July weekend was spent at Isle of Palms beach. Kayla loves the water, and while Lucas doesn't mind the water, he much preferred making mud and building sand castles!

Sorry for the picture overload, but someone (hello mom!) is holding out on getting a Facebook account, so I still have to share pictures on the blog so she can see :)

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Red, White and Blue

Saturday, 9 July 2011

After our trip to the Waterfront Park in Charleston we went home to rest and relax for a few hours. That evening we headed to Summerville for their annual Red, White, and Blue Festival. We met up with the same family we were with earlier, and also one of Kayla's friends from the Miracle League. The kids had such a great time.

They loved going down the big slides:

 I absolutely love this one of Kayla and her friend Maya:

Maya, Kayla, Emma, and Asher. 4 kids who don't yet realize they share a common bond of having an extra 21st chromosome:

It cracks me up that Emma and Asher are both in the stroller kicking back with one leg up by their heads!

Asher grabbing Kayla's nose...

So she grabbed his in return...

Asher was loving the attention from the girls:

The moms and kids:

Lucas and Hunter (who is a great big brother to Emma and Asher):

 

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