Politely Cutting the Line

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

About a month and a half after school started we had a special-review IEP meeting. We discussed how the accommodations and modifications were working out, went over her progress thus far, and in general see if there was anything else the school team could be doing to help make sure Kayla would have a successful year.

During this meeting her teacher told us how all the kids really like Kayla and she gets along with everyone.

She said the kids all like Kayla so much, that when she goes up to sharpen her pencil she cuts in line and they let her. They don't say anything to her, but she knows if another classmate cut in line the students wouldn't let it happen.

Her teacher has been making sure it doesn't happen either and reminds Kayla she has to go to the end of the line.

I talked with Kayla about this when I got home.

Me, "Kayla when you go sharpen your pencil in class are the other kids sometimes in line already?"
Kayla, "Yes."
Me, "And you just go to the front of the line?"
Kayla, "Yes, I sharpen my pencil."
Me, "But Kayla you're not supposed to cut in front of the line. You need to wait at the end of the line."
Kayla, "I say excuse me!"

Well there you go. Maybe the other kids aren't being polite when they cut in line.


 

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School Pictures

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

I'm pretty pleased with how their school pictures came out this year.

My Kindergartener ...

 My 4th grader ...

 

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Yearbooks

Friday, 18 October 2013

What's the consensus for yearbooks in the elementary years? Do you purchase them for your kids or not?

When I was growing up yearbooks used to be a thing reserved for high school only. But when I was in 7th grade my middle school produced a yearbook for the first time. That middle school went from grades 4-8; so that first year was also the first time for 4th graders to get a yearbook.

When Kayla started school I balked at getting her a yearbook in Kindergarten. I think I might have said something like, "It's Kindergarten for crying out loud! Why do they need to have a yearbook from their Kindergarten year?"

Then I caved when she was in 1st grade. Caved because I felt guilty. The whole school-memento thing. Just like I buy school pictures every year even though the picture package seems to get smaller but more expensive.

But then I balked again about the premise of yearbooks in elementary school and is it really a big deal to not have one? So I didn't order one in 2nd or 3rd grade.

Except there was a moment in 3rd grade when I felt that guilt again. Kayla was pretending to do something when we were driving some where one day and I asked her about it. She happily explained, "I signing a yearbook!"

Oh crap. The kids are passing around and signing their yearbooks?! Was my kid the only one who didn't have a yearbook?! Did I leave her out of something everyone else was doing?

So now we're back to yearbook time again and now I have 2 kids in school. I still don't particularly feel that it's that important to have a yearbook from the elementary school years, but now there is the cost factor as well. $30. Times 2. $60 on yearbooks? How do parents do it when you have even more than 2 children?

Yes I still have my yearbooks from 7-12th grade, but do I ever really look at them anymore? My high school ones for sure mean more to me than my middle school yearbooks, but they're all just sitting in a box together.

Do I really want to end up having 12 yearbooks for each kid sitting in a box?

I'm leaning towards not ordering the yearbooks while they're in elementary school (save for the 1st grade one Kayla has), but how common is it to not get the yearbook?

It feels like with digital cameras now I'm recording plenty of their childhood and elementary years. And I have their school pictures. Odds are most kids don't make it in the yearbook aside from the school picture; so is there really a reason to get one?

What do other parents do about elementary yearbooks?

 

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The Sibling Age Gap

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

When Joe and I started talking about when to try for a second child we envisioned having them relatively close in age. While the age gap between them isn't that large (4 years 7 months to be exact), there are times I wish they were closer in age; like now that Lucas has started school.

I thought it would be nice for them to grow up going to school together, but that's likely not to happen beyond elementary school.

Because Lucas was born in February he didn't start school until this year; because Kayla repeated Kindergarten she is in 4th grade this year, otherwise she would be in 5th and this would be their only year in the same school.

I know that students with disabilities can stay in school until they are 21, or maybe 23 in some states, but I don't know exactly how that looks and I know each state does things differently.

Does that mean when they are 18 and a senior they walk across the stage w/the classmates they've been with for 4 years and then return back to their high school to do it all again with the next group of seniors? And then do it again after that? Or do they just walk across the stage the one time with their classmates but keep going back to school for the next 3 years? To do what? Take all the same classes? Go to another separate part of the school to work on life skills? Take 3 more years for a job-type class? I have no idea and I haven't looked too much in to it since things could be different by the time Kayla is in high school.

But right now I don't want that for her. I don't know what it will be like when she's in high school, but I don't want her to go through the motions of walking with her class at age 18 and then just continue to go back to the school for the next 3 years. I don't know what all the answers are though.

IF she does do something like that, then I guess it would be possible for she and Lucas to be at the same high school at the same time.


But as of right now they'll only have one more year of being at the same school together and riding the same bus together. (Unless we hold her back to give her another year in elementary school before transferring to middle school - but I'm not sure I want to do that either given that she's already repeated a grade and would then be 2 years older than her classmates).


When she starts middle school he'll only be in 2nd grade. And when she's finishing high school he'll be finishing middle school.

I don't know why this feels so important to me, but it does make me somewhat sad. I wish that she would have her brother with her through the school years. Just to have that familiar face and someone on her side. And there's probably a part of me that was hoping he would be there to 'watch over her' - keep an eye out for her.


Overall I just wish all this school stuff and decisions and placements and transitions didn't have to be so hard.

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Class Presentations About Down Syndrome

Thursday, 10 October 2013

A commenter in yesterday's post asked if I did a presentation to Kayla's class when she was in Kindergarten. (I couldn't find a way to contact you directly, so I'm doing a post about what I've done for the past few years.)

I know some parents send a letter to all the parents from their kid's classroom at the beginning of the year. They explain their child has Ds and what that means for them, and that they are still part of the classroom etc. I know for the parents that have sent it they always say it is a very positive thing and they usually get many responses back. I've never done the letter. I've always had mixed feelings about it. I don't want to single Kayla out even more by having a letter go to her classmates' parents all about her and her diagnosis. Although I can see how it could open the lines of communication between her classmates and their parents. It's just that no other parent in the classroom sends out a letter about their child and what issues they may or may not have in the classroom.

I didn't speak to Kayla's class when she was in Kindergarten. No specific reason! I think mainly it was because I didn't know what to say and I'm not comfortable speaking in front of a group of people ... even if they were only 5 years old! But I realized that never gets easier for me - whether they are 5 years old or 10 years old!

Several years ago the NDSS offered a kit called "Everybody Counts" and it included a VHS tape (that's how long ago it was created!), a poster, and teacher lesson plans and activity sheets that were separated by grades. In 1st grade I gave Kayla's teacher the VHS to show to the class and the teacher materials. In hindsight, I probably should have been in the classroom when the teacher showed the video and not have left her to do it alone and handle any questions that came up, but for some reason I wasn't there. I figured it was a cute, short video on a friendship where one child has Ds and the other doesn't. The teacher said they did have a little discussion afterwards and it went well. The video - My Friend Isabelle - is online. I think this would be very appropriate to show to a Kindergarten class.

The NDSS doesn't have this kit anymore but they do have a "Get To Know Me" poster and accompanying lesson plans for grades K-2 and 3-5.

In 2nd grade I finally got up the nerve to speak to Kayla's class! I emailed the teacher this photograph of Kayla's chromosomes and she put it up on the smart board. I talked to them about the chromosomes in our body, what they mean, and pointed out that Kayla had that extra one on the 21st chromosome. I talked a little bit about how that affects her. Then I read the book Meet Annie. Each page describes something about Annie - her likes (baby dolls and balls), getting in trouble (for eating a cookie before dinner), being afraid (of the dark), sometimes messing up and needing help, and asks a question of the reader. "Do you sometimes get in trouble too? Are you ever afraid? Do you need help?" When I read this book and asked those questions I also asked it to the class so they were participating and raising their hands about what they needed help with, what their favorite food was etc.

In 3rd grade I did the same thing with the picture of Kayla's chromosomes and a brief explanation. I also pointed out ways Kayla was like them, and ways that we are all alike and different from each other. I asked the class several questions like "Who has been on an airplane? Who has been overseas? Who likes popcorn? Who likes the beach? Who likes roller coasters?" Her classmates were watching Kayla to see which questions she raised her hand. The book I read last year was High Fives and a Big Heart. The book is written and illustrated by a 4th grade class about their classmate Jeffrey, who has Down syndrome. The book is the second book from Mikayla's Voice.

For this year I'm going to talk with Kayla's teacher about showing the video in yesterday's post, again showing the picture of her chromosomes (I think the visual of those being the actual chromosomes from inside her body is something neat to show the kids.) I am also going to use my explanation to Lucas in the "Chromosome Talk" about how the extra chromosome also means extra material in her brain and why it takes her longer to learn things.

Since the discussion about Down syndrome, and Kayla, includes the ways that it makes things harder for her to do, I think this year I am also going to make this about all the neat things that have happened to Kayla because she has Down syndrome, and some things that have happened but have nothing to do with Down syndrome ... but just let the moment be about her and let her shine.

Neat things like:
- Her pictures are in the British Journal of Hospital Medicine for an article on "The Eye and Down's  Syndrome (it is apostrophe s in the U.K.).

- Then those eyes became a bit more famous when she was the grand prize winner ($25K scholarship!) in Prevent Blindness America's Most Beautiful Eyes contest. She didn't win this because she has Down syndrome, but she does have beautiful eyes because she has Down syndrome. She has beautiful Brushfield spots in her eyes, and the almond shape is flattering on her!

- A picture of her was used in a poster from the Oregon Council on Development Disabilities for their I Have a Voice self-advocate/awareness poster.

- She's twice had her picture up on the Jumbotron in Times Square for the NYC Buddy Walk.

- She's thrown out the "first pitch" for the Charleston RiverDogs and befriended a (now former) pitcher.

- She was a model in the Global Down Syndrome Foundation's Be Beautiful Be Yourself Fashion Show and walked the runway with supermodel Beverly Johnson.

And a couple of neat things that had nothing to do with Down syndrome:

- She is in the National Military Family Association's pamphlet "Toolkit About Military Kids."

- Kayla (and Lucas) were in a back-to-school fashion article from the Lowcountry Parent Magazine.



This post is also linked up with the IDSC's Taking Down Syndrome to School blog hop.

  

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