Daily Tay Catches Whitty in Her Lies

Friday, 8 February 2013

I know I told you all I was going to post today but somewhere during my cold medicine haze yesterday this girl offered to fill in for me and when someone like this offers to do such a thing you don't deny them. I don't think she needs much of an introduction, all I know is that she's who I want to be when I grow up.

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Why I don't believe Whitney wears yoga pants to work.
By The Daily Tay

By now we all know Whitney wears her yoga pants to work.
But has anyone actually seen her wear said yoga pants to work?
I don't want to throw out accusations here, but I've got reason to question this.

For starters,
does this look like a girl who's got yoga pants going on down below?

Doubtful. Very doubtful.

And then we've got exhibit two to consider.
Pretty sure Whitty said this was taken only a few week ago,
Again, no yoga pants in the picture...
Very cute suspenders sure, but no such pants.

And then there's this incriminating photo.
This was taken of Whitney AT WORK.
If you think there's even a stitch of yoga pants happening below you're just fooling yourself.

Again.

Furthermore, wouldn't someone with two white dogs stray from black yoga pants
in fear they'd always be covered in little white hairs?

Or does Whitney even own these dogs....

I know this is a lot for you to take in.
But I encourage you all to ask your own questions.
I think it's pretty obvious what is going on here.
Whitney is a power shark in the office and this is just one her tactics to get ahead.
She wants the rest of us to wear sloppy yoga pants to work while she continues
to bust balls one day at a time in her pantyhose and shoulder pads.
Makes sense, doesn't it?

My name is Taylor, I don't wear yoga pants to work.
And I think the lies need to stop.

If you'd like to read my other conspiracies feel free to stop by sometime.
Isn't it time we put the lies to rest, Whit?
You'll feel much better after you do.

XOXO
Tay



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Well there it is guys, my cover has been blown.
If you can find it in you to forgive my lies and continue reading my blog, I promise I'll be back on Monday. Go get your flu shots people, the plague sucks the big one.

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A Valentine's Day Horror Story.

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Hey guys, I am still battling the plague - also known as the flu - and it's throughly kicking my ass. My goal is to actually write here tomorrow but for now I am going to leave you with a guest post from a new blogger I've found who is constantly making me laugh. Soooo, while I continue to lay here like a drugged out zombie, here's Staci!

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Hi everyone! I'm Staci & you can usually find me rambling over at High Cotton Blog.

I'm taking over Whitney's blog today because....I don't really know why she agreed to this. It could've been the constant flattery. Or my high-level stalking skills. Seriously, show up on her front porch if you want to post on her blog. She loves it (please don't do this. Or if you do Whitney please don't sue me all I have is a puppy.) No, but really it's because she is awesome & I'm sure you know that since you're on her blog but I don't care I'll say it anyway.

Let's talk about February. The month of loooove. And groundhogs. And chocolate. If you are expecting some cheesy Valentine's Day post, sorry. I'm not your girl. Even though I'm engaged, I have no interest to engage you (see what I did there? Ha!) in some post all about looooove & feelings. Gross.

Know what people never talk about? Their worst Valentine's Day experience ever. Lucky for you, I know there's nothing you'd rather read about than a good, painful story. My pain=your gain.

I present to you: A Mexican Restaurant & Victoria's Secret: A Valentine's Day Horror Story.

We are going back, my friends. Back 7 years (good God I'm old) to 2006. A time when seniors in high school wore this & thought they totally looked like Kristen from Laguna Beach & not a prostitute. Good times.

So sexy

In typical ridiculous high school fashion, I was dating the qUaRtErBaCk & writing his name like that. In typical quarterback fashion, he was a huge asshead. To say I didn't expect anything for Valentine's Day would be a huge understatement.

At school on the big day, I listened to all my friends talk about their flowers and their Build-a-Bears and their awesome new Dooney & Bourke bags modeled by that newcomer Lindsay Lohan. I tried not to get too upset. Valentine's Day is stupid anyway.

I really wanted this bag.

But then- miracle of all miracles- quarterback announces he is taking me out to dinner! A romantic Valentine's Day dinner! I love Valentine's Day! He is a changed man!

He picks me up that night & we drive tooooo....a grocery store parking lot! No, he's not buying groceries to make a fancy meal, he's meeting up with his dad. Ohhhh...he's getting something from his dad! Something small. Jewelry? A gift certificate to Abercrombie? How exciting.

Our next stop- El Publito! The only Mexican restaurant in our teeny tiny town besides Taco Bell. And it had really gone downhill after the owner,Carlos, had been deported back to Mexico (I am not making any of that up). As we pass the Cinco De Mayo decorations still hanging around from last year and sit down at a table giving him a good view of ESPN, I realize this is my big Valentine’s Day treat. As much chips & salsa as a girl could want. And remember I'm 17. Can't drink yet. No tequila shots to ease this pain.

It's the thought that counts blah blah blah, so I start to place my order- a chicken quesadilla with cheese sauce on top. It probably cost $6.

"Oh wait..." quarterback says, "I met Dad for a coupon. You have to order off this section of the menu, though. No quesadillas listed there."

I ate my burrito, he paid with his coupon, & I cried as soon as I got home.

Flash forward to the next year. Yes, I'm still dating him. No, I don't know what was wrong with me. I know things are going to be better. It's the weekend before Valentine's Day & he's going shopping. He has learned his lesson! I get a call while I'm sitting in my dorm room:

"Uh hey Staci."
"Oh hi! How's shopping going?"
"Yea..listen. I'm in Victoria's Secret."
---Zach Morris style pause right here. The Victoria's Secret he is standing in is the only Victoria's Secret within about 50 miles of the small towns that litter interstate 75 between North GA & South TN. It's a guarantee that the weekend before Valentine's Day it is completely packed with teenagers giggling at lingerie, men desperately trying to find something for their wives, little boys getting led around by the hand, the whole shebang. I could hear all the noise of toddlers & teenagers in the background.---
"I'm in Victoria's Secret & I am going to get you some of these PINK sweatpants, okay?"
"Sweatpants...oh. Okay then."
"Well what kind do you want? Let's see, shit sorry kid, I just knocked over a kid haha. Ok there's this green pair. They uhhhh they say LOVE on the leg. There's this blue pair. They've got an f-ing anchor or something on them I don't know. Oh, here's a purple pair. They've got some f-ing shit on the ass...like a star or something?"

This was my Valentine's Day present. A pair of $30 sweatpants. With some f-ing shit on the ass. That I had to pick out over the phone.

Is there a graceful way to end this post? I really think f-ing shit on the ass tells you all you need to know.

No matter what happens to you this Valentine's Day. Whether you get married or engaged or dumped or cheated on. If there's one thing I wish I could go back & tell myself...one thing I can share with you, it's this: you are worth the full $6 for the quesadilla. No.Coupon.Necessary. And you should just ask for the tequila. Everyone feels sorry for you anyway.

For more deep insights like this, you can visit me anytime. Thanks to mah frand Whitney for letting me post on your blog...even especially after I finished an email with "Zig-a-zig-ahhh."

___

Seriously, love this girl. Go check her out and show her some love!

For now, I'm off to try and sleep this plague off for the 3rd day in a row.

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Whitney's What The ? Wednesday

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Why hi, little bunnies!  While poor Miss Whitty is currently battling the plague, you're stuck with a couple of us trying to play substitute teacher.  Don't worry, though, we'll let you color during science and play Heads Up Seven Up, so really we aren't that bad.

Soooo. I guess I'll get 'er going with your first sub!  

I'm Tyler from Arkansassy.  Being a down-home country gal, I love nothing more than seeing some country singers making headlines.

But LeAnn, LeAnn, LeAnn ... you're just never gonna hear the end of this.

Brandi Glanville came out swinging this week, telling Radar Online how and when she learned of their affair.  Which basically consists of Eddie, Brandi, LeAnn and Dean going to dinner and then watching LeAnn and Eddie try to lick each others' ears all night.

Which I'm not buying.

I'm having a hard time reconciling my love of country with my love of ROOBH because they just can't coexist.  In this situation  you just gotta pick and side, and sorry y'all - crazy Brandi has me siding with the adulteress. 

Team LeLe.

Their kinds of crazy don't even match up, guys.

NOW ... I might feel a little more sympathy for Team Brandi had she done all this, I don't know ... when it was happening.  When the wounds were fresh and she was reacting out of passion and anger.

But no, years later, she still feels the need to talk about it.  Brandi's kids are old enough to be hearing all the crap she talks on Daddy and Step-Skeletor, and if she keeps it up, those kids are gonna end up going on a heroin/ therapy bender before it's all said and done.

And that's really all I have to say about that.

Oh hey guys, Sami's Shenanigans here. I about fell out of my chair on Sunday when I heard that JT himself decided call out my girl Brit at a concert in New Orleans on Saturday. Before singing my personal fave ballad Cry Me a River, he said "Sometimes in life you think you found the one. But then one day you might find out she is just some bitch!". For those of you that are not super fans like myself, you might have forgotten that that particular song has always been rumored to be about the celebrity couple's tumultuous break-up. Justin Timberlake later backtracked and tried to laugh it off on Twitter, but it was too late. You don't go smack talking the Brit Brit and then expect to get away it.

Jokes on you bro, because turns out that after making a smooth $15 million on X Factor, Miss Britney Spears is moving on to bigger and better things.. like a show at one of the Caesars casinos in Las Vegas. Some bitch, Mr. Suit and Tie? Try the RICH BITCH ala Nene Leakes. Somehow I don't think Jessica Biel is making that kind of cash starring in one movie every three years. Brit Brit for the win!

Chris Breezy is just sleazy.

While Whit is sick I thought I would talk about a real sicko: Chris Brown. And by I, I mean Helene. (HI!) 

I used to like Chris Brown. Scratch that, love. I know, I know. But the kid can flat out dance. And some of his jams just get me in the mood. 

Welp. He's at his crazy ways again. If you haven't heard already, he got into a fight with Frank Ocean at a parking lot outside of a recording studio. He claims his innocence. Frank says differently.

I mean who would you root for? The fresh prince of Bel Air (Ocean) on the Left or the scary hood-wearing neck tat having guy on the right?

Not only is Breezy sporting a hand cast, it just came out he called (bisexual) Ocean a "f*ggot"." 

Let me get this straight Chris: You beat up Rihanna, Trashed the Today Show, dressed as a Terrorist for Halloween, and now you're beating up someone else and showing your homophobe colors? 

If it couldn't get any worse- it was just announced he faked documents showing that he completed his community service he was ordered to do after the Rihanna beating. 

Looks like you might need to go on hiatus. (Best dancer ever or not). Maybe go to the jungle where you can pick on some cats you're own size. 

Or get eaten.

Hi, it's Alexa!

Oh, Bar, Bar, Bar, Bar, Bar. And I'm not talking about the little thing I like to cozy up to during happy hour. What the ? has Bar Refaeli's life come to that she's stooped to GoDaddy standards of wannabe-titillating Super Bowl commercials? 

Did her ladybags deflate? Did her golden glow wear off? Did her eyes lose their Come hither sparkle?

I'll take OH HAAAAALE TO THE NAAAAAH for $1.3 million, Mr. Trebek.

So what was she thinking pulling out that sick, sloppy, slobbery kiss on national TV during the Super freaking Bowl? Bar, I know you're no stranger to media questions ~ Are you and Leo on again? Are you just friends? Just how hot is y'all's bedroom? {Inappropriate, perhaps. Vital to humanity's existence, definitely.} ~ but we were beginning to think you're a stranger to PDA. Welp, consider our curiosity satisfied, sistafriend! Even though we'll never get the sound effects of this snippet out of our minds, since we now know you're into the smoochin' bizz, can you at least pull this slop with sexy Leo next time?

Otherwise, your legacy will forever be relegated to what I've deemed NoDaddy, or StopDaddy, or ForTheLoveOfGodMyEarsBurrrrrrrn!

Hey, just be glad a picked the pre-Mononucleosis-transfer picture.



Hi Y'all, I'm Brooke and what better way to break in this special edition of What The ? Wednesday than to share with you some extra-special news.

The big news of the week isn't that Kimye may be getting married soon...I think you have to be divorced for that to happen, but rather they've picked out a name for their soon-to-be bundle of joy.

They wanted something original and something that they loved - so why not Liv?

As it turns out, it's also one of their most favorite nightclubs in Miami and also where Kimye celebrated Halloween. I guess, maybe, it's full of memories. Maybe it has some significance or maybe they just serve up a really cold bottle of Cristal.  I've been there and while I don't quite think it's baby-naming worthy, I do see why it is their fave.  Original? Eh. Crazy? You got it.


Anndddd that's it for the week.  I don't think we did so bad, right?

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PinkLouLou takeover!

Friday, 5 October 2012

Hey ladies! As you can see, Whitney's blog has been victim of a PLL hijacking! If this is our first meeting, well then hey giiiirrrrl! I have a dog, a blog, and a passion for hair and makeup- almost comparable to my passion for Carrie Underwood. 

See.. My Carrie sisterhood runs DEEP. Haha. 

(I still can't believe I met her!)

WOW. I just realized I have some serious, SERIOUSSS issues. ;) 

Anyway, on with my point of today's post, lets talk hair. I know it sounds silly but hair inspires me. (what?) Yes it does, go with it. I am not sure where my affinity for doing hair came from, but I have always loved doing it. I didn't go to cosmetology school, but toyed with the idea more than once. 

So after years of doing friends hair all the time anyway, I decided to start my own side business doing freelance hair and makeup, and I am having an absolute blast doing what I love. I swear I learn something new everyday. 

I love recreating looks from pictures, and also love trying new things. There is no rhyme or reason to my madness, I just grab a glass of pinot grigio, and and start poofin'! Haha. I get so excited helping and showing girls how to master different looks on their own. It really is what I love to do. 

I get most of my inspiration from celebrity pics. Some of my favorite Carrie looks include...

{She can do no wrong in my book} ha ha ;)

I also love darling little Reese, and have serious hair envy of Lauren Conrad. 

I mean seriously LC, stop it. You are too damn pretty. 

One of my favorite cuts ever was Miss Jessica's back in 2005 maybe? 

So.stinkin.precious. 

I remember taking this pic to my hairdresser and her being like 'oh sweetie... you don't have enough hair for this'. 

HAHAHAHA. It's true. I have less hair than the average 2 year old. 

So how do I get those long locks pictured above? Well I fake it, le duhhh. ;) 

About two years (and countless weaves) ago, my life was forever changed when i discovered that I too, could have the hair I had always dreamed of. 

Confused? Don't worry. I spill all my hair secrets here. 

I am so glad that I have taken this jump,  this leap of faith to start my own little business doing what I love. It's scary sometimes putting yourself out there! Will I make a million dollars and retire at 29? Pssh-clearly not doing hair and makeup haha. BUT I love it, and it is fun, and exciting, and I feel so fulfilled when I master the exact look my clients were wanting.

  Aaaaand i still have my day job. ;)

So what inspires YOU? What would you be doing if you had all the freedom in the world? Isn't it fun to think about??? Wouldn't the world be such a happier place if we could all do what we love all the time?? 

Have a happy Friday ladies!! Thanks for having me Whit, and have a BLAST in NYC!!!! 

xoxo 

by way of... 

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Guest Blog: The Painted Desert's EASY French Mani!

Friday, 3 August 2012

Happy Friday to all of my lovely ladies! I am, most likely, sipping on a mimosa at the airport with C (trying to get him as drunk as possible so he'll actually get ON the plane), preparing for our flight to Key West right now. My plan is to enter a total and complete zone of relaxation [see also: white girl wasted] on this vacay so I'm going to hand the mic over to a lovely lady I met via Instagram, over our love of nail polish, and let her take the stage here on my blog today. 

Take it away, Elise!

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Hello Everyone!

My name is Elise, and I just started a blog called The Painted Desert. I am a 27 year old wife and mom. I got into nail polish and doing my nails about a year ago, and this is my first venture into the blogosphere.

Today I'm going to be showing you how I do french tips. When I wear them, I get a lot of compliments & comments from people who think I have fake nails, or don't believe I did them myself! Now, I'm not one for the traditional white french tip, I prefer a "funky french". I usually incorporate a colored tip and stamping!

First, start off by painting your nails with your favorite base coat (I use OPI Nail Envy for sensitive and peeling nails), and then a french manicure base to hide any staining and make your nails look perfect (I use Orly Rose Colored Glasses). You can see a slight bit of yellowing on my nail here, but that is not visible outside of photos.

Second, place a notebook paper reinforcement where you would like your french tip to be. I do mine right at the natural curve of my nail, so my tips look natural.

Next, paint the tip of your nail with your desired polish (I used Color Club Peppermint Twist). It is best to use a polish that is opaque in 1 or 2 coats. Before the polish has dried, quickly remove the hole reinforcement. You will be left with a clean line.

Complete the rest of your nails, and seal with topcoat when they are dry

Now, you can stop here, but why would you?! I added 1 coat of China Glaze Fairy Dust, and stamped a flower image from BM 311 in Konad White 

 

This is a quick, easy way to do a professional looking french tip without having to free hand it or sit at the salon. I hope you all enjoyed my tutorial, I really enjoyed sharing it with you!

Thank you Whitney for having me, and giving me an opportunity to share my nails with your readers!! <3

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