The beards are back.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

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That's right friends, all is good and well in the world again.

Duck Dynasty is back and I am one happy little lady.

Last night was the season premiere and it did not disappoint. I got a full hour fix of my favorite duck call making, turkey seducing, frog hunting crew and now I, once again, have a purpose for surviving Wednesdays. 

And since I was so excited about last night - I took note of the things I have learned from from these bearded men and I am going to share them with you.

Don't all start popping the popcorn at once.

Lawn mowers aren't just for cutting grass. 

As it turns out, there is a sporting event for racing lawn mowers. Who knew?

"If you're on a mower, it's to cut grass." -Uncle Si

Personally, I'm with Uncle Si on this one.

Ladies walk into the beauty parlor looking like an old hag and come out looking like Dolly.

Thank the good lord for the beauty parlor. I'm feeling rather haggish today.

Fishing doesn't mean fishing.

Last night I learned that when my future child tells me they're going "fishing" with their man or lady friend, really they're going to do a little hanky panky on a boat.

It's better to catch fish than to catch crabs.

When you do the hanky panky on a boat, you go from happy happy to crabby crabby.

Just call everyone Jack.

I'm terrible with names so I'm thrilled to have made the realization that Uncle Si calls everyone Jack.

I'm picking up this one, indefinitely.

Always have ice and tea.

And maybe a Tupperware cup.

In 'Nom grizzly bears drive scooters.

If a bear can drive a scooter anyone can drive a car.

Or something.

Speed limit signs are just a suggestion.

Will reference this the next time I get pulled over.

Sex only lasts shortly, food is forever.

Ms. Kay and Phil have been married for a very long time. I suppose I need to perfect my cornbread recipe.

 Real ninjas have all kinds of different body weights. 

I was pretty hammered when I wrote these notes... That's really the only way to explain this one.

I'm off to browse Pinterest for the perfect cornbread recipe.

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Hairspray is not perfume.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

First thing's first,

THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who read my post and commented so sweetly yesterday. I am amazed by how supportive and understanding you ladies are and I'm very lucky to have every single one of you here. Thank you, thank you!!

Second... THIS happened last night and oh my lanta, I died.

Still dead. That dance was an instant favorite of all time when it was originally danced by Kayla and Kupono, but this... this got me deep down. Holy shiz. I almost forgot why I was excited the olympics ended... and then I saw So You Think You Can Dance was back on. Icing on the cake - Mia mother effing Michaels night and it did not disappoint!

Did Anyone see my homegirl, Honey Boo Boo, last night? It's no secret I was tuned in to TLC at 10pm last night. I have the wine headache to prove I did and, well, it was completely worth it, as usual. Highlights? The kid thinks Elvis is one of Santa's helpers. Also, she worried that her mother was going to eat her pet pig, Glitzy. I couldn't make this shiz up if I tried.

Here is my fav little redneck and her obnoxious pet pig, Glitzy. 

I really need to redneckonize.

This damn show had your girl drinking wine like it was going out of style. So much so that I woke up with a little wine flu this morning and have foggy brain like a mofo. 

Foggy brain is when you spray this on your neck fully thinking it's perfume. Which I may, or may not, have done while getting ready for work this morning. No, nope, I actually did that. My bad.

Alright, I've babbled enough nonsense today. I'm out!

Happy almost Friday day, loves. 

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