The Oregon Poet Laureate

He's a nice guy, but he's making us write haikus. For Christ's sake. Somebody's gonna Google this and slap me for disrespecting my elders and betters. But dude: haikus. These aren't haikus, senryus or tankas in any serious history of those forms, except in Basho's mundane advice to circumvent the rules or whatever. Some are hybrids and all are dumb. But yeah, yeah, disposable poems, etc.

***

Local carnival ride:
feet brush Wal-Mart,
pat down the moon.

***

Two trash bags
in the backseat --
stolen apples.

***

I dropped his ugly raincoat
in a drainage ditch,
and my father sighed.

***

Old friend with a bad tooth.
I cover my bright wrists.
Please: let me know less.

***

Bus back from the hospital.
I had a brother once,
for seven months.

***

Cinnamon rolls
are good cold?
Well. Well, alright.

***

Hot seventh grader
done square dancing.
One for the road!

***

Only ugly girls
know ten dollar words.
Sexist conundrum.

***

Cabin for sale
and redwood fog.
Our pancakes giggle.

***

If a dinosaur swallowed
the skating rink,
I would still hold your hand.